An update

[VoidCat]

So y'all remember this thread?
I am mad
Im tagging @The Hammer and @JustGeorge cuz I remember them two commenting and I liked their comments and since they my friends im tagging them. I'm also tagging @Shadow Wolf and @Guitar's Cry cuz ive spoken about this with them

Short rundown of what happened in case someone doesn't want to go to said thread: Staff at the group home told me I couldn't wear a shirt that says I'm a Ray of ****ing sunshine. I was mad for a variety of reasons one cuz im an adult and don't like being treated like a child and two cuz I don't like a rule just being put on me that no one explained before about something no one had a problem with prior. I would've just been fine not wearing the shirt if they gave me reasons for said rule and told me when I got to this group home that there was a dress code. That's what I was thinking.


Heres the update: Someone somewhere lied and made a rule that didn't exist. I don't know if it was the supervisor or the director. The director was supposed to get me in touch with her supervisor. She never did. So. I complained about the incident with another staff member who was confused by this. She said according to her training that she got from Monarch that they are not allowed to tell us what we can or cannot wear. So she had me tell the incident to a staff member who'd been working longer. Said staff member was just as confused and said she'll check with the supervisor. I don't know if this is the supervisor that the director was going to have me talk to but from my understanding it's the supervisor of all the group homes under Monarch in this area. And low and behold the staff members are not allowed to tell me what I can and cannot wear there is no dresscode as long as im not running around naked.

So I'm mad that someone lied and made up a rule that isn't actually a rule. Im for sure now going to be wearing that shirt from time to time. I would've been fine following it had it actually been a rule and someone gave me a good reason for that rule but now I'm not doing that.

 

[VoidCat]

I dont even know why the director never got me in touch with her supervisor like she said she would. So now I don't know if she or her supervisor was lying.

 

[Aštra’el]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

 

[VoidCat]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

All I wanted was an explanation for said rule. Instead I found out someone lied. I'll gladly respect the rules. So long as I know why they are in place. And that they are actually rules and not ones someone made up and lied about.

 

[JustGeorge]

Sorry to hear someone lied to you like that. It did sound fishy...

 

[VoidCat]

Sorry to hear someone lied to you like that. It did sound fishy...

I remember telling you in the PMs about the staff member telling me that she was confused by it and that a supervisor had been contacted. It wasn't fishy until then and like im not even mad that they didn't want me to wear said shirt. Im mad that I was lied to. It now is going to make me question every new rule they give me since this isnt the first time they've sprung a rule on us residents that wasn't a rule before.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

So y'all remember this thread?
I am mad
Im tagging @The Hammer and @JustGeorge cuz I remember them two commenting and I liked their comments and since they my friends im tagging them. I'm also tagging @Shadow Wolf and @Guitar's Cry cuz ive spoken about this with them

Short rundown of what happened in case someone doesn't want to go to said thread: Staff at the group home told me I couldn't wear a shirt that says I'm a Ray of ****ing sunshine. I was mad for a variety of reasons one cuz im an adult and don't like being treated like a child and two cuz I don't like a rule just being put on me that no one explained before about something no one had a problem with prior. I would've just been fine not wearing the shirt if they gave me reasons for said rule and told me when I got to this group home that there was a dress code. That's what I was thinking.


Heres the update: Someone somewhere lied and made a rule that didn't exist. I don't know if it was the supervisor or the director. The director was supposed to get me in touch with her supervisor. She never did. So. I complained about the incident with another staff member who was confused by this. She said according to her training that she got from Monarch that they are not allowed to tell us what we can or cannot wear. So she had me tell the incident to a staff member who'd been working longer. Said staff member was just as confused and said she'll check with the supervisor. I don't know if this is the supervisor that the director was going to have me talk to but from my understanding it's the supervisor of all the group homes under Monarch in this area. And low and behold the staff members are not allowed to tell me what I can and cannot wear there is no dresscode as long as im not running around naked.

So I'm mad that someone lied and made up a rule that isn't actually a rule. Im for sure now going to be wearing that shirt from time to time. I would've been fine following it had it actually been a rule and someone gave me a good reason for that rule but now I'm not doing that.

