AA and 12 Step programs

[Riders]

I was going to put this up under Health And Healing, Im not sure it belongs but sense journals are here thought Id put it here. It says everything but the kitchen sink and Im new here.

I use to ramble a lot at beliefnet about the 12 Step meetings not sure anyone will respond here but here goes.
So my Mom was a recovering alcoholic of 34 years before she died a year ago. She raised me in AA and Alateen. I loved being raised in Alateen, I think it contributed to me being somewhat Universal.

Anyways, AA has become a lot more Christianized sense the 90s and 2000s.After I got out of the Pentecostal church and became Universal I use to get into fights sometimes with folks when I attended meetings with my Mom because she was aging.

Eventually I got past the religious fights recognized the fact that some AAers are bible thumpers some aren't.
So when those who would inappropriately invite me to church after the meetings(yes I think its wrong to do that there but their defense was because they wer'nt in the meeting at the time they have freedom of speech)

Id ignore them. But baring that I have a huge issue with the 12 Step meetings in general. I'm an obese over eater and a sex and love addict. Im addicted to men.

I've been going to SAA for a year and a half. I've skipped over and over. Just starting my sobriety again. Im starting over on the steps too. My sponser is cool.

I don't have transportation to go to SAA but I'm visiting OA right now. Something I've written about at beliefnet and wasn't able to come to a conclusion with was this.

It seems that the program teaches about hitting a bottom. Hitting a bottom as like when I watched porn with guy friends on the phone all night a few nights and almost went into the hospital. That would be a bottom, your at the bottom,your addiction is taking your life away your friends sometimes your place to live and your family for some.

Theres also another thing they say you shouldn't hang out with people at places from your past like for the alcoholic it might be bars people places and things from the past.

SO being hit bottom, some don't have any friends and avoiding folks from the past Ive noticed many people at AA thought maybe I ahd some addiction of some sort, theyd say you can come here youll never be alone youll have friends hang out with us if you have no where to go.

Its like many people in 12 step meetings who see someone walk in think they have no friends no where to go because that's how it was for them, at the bottom they had no one, so they didn't have any friends except their AA buddies now that theyre in AA.


They also believe many of them hanging out with other outside AA well that's just a way to go relapse, so AA has to be my whole life and my whole world and I don't fellowship with anyone except in AA.

The thing is if someone has to make 12 step programs their whole life in order to get sober ok. Some of them are Christians who attend churches who have Christianized versions of AA too and they've tried to get me in that and tried to get me in the frame of mind that AA should be my only friends.

Some people IMO have to do that because especially if your talking about the drug and alcohol addiction, its almost like if they don't make church and AA theyre whole world they cant get sober.

I don't really have an issue with that, but I don't like it when Christians try to convert me to their Christianized AA.

But the simple fact is that not all of us hit bottom with no friends and no family I have a family and I have my friends, mostly through my UU church associations.

I guess in the end I just feel like some people in 12 Step meetings would rather run me or someone like me out or try to get us to befriend them in 12 Step meetigns and only have friends there, but I don't think everyone is like that my Mom wasn't.

But my whole point is this. Im going to go to an OA meeting tonight for over eating.Im not there to make friends Im there for recovery.I have friends and Im not replacing my whole world with OA. I have had a few of them try to socialize with me in the past too.


I just have to not let them push me out because Ive got my whole life and frankly I don't have time to go out with and be best friends with everyone in the meeting,like I said I go out with my church,Im doing that this weekend Im busy. Im sorry but I don't have time to make the 12 steps my whole life.

Theres probably some 12 Steppers who might say well if your not gonna make it your whole life you wont get abstinent from food or sober from sex. But I have had 6 months of sobriety last year from sex and 44 pounds on my own last year though I put it back on so I have had some abstinence and some sobriety.Ive got the 12 steps and a sponser and I go to phone meetings for SAA so.

 

[The Hammer]

I was going to put this up under Health And Healing, Im not sure it belongs but sense journals are here thought Id put it here. It says everything but the kitchen sink and Im new here.

I use to ramble a lot at beliefnet about the 12 Step meetings not sure anyone will respond here but here goes.
So my Mom was a recovering alcoholic of 34 years before she died a year ago. She raised me in AA and Alateen. I loved being raised in Alateen, I think it contributed to me being somewhat Universal.

