A typical week in the recovery with YmirGF

[YmirGF]

I've been going on and on about councilling and the various groups I am a part of, so I thought I'd spill the beans once and for all and give you an idea of what a typical week in recovery is like for me.

Monday @ 7:00 pm I attend a 12 Step meeting via zoom for an hour plus. There are about 6-12 participants.
Tuesday @ 7:00 pm I run a 12 Step review program that exhaustively examines the 12 Steps. There are 4 participants total.
Wednesday @ 7:00pm I host a zoom 12 Step meeting with about 10 - 15 participants.
Thursday From 6:00 - 9:00 pm we have "group" 150 km away, so it is a hour and a half each way. Long night.
Friday is a free day or formerly "decompression day" from the night before at group.
Saturday @ 9:00 am I host a zoom 12 step meeting with about 15 participants.
(pant, pant)
Sunday @ 7:00 pm we have an impromptu zoom "non-meeting" where we just sit and chat.

I am currently a sponsor for two men who call me regularly as a part of check-in in their recovery. (I really can't tell people what an honor that is to be a sponsor to another in recovery. It's quite humbling.)
I receive about one call from a guy in prison about every two weeks.
I receive between 0 and 6 calls PER DAY from guys just needing to talk about their issues.

I also make sure I have my own down time because all of this is emotionally exhausting. For fun, I sit on my huge deck and listen to music. (Jeff) "Beck on the Deck" has been a great relaxation treat over the summer. Likewise, I still practice Transcendental Marination, twice daily. I like to work on my lovely two acres as well. (Oy vey. You folks don't know I moved off my island paradise! Sees another thread on the horizon.)

Good thing I am retired, eh?

(Now with all the spelling mistakes corrected.)
(Mental note: Check spelling before posting.)

 

[YmirGF]

Just as a followup. Due to my conditions upon release, I was mandated to go through a government training program. I will be quite honest, if one had never had councilling, that program would have been quite brutal in that it forces the individual to confront the behaviours that led to their incarceration. Because I had had so much councilling prior to going to prison, this was a piece of cake for me when I went through the program. I did get a lot out of it, but the problem is I didn't think the questions were all that probing. The program was pretty thin gruel, but has to be because of the different education levels participants have. Some guys can barely read and write, let alone speak in well-formed sentences, and so all programs are formed around that distinct factor. (This is something I never considered before being in jail, that so many in jail are simply not very smart people. I know that sounds mean, but it is simply an observational reality.)

One of the hardest things for me was I had just begun to feel again and was busy processing all these emotions, and I didn't understand a lot of what I was going though. I didn't understand basic emotions because I was such an expert at burying them, Part of the reason I might have come across as this very non-judgmental, high-minded person, in the past on RF, is because I literally had no moral compass. I had thrown mine out. It wasn't that I was so open-minded, I simply had no boundaries and was able to slide through - undetected. I hope that makes sense.

To finish the thought above, when I got to prison, I was still in the fledgling stage of dealing with emotions. There is one brutal reality, above all others, in prison. You CANNOT show displays of emotion. That is seen as a sign of weakness and inferiority. So, thank god, I had two weeks alone in quarantine due to Covid-19 to start my "stay". Oh, just to make this even more bizarre. Being in prison can be a very emotional experience! It is an experience that you cannot show, unless you are projecting anger or other negative emotion. That's ok.

The whole point in telling you folks all this information is that what began for me as perhaps one of the most terrible days of my life, the day I was arrested, but soon began to see this as perhaps the very best day of my life. Those business-like police officers had not come to ruin my life, they had come to save my life, and now I can't thank them enough.

Does that make sense?

(at least I've learned how to get my spell-checker working now)
*sigh*

 

[JustGeorge]

The whole point in telling you folks all this information is that what began for me as perhaps one of the most terrible days of my life, the day I was arrested, but soon began to see this as perhaps the very best day of my life. Those business-like police officers had not come to ruin my life, they had come to save my life and now I can't thank them enough.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. Sometimes things that seem awful at the time help us in the end...