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  1. Old Scratch

    Revoltingest has passed the 100,000 post milestone!!!

    A great disturbance in My realm I sense. Fresh evil afoot is!
  2. Old Scratch

    How to sell your soul to Satan and the results

    Due to the low quality of souls lately, for admission I now charge.
  3. Old Scratch

    This Election

    Ponder retirement I might.
  4. Old Scratch

    Headlines Which Sound Like Wirey

    TURF WAR: Half-Naked Hookers Brawl on Vegas Strip! On vacation My loyal minion must be!
  5. Old Scratch

    This Election

    Around much I've not been. In your miserable human affairs I would normally meddle. Done so for many elections on multiple forums I have. But different this time was. Already owned, no souls to buy were there. No fresh evil to wrought. No new deception to instill. Nothing for Me to do. All done...
  6. Old Scratch

    About to be homeless and considering suicide.

    Au contraire! Helpful I can be to those with initiative.
  7. Old Scratch

    Windows 10....Evil Cancer

    Blame Me you should not, small green imp!
  8. Old Scratch

    Why is Satan the bad guy?

    A vast right (& left) wing conspiracy it is!
  9. Old Scratch

    Going to the Dentist

    Dentistry one of My favorite pastimes is. One distant day, some of you My patients shall be!
  10. Old Scratch

    Will Hillary's email problem be her undoing?

    Did anyone really believe that My servant would prosecution endure? Not the sharpest tool in the shed she is, but in the wrong place her heart is. My other entry in this race far more capable is, his choice of coiffure notwithstanding.
  11. Old Scratch

    Scientists on RF: sharing your expertise

    A PhD in Temptation & Corruption Sciences I have. Only a Masters degree in Torment Studies though.
  12. Old Scratch

    I've cooked breakfast for you, Old Scratch!

    Ah, yes. Valuable research you conduct! Your rendered fat from a noble virgin firstborn maiden most effective was.
  13. Old Scratch

    For the horn polishing liking I thank you!

    For the horn polishing liking I thank you!
  14. Old Scratch

    Wondered Have You, Why Two Such Candidates Afflict You?

    The Orange One's a loyal servant. He sallies forth, both loud & fervent! The other one, with suits of pant, aspires to her Lord supplant! But I, the famous Great Deceiver fears no low potential high achiever.
  15. Old Scratch

    Wondered Have You, Why Two Such Candidates Afflict You?

    In elections past, only a single minion have I for your leadership championed. But fortunate this year you are, for two of My finest shall for your domination battle! Worry you might that such success means working My fingers to the bone I am. Fear not, My loyal followers! Time I still have to...
  16. Old Scratch

    I've cooked breakfast for you, Old Scratch!

    A rich & sinful aroma hath my realm infused! Summoned by anxious & fearful mortals I've been. Weigh in I shall, but the soul tormenting business busy is. Tidy remaining tasks up first I shall, & then your doom I shall explain. And where is my little horn pollisher, @Wirey ?
  17. Old Scratch

    Satan's Furious Rage

    The universe no boundary in the sense of a barrier to Me has. And no need to escape have I. You pathetic humans such a limited & nascent knowledge of cosmology have!
  18. Old Scratch

    Let the looting and scams begin

    My heart by this travesty moved is. No need for My influence is there, when people on their own initiative the world ruin! I will only sit back, a brewski enjoy, & the lovely carnage watch. Just wait though! Soon, My minion's re-election shall even more fun upon you bestow!
  19. Old Scratch

    Happy Birthday, Old Scratch

    Young tricksters & treatsters will tot-sized pieces of sulfur receive. As Ganesha (a good friend) I shall be costumed.....
  20. Old Scratch

    Politic-O-Matic!

    One answer I slightly changed, & Rainbow Brite replaced by Genghis Khan was! Although, cute little ponies I like....BBQed!
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