Anyways, AA has become a lot more Christianized sense the 90s and 2000s.After I got out of the Pentecostal church and became Universal I use to get into fights sometimes with folks when I attended meetings with my Mom because she was aging.

Eventually I got past the religious fights recognized the fact that some AAers are bible thumpers some aren't.
So when those who would inappropriately invite me to church after the meetings(yes I think its wrong to do that there but their defense was because they wer'nt in the meeting at the time they have freedom of speech)

Id ignore them. But baring that I have a huge issue with the 12 Step meetings in general. I'm an obese over eater and a sex and love addict. Im addicted to men.

I've been going to SAA for a year and a half. I've skipped over and over. Just starting my sobriety again. Im starting over on the steps too. My sponser is cool.

I don't have transportation to go to SAA but I'm visiting OA right now. Something I've written about at beliefnet and wasn't able to come to a conclusion with was this.

It seems that the program teaches about hitting a bottom. Hitting a bottom as like when I watched porn with guy friends on the phone all night a few nights and almost went into the hospital. That would be a bottom, your at the bottom,your addiction is taking your life away your friends sometimes your place to live and your family for some.

Theres also another thing they say you shouldn't hang out with people at places from your past like for the alcoholic it might be bars people places and things from the past.

SO being hit bottom, some don't have any friends and avoiding folks from the past Ive noticed many people at AA thought maybe I ahd some addiction of some sort, theyd say you can come here youll never be alone youll have friends hang out with us if you have no where to go.

Its like many people in 12 step meetings who see someone walk in think they have no friends no where to go because that's how it was for them, at the bottom they had no one, so they didn't have any friends except their AA buddies now that theyre in AA.


They also believe many of them hanging out with other outside AA well that's just a way to go relapse, so AA has to be my whole life and my whole world and I don't fellowship with anyone except in AA.

The thing is if someone has to make 12 step programs their whole life in order to get sober ok. Some of them are Christians who attend churches who have Christianized versions of AA too and they've tried to get me in that and tried to get me in the frame of mind that AA should be my only friends.

Some people IMO have to do that because especially if your talking about the drug and alcohol addiction, its almost like if they don't make church and AA theyre whole world they cant get sober.

I don't really have an issue with that, but I don't like it when Christians try to convert me to their Christianized AA.

But the simple fact is that not all of us hit bottom with no friends and no family I have a family and I have my friends, mostly through my UU church associations.

I guess in the end I just feel like some people in 12 Step meetings would rather run me or someone like me out or try to get us to befriend them in 12 Step meetigns and only have friends there, but I don't think everyone is like that my Mom wasn't.

But my whole point is this. Im going to go to an OA meeting tonight for over eating.Im not there to make friends Im there for recovery.I have friends and Im not replacing my whole world with OA. I have had a few of them try to socialize with me in the past too.


I just have to not let them push me out because Ive got my whole life and frankly I don't have time to go out with and be best friends with everyone in the meeting,like I said I go out with my church,Im doing that this weekend Im busy. Im sorry but I don't have time to make the 12 steps my whole life.

Theres probably some 12 Steppers who might say well if your not gonna make it your whole life you wont get abstinent from food or sober from sex. But I have had 6 months of sobriety last year from sex and 44 pounds on my own last year though I put it back on so I have had some abstinence and some sobriety.Ive got the 12 steps and a sponser and I go to phone meetings for SAA so.

The beauty of the 12 step programs out there, is that it can be adapted to many different addictions, and that there really isn't "one way" to work the steps or the program, as long as you are actively working on your sobriety.

I am a recovering alcoholic and for the first 9 months of my sobriety, AA was an absolute necessity. I have kind of grown away from it the longer I stay sober and I know many people say that that is a warning sign of relapse, but it comes down to knowing the self. Knowing your triggers, and knowing what works to keep you on the path to sobriety, and when those aren't working, having supportive people to call, or a place to go like AA. I maybe go to one meeting every couple months now, but I am still 1 year 10 months sober.

As for being pulled into the "Christian mentality" that many members have, I just avoid those people and do the steps in my own way, usually without a sponsor. I use 2 different Pagan versions of the steps to help me. Remember what the biggest thing they teach there is: Keep what works and leave the rest. That can people, methods of staying sober, or any number of things.

 

[Riders]

Thankyou ! Do you have the name of those books with the Paganized 12 Steps?Its nice to talk to other Pagans in the program.