I am glad you are advocating for yourself and defending your right to wear something that's meaningful to you.

 

[VoidCat]

I am glad you are advocating for yourself and defending your right to wear something that's meaningful to you.

Advocating is a good thing. I've learnt I have to do that often especially as someone with a disability. Folk have a tendency to try to speak over me

 

[Guitar's Cry]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

Sounds as if Ray was simply advocating for themself and it was the staff member (a professional) that didn't earn the trust. Hopefully this staff member will be able to repair the relationship.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

In this case, I'd probably forgive the person if you can, and just hold out hope that they got a 'talking to' from the higher-ups on correct policy. On occasion, not always - poor situations can work themselves out on their own - karma sometimes plays out.

 

[VoidCat]

In this case, I'd probably forgive the person if you can, and just hold out hope that they got a 'talking to' from the higher-ups on correct policy. On occasion, not always - poor situations can work themselves out on their own - karma sometimes plays out.

Eh in December I'll be having my goals changed to moving out the group home and into a special type of housing for disabled folk. So it dont matter much if I forgive or not

 

[VoidCat]

Sounds as if Ray was simply advocating for themself

I just wanted to say this is the first time in a long time someone's used my correct pronouns. I have been feeling dysphoric most of today so I just want to say thank you reading this made me happy.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

So I'm mad that someone lied and made up a rule that isn't actually a rule. Im for sure now going to be wearing that shirt from time to time. I would've been fine following it had it actually been a rule and someone gave me a good reason for that rule but now I'm not doing that.

I'd buy one copy of that shirt for each day of the week.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

Blindly following rules that don't even exist, wasn't a problem before, and tucking your tail and giving up instead of fighting to right a wrong you've been dealt?
I hope Ray never takes to that.

 

[VoidCat]

I'd buy one copy of that shirt for each day of the week.

Now im tempted to look online and get more shirts with swear words lol

 

[Bathos Logos]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

This is demonstrably untrue. It was learned that there is no such rule prohibiting the shirt in the first place, and that it was only a a particular person's discomfort on the line - a person who probably couldn't give adequate justification for why a such a rule should exist in the first place, and isn't even worthy of respect if their actions in this case are the only thing to go by, because they were willing to lie to get their way. There's plenty of learning all up in that. You making hyperbolic statements like the above, all while somehow thinking you're on a mission to save the world one community at a time is comical.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

And wearing the shirt proves, definitively that the wearer isn't worthy of earning trust or love of those living under the same roof in your estimation? Does the shirt say anything about what the wearer thinks of their fellow humans? No? Huh... interesting. Best go back to square one then I think.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

A lesson you're assuming here must necessarily be "accepted". Your assumption is noted.

 

[JDMS]

So… you’ve learned nothing.

There may come a day when you realize it was better to earn the trust and love and respect of those living under the same roof. Even when it means withholding some part of yourself that is better directed or expressed elsewhere.

It is a lesson I once found difficult to accept myself.

Your "lesson" sucks, frankly.

The people around OP lied to them first, so why would OP go out of their way to earn their trust, when they are the ones who need to earn back Ray's trust?

Ray, I hope you wear your ****ing shirt proudly, and enjoy every minute of it. Also, good on you for speaking up.

 

[VoidCat]

Ray, I hope you wear your ****ing shirt proudly, and enjoy every minute of it. Also, good on you for speaking up.

Gladly

Spoiler: Profanity

Edit: (mods I hope this is allowed. I know music with cuss words is with a spoiler. This is no different but if it's not allowed y'all free to delete)

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Now im tempted to look online and get more shirts with swear words lol

Gladly doing my service of rebellion and forcing company policy updates, with all the same zeal and vigor I've had since the 80s and telling my mom no.

 

[VoidCat]

I'd buy one copy of that shirt for each day of the week.

(Joking)
Wait thinking more on this SW you have it all wrong. You buy 9 not just one for each day of the week. Then you can have 7 of them in the laundry basket to be washed, while you wear the 8th one. And the 9th one you give to the liar in question as a gift!