Questions to nonautistics

Heyo said:

A few? That's a lot of questions

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I may have wrote a few before I finished writing the whole thing...

RayofLight said:

Communication. Why is it that so many nonautistic people make assumptions at times and read into things that arent directly said?

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That's a question I also ask frequently, last time here Breaking up and God..
I think it has to do with our brains propensity to fill gaps in our perception with heuristics to form a complete picture. It works in most cases but it is also the source for most optical illusions.

Example for filling up information:
A sociologist, a physicist and a mathematician are in a train together and travelling to a country they haven't been yet. Shortly after passing the border they see a herd of sheep being driven by a shepherd. The sociologist says "I see only black sheep, I conclude all sheep in this country are black." The physicist says "You can't conclude that, you can only say that these sheep are black". The mathematician corrects: "You can't say that, you can only say that these sheep are black on the left side".

Why is it some of y'all have a habit of saying things y'all don't mean? Why do so many nonautistic folk avoid direct straightforward communication and just don't say their thoughts at times when they could just make things easier by upfront communication?

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Also a thing I have problems with. There are two probable reasons: not wanting to hurt others feelings and not wanting one's feelings hurt.

Koldo said:

Because it doesn't sound natural. Would you start a conversation in person with: 'what?'.

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Sometimes I do.

Koldo said:

That's not supposed to be exhausting though. Around here at least I think that once people notice you are on the autism spectrum they won't expect you to do all of those things.

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That would be nice. It might be that way here, but I'm still used to being in Indiana where not doing that frequently had people assuming I'm not friendly, angry, don't care, and so on. I may even start disclosing I'm autistic at job interviews so I don't have to put on a huge act to get hired because just being my normal self doesn't get me hired.

Koldo said:

Do you feel threatened?
I can't help but think that much of what you experience is a more extreme version of what many of us experience.

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It just causes pain. It's weird. I get it during certain things when I'm looking at it and trying to focus. It's very hard to explain, but somehow for some reason my eyes just hurt.

RayofLight said:

I don't think I need to get over it other people just need to respect it

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If that doesn't improve, then definitely they need to respect it. It's not something you can help. I don't mean to suggest that an act of will will not make it not painful to make eye contact. Each person is also different.

RayofLight said:

For me eye contact is painful and overwhelming. Makes me uncomfortable. But what is eye contact to you since from my understanding most don't experience that feeling when making eye contact?

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Eye contact is fine for me when I intend to communicate.
Otherwise, it's a burden cuz I sense some interaction is
imminent, & I've no desire for it.

Do y'all ever get underwhelmed regarding senses? I mean autistics get overwhelmed with sensory overload cuz they are hit with so much info. I can hear electricity which isn't typical. But most nonautistic folk without sensory processing issues(which can occur without autism) and without other disabilities hear so much less then us. They don't get as much input sensory wise in general either. So I wonder...is there such thing for y'all as a sensory underload? Kinda like how sometimes I need sensory input regarding things I'm hyposensitive to things such as proprioception? Or do y'all just be fine with your senses most the time no sensory underload or overload?

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I like to hear things. When in school, I did my
studying & homework in a gym where I worked.
I hated libraries...too quiet.

Communication. Why is it that so many nonautistic people make assumptions at times and read into things that arent directly said?

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I can't help you here. It's taken some time to figure out
how to communicate with people prone to inferring a
subtext I didn't intend. Women posed the most difficulty.

Why is it some of y'all have a habit of saying things y'all don't mean?

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Any number of reasons....joking,
sarcasm, & lying come to mind.

Why do so many nonautistic folk avoid direct straightforward communication and just don't say their thoughts at times when they could just make things easier by upfront communication?

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Social niceties & convention work that way.

Why do I have to say goodbye when I hang up the phone? Why can't I just be like ok and hang up? Apparently thats rude and I dont know why.

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It's the convention.
It is what it is, whatever its murky origins.

Shadow Wolf said:

That's why I feel I'd probably be better off in Germany, where the language and people are blunt and upfront and literal.

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I worked for a German company once.
After leaving, I sliced open a little finger
to let all the Teutonic blood run out.