Alien spreads the love

[JIMMY12345]

Dear Earthling,

I am an intelligent being from another planet, whose sole purpose in life is to have sex with every other life form I come in contact with.

To fulfil my task, I have the ability to change my shape and form. This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding. At this very moment, I am having a fantastic sexual experience with your fingertips. I know that you are enjoying this because of the smile on your face.

After you have been sexually fulfilled. Please give me to someone else, so that I may carry on with my joyful task and bring love to the entire universe.

Thanks so much. You’re so good!!

Alien

PS I am bisexual

 

[Wirey]

How you doin'?

 

[SalixIncendium]

This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding.

On this planet, we call this item a mobile phone (or a computer keyboard; check local listings).

 

[Stevicus]

Dear Earthling,

I am an intelligent being from another planet, whose sole purpose in life is to have sex with every other life form I come in contact with.

To fulfil my task, I have the ability to change my shape and form. This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding. At this very moment, I am having a fantastic sexual experience with your fingertips. I know that you are enjoying this because of the smile on your face.

After you have been sexually fulfilled. Please give me to someone else, so that I may carry on with my joyful task and bring love to the entire universe.

Thanks so much. You’re so good!!

Alien

PS I am bisexual

Sheet of paper?

 

[Twilight Hue]

Dear Earthling,

I am an intelligent being from another planet, whose sole purpose in life is to have sex with every other life form I come in contact with.

To fulfil my task, I have the ability to change my shape and form. This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding. At this very moment, I am having a fantastic sexual experience with your fingertips. I know that you are enjoying this because of the smile on your face.

After you have been sexually fulfilled. Please give me to someone else, so that I may carry on with my joyful task and bring love to the entire universe.

Thanks so much. You’re so good!!

Alien

PS I am bisexual

Make sure your sensor ring is properly charged.

 

[mangalavara]

On this planet, we call this item a mobile phone (or a computer keyboard; check local listings).

‘Shhh.. Just let it happen.’

 

[Revoltingest]

 

[Revoltingest]

Dear Earthling,

I am an intelligent being from another planet, whose sole purpose in life is to have sex with every other life form I come in contact with.

To fulfil my task, I have the ability to change my shape and form. This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding. At this very moment, I am having a fantastic sexual experience with your fingertips. I know that you are enjoying this because of the smile on your face.

After you have been sexually fulfilled. Please give me to someone else, so that I may carry on with my joyful task and bring love to the entire universe.

Thanks so much. You’re so good!!

Alien

PS I am bisexual

Which model Probulator do you favor?
The 3000?
Lube choice....if any?

 

[Wirey]

Which model Probulator do you favor?
The 3000?
Lube choice....if any?

Pfffttttt! No one uses the 3000 anymore! No sandpaper reservoir!

 

[Revoltingest]

Pfffttttt! No one uses the 3000 anymore! No sandpaper reservoir!

But the 4000 & 4000 SS have had problems
with leakage, spraying contents of the enteron
all over the operators. And no cup holder!

 

[Stonetree]

But the 4000 & 4000 SS have had problems
with leakage, spraying contents of the enteron
all over the operators. And no cup holder!

You can get thrown off a bus for cup-holding!

 

[Revoltingest]

You can get thrown off a bus for cup-holding!

But it's perfectly appropriate when
operating a Probulator. Where else do
you put the sploojing jelly, anyway, eh.

 

[Stonetree]

But it's perfectly appropriate when
operating a Probulator. Where else do
you put the sploojing jelly, anyway, eh.

Not even Wikipedia helps when trying to understand a Revoltistanian

 

[Revoltingest]

Not even Wikipedia helps when trying to understand a Revoltistanian

That is by design.

 

[McBell]

And no cup holder!

That is the deal breaker.
The cheap ba*****!

 

[Stonetree]

That is the deal breaker.
The cheap ba*****!

Yeah....let's git a rope en lynch 'em..buzzard ba*****!

 

[Stonetree]

Dear Earthling,

I am an intelligent being from another planet, whose sole purpose in life is to have sex with every other life form I come in contact with.

To fulfil my task, I have the ability to change my shape and form. This is why I have transformed myself into this sheet of paper that you are holding. At this very moment, I am having a fantastic sexual experience with your fingertips. I know that you are enjoying this because of the smile on your face.

After you have been sexually fulfilled. Please give me to someone else, so that I may carry on with my joyful task and bring love to the entire universe.

Thanks so much. You’re so good!!

Alien

PS I am bisexual

What's your sign?

 

[Secret Chief]

Sheet of paper?

English not their first language?

 

[Viker]

Nano nano!