A Calling?

[Doc]

As I have mentioned elsewhere, lately, I have become disconnected with society and my peers. It is not depression I know because I have seen first hand what that is. I have simply not cared as much about the frivillous things people complain about daily. I don't get along as well with people who can only talk about what they don't have instead of what they are blessed with. I realize how much I am blessed and see no reason to complain. The financial and monetary world does not intrest me and I have no desire for wealth and petty prosperity. I don't belong in that kind of world. I also have no desire for popularity and fame. I don't even want a girlfriend right now. I just have not found one that is suitable to my strange personality. Despite my disconnection with the worldly things, I feel more and more drawn to God. I feel more mystified by Him and all things religious. I require much more time alone and sometimes my patience is low. I indulge myself in writing stories and poetry. I crave history and knowledge. I seek spiritual tranquility rather than collected money of my paper route. Is this possibly a sign or a calling from God? Am I called to some kind of Holy Orders or something of the sort? I have not thought about it much for a while? I feel like I am meant to do things beyond this material world. As if my purpose is higher than that of a slave to money and desires? All meaningless. I know my questions can only be answered by me alone, but if anyone knows of someone who has had the same experiences or if you yourself has had them, please post a reply please.

 

[Master Vigil]

I have had the same experiences yes. I know exactly how you feel. I was once felt drawn to the capuchin lifestyle. But they were afraid of me. So with more study of taoism and zen, what you are experiencing is not just a call to the priesthood. But a call to be human. A call to become simple, and one with the tao.

 

[lilithu]

I have had similar experiences. Material wealth does not interest me. What I have seems like enough and I don't understand why others who have more seem to need still more. Nor do I understand the strange contortions that my friends go through pursue romantic relationships. While I'm not against them, I do not feel the need for another person to feel complete. The only things that really interest me are knowledge and understanding; the only thing that I feel a need for is to be closer to God and to goodness.

Sometimes it does seem like a "calling." Sometimes I think I'm just a nut. But hey, I'm not hurting anyone else.

 

[Runt]

If it is a calling, I think you'd know. A calling is something that is not subtle. Instead, it is an almost irresistable urge to pursue something.

If it is not a calling it still may be a message.... It may be time for you to delve deep into yourself and learn more about yourself. It may be a call to an intellectual career or pastime. (Writing perhaps?) It may be a subtle hint from God that you need to get out more and work on the social side of your life. Or, quite frankly, it may mean nothing.

 

[lilithu]

If it is a calling, I think you'd know. A calling is something that is not subtle. Instead, it is an almost irresistable urge to pursue something.

Oh it's definately an irresistable urge. I left a career in science to pursue another degree in religious studies/theology because of it. I had recurring dreams for over a year that did not end until I made the move. What I am not sure about is whether it's a "calling" from God or just my own OCD obsession. (Or whether there is any difference.)

It may be a subtle hint from God that you need to get out more and work on the social side of your life.

lol! That's what my flatmate says. But I see all the stuff she puts herself thru to pursue a "social life" and I really don't feel it's worth it. When I am with people, I am happy to be with them. When I am not, I am content to be with my solitude.

 

[jewscout]

It may very well be a calling for you. I suggest spending some time praying and meditating on it to find the answers.

 

[lilithu]

It may very well be a calling for you. I suggest spending some time praying and meditating on it to find the answers.

How would one know that one has found the answers?

I believe with all my heart that God exists and that God loves us, because that is what I have personally experienced and I chose to believe in the validity of my personal experience rather than writing it off as some hallucinations. But beyond that I know nothing about God and can only guess at truth based on my conscience and reason.

 

[LadyRavven]

I dont think anoyone but you can tell you if it is a Calling for you But I think alot of us have been in a similar place at some time along our way. I don;t know how much time you ahve to read, or if you enjoy reading as much as i often do when I am like you are now and cant seem to find the anwser outside myself, and cant seem to find the "right" acess to the anwser that i know is somewhere just inside me, but if i could offer a book that might comfort you a little while you the struggle to find the anwsers you seek? Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse You question reminds me much of the one that he asks many times in the book and has anwsered in a variety of ways. all i will tell you is that there are many types of callings. learning to truly Live Life is one of them Not all callings are scholarlarly, or priestly, nor are they all worldly as I think Master Virgil would tell you.

 

[Lightkeeper]

Joseph Campbell spent several years in a cabin in the woods studying mythology. His family must have thought he was goofy. He became a world reknown expert on mythology, taught it in college and has written several books. I don't know if you have a calling, but I have experienced something similar. Just follow the path, it will lead you somewhere. We don't always know where we are going.

 

[Doc]

I have discovered it is not a call to Holy Orders of any kind. For I have not enough faith in one religiion. My beliefs have been collected from Catholic, Lutheran, Buddhism, and all sorts of religions. However, I believe it is more of a call to serving humanity, and not so much a church or religion. Although I wish to attend law school, I wish to study Public Intrest Law and become a Poverty Lawyer or 'Street Lawyer'. I believe the Spirit has blessed me with an oppurtunity by where I live. What better place to be a street missionary than in the concrete jungles of Cleveland. The most impoverished city in America. I have accepted the fact that this suburban home I live in is going to be the biggest I will ever reside. But I am doing this for my soul, not my wallet.

Somehow, since I was quite little I have always felt a connection between myself and the poor. My father dug himself out of poverty after highschool. I have gone to several shelter places and always want to go back again when I leave. So 3 more years in this luxurious mansion. A mansion compared to the boxes I have seen hobos living in not far from here. Like I said, it is my calling to serve humanity.

 

[michel]

PART QUOTE :lilith [Sometimes it does seem like a "calling." Sometimes I think I'm just a nut. But hey, I'm not hurting anyone else.]
Lillith, namaste.
I don't think you are a nut at all.(And I am truly hope you don't think you are either)

Doc - It seems that quite a few of us on this forum have experienced the feelings that you are; in fact I've just looked up your age, and have realized that you started a couple or so years before me on that trail.
I am not sure if there actually is something different about those who feel 'a calling'; but all I can say is that my other close three family members feel nothing of the sort. I started feeling that way a long long time ago, and it has felt pretty frustrating at times. There have been many times when I have prayed for God to tell me what he wants from me; perhaps he has 'nudged' me in the right direction once or twice. I don't know, but I think there is a message there, even if it is deep inside you. You are asking, and that is the start of your path; I hope you have an easy 'ride'.

To both you and lilith, I can only repeat what a great philosophycal friend of mine once said to me, when I said 'I must be a nut, a freak'. He asked me why, and I explained the feelings we have been talking about.
"So why a nut ?" he asked "because I am so alone, so unlike everyone else I know"- to which he replied "Perhaps, but if you lived in India or Tibet, you would find your feelings fitting in pretty well with the majority."

Enjoy yourself; as well as trying to find out what it's all about. No one says you can't have any 'playtime'.

 

[LadyRavven]

Besides....even if we are all "nuts" is that bad? Personally, I thought we were all a bunch a rare and rather special "nuts" Sometimes it is h=just hard to tell with this hard shell we keep around us all the time
I say if this is Nuts....then we should all go "nuts" at least a few times. The whole world might just become a better place
Love and Light