American jokes

[Mr Spinkles]

I went to England once, and asked people if they knew any "American jokes". I had never heard any. Here is what someone told me:

Q: What's the difference between America and a pot of yogurt?







Ans: After 200 years, the pot of yogurt will grow a culture!


:lol: My friends and I thought that was hilarious. I want to hear more American jokes! Anyone?

 

[tumble_weed]

crap, that's funny

I have none.

 

[Ceridwen018]

Heh, heh, I've got a couple:

Q: How can an American be certain that the car he's just bought is actually new?
A: When it's recalled by the factory.

You might be an American...
if you think that "European" refers to London, Paris, and Montreal... OR all of your hats and T-shirts have logoes on them... OR you own more sneakers than any other kinds of shoes... OR if you think ketchup is a spice.

What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
"Multilingual"
What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
"Bilingual"
What do you call someone who speaks one language?
"An American"

 

[trishtrish10]

what's the difference between america and europe?
everyone likes europe, except for americans

what's the difference between las vegas and monaco?
most american's aren't aware.

 

[trishtrish10]

why are americans numbers and not names? they are number one

 

[trishtrish10]

or a derivative: why is there only one american? they are number one.

 

[Melody]

<<Ans: After 200 years, the pot of yogurt will grow a culture!>>

This one caught me unawares. Excellent!

Melody

 

[trishtrish10]

trish, perhaps you missed the a word in the title of the thread, it's called American JOKES. Please stay on topic. --Maize

 

[Melody]

<<americans think they rule the world, but only them.

then they wonder why no one likes americans>>

Wrong thread for this, but it's not "americans" who think they rule the world...it's the American government. A countries government does not necessarily represent the views of the inhabitants.



Melody

 

[trishtrish10]

i'm an american

 

[anders]

Out of my files of American jokes, I'll just select the worst one:

Bush