 

[Riders]

Well Im about to go back to my Moms AA meeting for birthday night once a month. I still havnt made it out to OA. Alot of times I just don't speak up for myself and get run over with others preaching at me.

The next time they suggest I have no friends and need them to support me and be my best friends; Im going to notify them of the fact that I have a loving church where I have many friends.

When they invite me to their church Ill do the same and let them know I have a church,maybe I should ask them if they want to attend my church?

 

[Riders]

Well I now have 13 weeks of sobriety from sex addiction and have been on a healthy food plan for 2 weeks, Ive lost 25 pounds which is good. I'm having some physical issues with feet and knee so not getting out as much. I do have a guy friend who comes to spend time with me a couple of times a month we watch tv movies eat out and drink. Hes got aspergers has a hard time making friends, his name is John we met 6 years ago at my UU church.We do make out kiss hug hold hands but I cant be sexual with my addiction but he enjoys it never the lessm he doesn't always get loved finding a girl friend for someone with aspergers is hard. So even if I lsoe a lot of weight I may just stay with John were happy with each other in our friendship so.

 

[Riders]

Ive got 19 weeks and 3 days of sobriety from my porn addiction.Going to Cosmic Café for the Zen and Sufi readings has helped me a lot, we read from Rumi a lot.

A guy named Brant at the Cosmic Café is leader of an eating disorders group,invited me to go for my over eating.

I may go there or I may go to OA not sure yet. I do want to be in a support group for my obesity though.

Thinking about visiting Unity church not sure yet.

 

[Riders]

Well the whole point of AA is that your at a self help group with others just like you going through the same trials. I think it works for self help for addictions.

But the statement about being in a church to do the Celebrate Recovery for my addiction uses this premises. Go to a church that understands you and is accepting of you being an addict and get help through the step program that is Christ Christian oriented.
The nondenominational church says the same thing to me, a lot of alcoholics belong there and they have a group. They say to me theyre accepting because they have many alcoholics there and you can wear jeans and shorts and tshirts .Their laidback about what you wear to church.
I think this. Ive had so many churches shove down the idea of go because there are women with your addictions and issues down my throat so much I'm no longer interested in even going somewhere where everyones just like me.

I'm sick, I don't feel comfortable with seeking out others exactly like me at church,I like variety,Im universal, I like others who aren't like me.
In my meditation group theyre all thin and skinny and fit and healthy so. Definitly different then me but I appreciate it.

Its an assumption that addicts want to be in that environment just to be with other addicts.

I don't even like to wear jeans and shorts to church, I wear dresses put my hair up in a bun on top of my head and get decked out.
I don't want my church to know what my addiction is. I asked another woman in my SAA program about this she said she was offered the same thing by Celebrate Recovery.


She said "I don't want to be accepted as an addict by my church,I keep the 2 separate, church is a holy sacred place in my heart I would not feel comfortable with that at all.

As far as dress goes I don't wear jeans and shorts to church I have no interest in that I dress up for church."

So I basically agree with that.

 

[Riders]

I was going to put this up under Health And Healing, Im not sure it belongs but sense journals are here thought Id put it here. It says everything but the kitchen sink and Im new here.

I use to ramble a lot at beliefnet about the 12 Step meetings not sure anyone will respond here but here goes.
So my Mom was a recovering alcoholic of 34 years before she died a year ago. She raised me in AA and Alateen. I loved being raised in Alateen, I think it contributed to me being somewhat Universal.

Anyways, AA has become a lot more Christianized sense the 90s and 2000s.After I got out of the Pentecostal church and became Universal I use to get into fights sometimes with folks when I attended meetings with my Mom because she was aging.

Eventually I got past the religious fights recognized the fact that some AAers are bible thumpers some aren't.
So when those who would inappropriately invite me to church after the meetings(yes I think its wrong to do that there but their defense was because they wer'nt in the meeting at the time they have freedom of speech)

Id ignore them. But baring that I have a huge issue with the 12 Step meetings in general. I'm an obese over eater and a sex and love addict. Im addicted to men.

I've been going to SAA for a year and a half. I've skipped over and over. Just starting my sobriety again. Im starting over on the steps too. My sponser is cool.

I don't have transportation to go to SAA but I'm visiting OA right now. Something I've written about at beliefnet and wasn't able to come to a conclusion with was this.

