2023: Predict the future

[sun rise]

Come on RF denizens, how can we not know what 2023 will be like for us individually and for the world!?

After all Comrade Dmitry Medvedev has blazed the trail for us. The article did not give 4,5 and 8 but maybe the unnumbered ones were those.

Former Russian PM’s 2023 Predictions Include a ‘Fourth Reich’ and a U.S. Civil War Resulting in Elon Musk as President

1. Oil price will rise to $150 a barrel, and gas price will top $5.000 per 1.000 cubic meters
2. The UK will rejoin the EU
3. The EU will collapse after the UK’s return; Euro will drop out of use as the former EU currency
6. War will break out between France and the Fourth Reich. Europe will be divided, Poland repartitioned in the process
7. Northern Ireland will separate from the UK and join the Republic of Ireland
9. All the largest stock markets and financial activity will leave the US and Europe and move to Asia

Medvedev also predicted a conflict between California and the rest of the country would result in the state becoming its own nation. He predicted Texas would later declare itself independent – only to sign a pact with Mexico.

He also prophesied Elon Musk would be president of… something. Musk was not born in the U.S. and is therefore not eligible to become president.

Medvedev ended his 2023 projections by declaring the world will soon use only digital currencies.

 

[sun rise]

There are some things that are obvious. @Wu Wei will long more and more and still yet more for the glorious day he retires. @Revoltingest will continue his full-bore love affair with bacon covered rusty machinery.

But to catch hold of Comrade Medvedev's oracle:

1. The House won't have a speaker until they have a barking contest between two small dogs.
2. Biden will declare the House and SCOTUS as unAmerican and send in the marines.
3. Texas and Florida will reconstitute the Confederacy.
4. California will conquer Oregon and Nevada
5. Biden will also declare he needs diversity in government and say that he's selected MTG as his running mate for 2024.
6. DeSantis and Trump will get married and run as a couple for President and VP in 2024.
7. Aliens will land and tell us that a quarantine has been declared and any ships leaving for other planets will be destroyed.
8. @Quagmire will renounce being a mod in a fiery rant, announce that he is really his monkey's uncle, buy RF and replace us all with AI chat bots.

 

[Erebus]

The press will leak the new manifestos of each UK political party. They will all simply read, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

 

[JustGeorge]

I don't know what will happen, but for all the good things, I'll thank the Gods...

And for all the bad, I'll blame @Secret Chief .

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

@JustGeorge will get out the ruler on @Secret Chief

@Revoltingest will announce he's running for funeral director

@Quagmire will be covered in a new documentary called Nature Man

@sun rise will get a Roblox account because he's convinced it's what the new generation is spending their time on

@Debater Slayer will still be making dad jokes

 

[sun rise]

@Snow White will come out as a dwarf and grow a glorious beard because all dwarfs have beards.

 

[Revoltingest]

@Snow White will become Trump's campaign
manager for the 2024 election. He'll advise
Trump to sing all of his promises in the style
of Cab Calaway.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

@lewisnotmiller will dress as a dingo and steal his own baby (something about obtaining full custody rights)

 

[Brickjectivity]

Einstein will be exposed as a fraud. We'll find out that anyone can create a nuclear bomb with a little aluminum foil and a 5volt battery. The price of 5volt batteries will skyrocket, ending the sale of all 5volt items in America.

USA will begin selling milk and fuel by the liter instead of by the gallon. Congress will do this with bipartisan support. Europe will applaud and say we have at last come out of the stone ages. Only the UK (and no one else) will find this to be funny.

A new termite will be discovered with prefers undergarments to all other materials.

Toyota will announce plans for a factory on the Moon.

McDonalds will start selling lotto tickets along with burgers.

Amazon will become a church to get tax free status.

Walmart will require customers in the store to wear a tracking headpiece.

Walgreens will charge 3.50$ for a Hershey's chocolate bar and 9$ for a Cadbury cream egg.

Samsung will include crypto mining software on all their phones and will establish an international monetary system. Microsoft will buy the system and add it to Minecraft.

A free occulus rift will be sent to every household in America.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

@Revoltingest Will appear on an episode of Cops. He's being put in the back of a police car shouting "YAARGH!!! I thought this was Ameristan! You're violating my rights! I thought this was Ameristan!"

 

[Revoltingest]

@Revoltingest Will appear on an episode of Cops. He's being put in the back of a police car shouting "YAARGH!!! I thought this was Ameristan! You're violating my rights! I thought this was Ameristan!"

Oh, I dislike that future.

 

[crossfire]

Starting this spring, the seeds will be planted for a proliferation of Indy films and other media, and by the end of the year, the corporate media giants will start to become worried about it. Some genius movies will be written in 2023, and production on them will start to gain traction in 2024.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Oh, I dislike that future.

It is okay, @Secret Chief can be your lawyer.

 

[Brickjectivity]

1. Oil price will rise to $150 a barrel, and gas price will top $5.000 per 1.000 cubic meters
2. The UK will rejoin the EU
3. The EU will collapse after the UK’s return; Euro will drop out of use as the former EU currency
6. War will break out between France and the Fourth Reich. Europe will be divided, Poland repartitioned in the process
7. Northern Ireland will separate from the UK and join the Republic of Ireland
9. All the largest stock markets and financial activity will leave the US and Europe and move to Asia

1. Don't you mean 500 centidollars?
2. Which EU?
3. If the UK rejoins this soon there will be a rupture in the time space continuum, so there will be a lot more to worry about than the Euro.
6. The Fourth Reich will be a video game, and France will win it first, closely followed by Argentina, Nairobi and Greece. They will get the best drops.
7. ...and there will be a new breakfast cereal for kids named after it.
9. At long last we won't have to listen to finance people talking bidness on their phones in the bookstore.

 

[Revoltingest]

It is okay, @Secret Chief can be your lawyer.

In the future, all lawyers will have
been converted to Soylent Green.
So you're really predicting that
he'll be my lunch.

 

[Secret Chief]

@JustGeorge will get out the ruler on @Secret Chief

Fingers crossed.

 

[Secret Chief]

I don't know what will happen, but for all the good things, I'll thank the Gods...

And for all the bad, I'll blame @Secret Chief .

Apart from the localised global warming courtesy of your good self.

 

[Secret Chief]

It is okay, @Secret Chief can be your lawyer.

Could it be any worse for him? I almost feel sorry for @Revoltingest. Almost.

 

[Revoltingest]

Could it be any worse for him?

@Quagmire's monkey as my urologist?

 

[Secret Chief]

The UK won't be rejoining the EU.