Any insight as to why I do this?

[Spiderman]

One of the more traumatic events of mine as a kid was when my best friend jumped off a balcony and wound up quadriplegic.

In fact, it was a lot more traumatic than if he would have gotten tortured to death right in front of me.

The reason it is so traumatic, is he has to live a minimum of a decade I figured, with bed sores, needing to be spoon fed, needing his depends to be changed, and needing to be cleaned.

He also had a halo screwd into his skull and the nurse was poking his neck and chest to see where he could feel anything, and in agony and tears, he just kept saying in despair "no".

For some reason I have gone through some traumatic stuff , but that sticks out as being more disturbing than meeting the murderers I've met, or enduring some of the abuse I have.

I only hope and pray his ordeal is over (out of compassion) by now, because to be just a head, unable to move below the neck ( to me) sounds like unbearable torture worse than death ( 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

I only saw him the night it happened in the ER.

But ever since then I feel the need each day to take a moment of silence and remember that some completely healthy young man or woman was hit by a drunk driver or had some accidental injury or gunshot wound that left them paralyzed from the neck down, and recall the pain they have of knowing they will wait the rest of their lives for death to bring some relief to that state of agony.

Christopher Reeves actually wanted to live like that over death, but for those who prefer death, I don't see why not make it legal to give them a very comfortable painless entry into a purely spiritual state.

But my question for myself is, " why do I feel the need to consider each day that a bunch of people went quadriplegic and are having to adjust to that misery?"

"Is it to develop a sense of gratitude? Is it to be pissed at God for allowing it? Is it to intercede for them? Is it to grow in compassion? Is it to be cognizant of how fragile this body is and what could happen at any given moment? Is it all of the above? Is it none of the above?"

What is your assessment or thoughts? It sometimes makes me less of a jerk or less arrogant and cocky to focus on such things. It can make me more grateful. But it does harm my trust in God's providence , and produces a type of despair sometimes.

Another thing I think about each day is all the suicides and how they must feel before they take their own lives, and how bad it feels to survive an attempt.

I'd say it's compassionate to enter into the pain of others, but not sure why I keep doing it, as it doesn't clearly accomplish much. My conscience keeps telling me to do so, so I follow it without really questioning it too much.

Maybe you can enlighten me. God bless.

 

[Spiderman]

I think almost everyone has experienced something deeply disturbing or depressing.

You'd be surprised. Ironically some of the happy go lucky comedian types or those who seem to make a joke of everything, are some of the people who have suffered the most and had the most trauma, or more than usual, let's just put it that way.

Look at how many alcoholics and drug addicts are all jokes, giggles, laughter, dancing, comedians, and fun and games , then dead of overdoses like Belushi or Chris Farley or suicides like Robin Williams.

Look at how many responsible people are serious all the time and hardly ever smile.

 

[Sirona]

@Spiderman Sitting down and thinking about why you empathize the people you empathize with usually tells you something about yourself.

As a kid, I had to go to a boarding school against my will. It was for health reasons and there was no other option but I felt "dumped" and "abandoned" there. That's why I write to prisoners, death row inmates, because it gives me a feeling that I can bring a little light to people who are locked in a place they can't leave, who are "abandoned" like I felt "abandoned" then.

That you empathize with paralyzed people might signify that their bodies are their "options" and "ways to act" (which they don't have, physically), so it might say that you feel "stuck" and "paralyzed" in your life, metaphorically, like in a paralyzed body. Or maybe you are afraid of physical damage. A once well-known 1980s actor claimed to volunteer for handicapped people and featured them in his TV series. He was said to be extremely good-looking, so I think being physically impaired and "ugly" was probably the biggest horror he could harbour.

 

[RestlessSoul]

It’s good to have empathy, and compassion. It’s good to not be oblivious to the suffering of others. But if you find yourself dwelling on these things to the point where it robs you of your own peace of mind, that clearly isn’t such a good thing. No mortal man can carry all the suffering of the world on his back.

 

[rocala]

Sorry, I have no idea why it happens, but certain cases just stick with you. When I was a small child I sometimes heard my mother talking about a friend's daughter. This little girl had some sort of brain deterioration. She could no longer stand, then she went deaf and blind. She cried a great deal due to intestinal pain. She eventually died.

I used to cry myself to sleep thinking about her and I have never forgotten her, although we never met. That was nearly sixty years ago. It is quite possible that I am the only person in this world that knows of her short, tragic existence. I think of her often and feel that sadness.

 

[ChristineM]

@Spiderman

You do it because you care... dont ever let let that go and don't ever let it get you down

 

[Dave Watchman]

jumped off a balcony

You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as Paul said to do.

I'm prone to the same thing when I'm sitting around doing nothing. Usually in the cold of winter.