It seems that the program teaches about hitting a bottom. Hitting a bottom as like when I watched porn with guy friends on the phone all night a few nights and almost went into the hospital. That would be a bottom, your at the bottom,your addiction is taking your life away your friends sometimes your place to live and your family for some.

Theres also another thing they say you shouldn't hang out with people at places from your past like for the alcoholic it might be bars people places and things from the past.

SO being hit bottom, some don't have any friends and avoiding folks from the past Ive noticed many people at AA thought maybe I ahd some addiction of some sort, theyd say you can come here youll never be alone youll have friends hang out with us if you have no where to go.

Its like many people in 12 step meetings who see someone walk in think they have no friends no where to go because that's how it was for them, at the bottom they had no one, so they didn't have any friends except their AA buddies now that theyre in AA.


They also believe many of them hanging out with other outside AA well that's just a way to go relapse, so AA has to be my whole life and my whole world and I don't fellowship with anyone except in AA.

The thing is if someone has to make 12 step programs their whole life in order to get sober ok. Some of them are Christians who attend churches who have Christianized versions of AA too and they've tried to get me in that and tried to get me in the frame of mind that AA should be my only friends.

Some people IMO have to do that because especially if your talking about the drug and alcohol addiction, its almost like if they don't make church and AA theyre whole world they cant get sober.

I don't really have an issue with that, but I don't like it when Christians try to convert me to their Christianized AA.

But the simple fact is that not all of us hit bottom with no friends and no family I have a family and I have my friends, mostly through my UU church associations.

I guess in the end I just feel like some people in 12 Step meetings would rather run me or someone like me out or try to get us to befriend them in 12 Step meetigns and only have friends there, but I don't think everyone is like that my Mom wasn't.

But my whole point is this. Im going to go to an OA meeting tonight for over eating.Im not there to make friends Im there for recovery.I have friends and Im not replacing my whole world with OA. I have had a few of them try to socialize with me in the past too.


I just have to not let them push me out because Ive got my whole life and frankly I don't have time to go out with and be best friends with everyone in the meeting,like I said I go out with my church,Im doing that this weekend Im busy. Im sorry but I don't have time to make the 12 steps my whole life.

Theres probably some 12 Steppers who might say well if your not gonna make it your whole life you wont get abstinent from food or sober from sex. But I have had 6 months of sobriety last year from sex and 44 pounds on my own last year though I put it back on so I have had some abstinence and some sobriety.Ive got the 12 steps and a sponser and I go to phone meetings for SAA so.

So I'm going to get my machine looked at tomarrow. I have a wound caused by obesity made worse by my hernia and I have had strep throat twice in the past 2 months and it lasts about 10 days each time.

Man talk about having a nervous break down over physical issues.

My doctor is preaching at me about my weight , me being so obese, talking to me about getting down to a size so I can get hernia out.

I'm sure some people think I ought to have the operation but it scares me and I'm still hyped enough to go back to my diet. I have a wound vacuum tied to my wound yuck I have to carry it around everywhere.

Its so annoying I see my wound docter tomarrow.

Hes from India, hes Indian. I don't know what it is about me and Indian men.
But Ive always been attracted to foreign men, well I like the dark hair and dark skin and romantic accents yay!

I love Indian men and Asian men because in part I like the religions there that are predominant.
But it doesn't mean the men I meet will be from those religions because lots of other religions there too.

Who knows maybe they lose their religion when they come to America.

ANyways and my sister chimed in embarrassing me about my weight telling the doctor to chime in and tell me what to do, she preaches at me about my weight.

ANyways, Ive had a crush on this doctor but because of my sex addiction I don't allow stuff like that to last too much.

I was just getting over it and my sister said "Shes all alone in that great big hosue and shes never been married and shes terribly lonely so that's why she eats."

In the first place its snot true Ive made a lot of friends this year. But I said" Thankyou for giving out my personal info to the Doctor, I may not be so lonely how would you know"

The doctor and nurse laughed but the thing is hes a man a goodlooking Doctor whos married I grant you but I don't really know him from Adam and eve.

He could be a swinger for all I know, having affairs lots of married doctors out there do I imagine,
Anyways my other sister taking me tomarrow. Hopfully he will have forgotten it.

Yikes my sister tells a strange Doctor about me being desperate and lonely for crying outloud!