I was watching all these crime videos. This 18 year old girl in Washington State. She was beat up all day by a gang while they did drugs. They discussed what to do with her while she was tied up in a sleeping bag. One guy mentioned putting her in a motel for a week to heal up then let her go. The leader of the gang said no. They had to get rid of her.

They all packed into a jeep and drove her out to the woods. They gave her a shovel and made her dig a grave. Then they made her take her clothes off and kneel down in the hole face down. She asked if she could have a minute to pray to Jesus. The gang leader said don't worry, she'll see Him in person in just a minute. He began to fire his gun into her back, but after one shot the gun jammed. He fiddled with the mechanism for a bit, then continued to empty the clip into her body. I bet it was scary, after that first shot, I doubt her death was immediate.

I forgot about Christopher Reeves. I did a google on him. His horse did a refusal. He made other more serious jumps. But on approach to the easier one the horse stopped abruptly, Reeves hands were tangled in the reins, and he went head first over the horse and the fence.

I was out working on an old car to get it moved out of the way so a tree can be cut. The Asian Beetles are killing the Ash Trees in my neck of the woods. The rotors on the car are so rusted that they have swollen and forced the pads back into the front calipers on both sides. It's like they're welded into one piece. Moth and rust doth corrupt. I needed to hammer and power chisel them off. So I banged my thumb. So I got to find an easy job now so my thumb can have a chance to heal.

Otherwise I'd still be out there doing something, Christopher Reeves wouldn't be crossing my mind.

Remember that guy from the British Isles who put peanut butter on his genitals.

Then the dog bit off his penis and testicles?

What a stooge. I wonder if he will be greater than David Carradine in the Kingdom of Heaven?

There's too much going on, you can't agonize over everything all the time.

"Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.​

Sherlock Holmes The Spider Woman, Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce

 

[Spiderman]

You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as Paul said to do.

I'm prone to the same thing when I'm sitting around doing nothing. Usually in the cold of winter.

I was watching all these crime videos. This 18 year old girl in Washington State. She was beat up all day by a gang while they did drugs. They discussed what to do with her while she was tied up in a sleeping bag. One guy mentioned putting her in a motel for a week to heal up then let her go. The leader of the gang said no. They had to get rid of her.

They all packed into a jeep and drove her out to the woods. They gave her a shovel and made her dig a grave. Then they made her take her clothes off and kneel down in the hole face down. She asked if she could have a minute to pray to Jesus. The gang leader said don't worry, she'll see Him in person in just a minute. He began to fire his gun into her back, but after one shot the gun jammed. He fiddled with the mechanism for a bit, then continued to empty the clip into her body. I bet it was scary, after that first shot, I doubt her death was immediate.

I forgot about Christopher Reeves. I did a google on him. His horse did a refusal. He made other more serious jumps. But on approach to the easier one the horse stopped abruptly, Reeves hands were tangled in the reins, and he went head first over the horse and the fence.

I was out working on an old car to get it moved out of the way so a tree can be cut. The Asian Beetles are killing the Ash Trees in my neck of the woods. The rotors on the car are so rusted that they have swollen and forced the pads back into the front calipers on both sides. It's like they're welded into one piece. Moth and rust doth corrupt. I needed to hammer and power chisel them off. So I banged my thumb. So I got to find an easy job now so my thumb can have a chance to heal.

Otherwise I'd still be out there doing something, Christopher Reeves wouldn't be crossing my mind.

Remember that guy from the British Isles who put peanut butter on his genitals.

Then the dog bit off his penis and testicles?

What a stooge. I wonder if he will be greater than David Carradine in the Kingdom of Heaven?

There's too much going on, you can't agonize over everything all the time.

"Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.​

Sherlock Holmes The Spider Woman, Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce

What was the name of the girl who had to dig her grave from Washington. I want to add her to the Capitol Hill Queens I pray to and honor.

 

[Spiderman]

You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as Paul said to do.

I'm prone to the same thing when I'm sitting around doing nothing. Usually in the cold of winter.

I was watching all these crime videos. This 18 year old girl in Washington State. She was beat up all day by a gang while they did drugs. They discussed what to do with her while she was tied up in a sleeping bag. One guy mentioned putting her in a motel for a week to heal up then let her go. The leader of the gang said no. They had to get rid of her.

They all packed into a jeep and drove her out to the woods. They gave her a shovel and made her dig a grave. Then they made her take her clothes off and kneel down in the hole face down. She asked if she could have a minute to pray to Jesus. The gang leader said don't worry, she'll see Him in person in just a minute. He began to fire his gun into her back, but after one shot the gun jammed. He fiddled with the mechanism for a bit, then continued to empty the clip into her body. I bet it was scary, after that first shot, I doubt her death was immediate.

I forgot about Christopher Reeves. I did a google on him. His horse did a refusal. He made other more serious jumps. But on approach to the easier one the horse stopped abruptly, Reeves hands were tangled in the reins, and he went head first over the horse and the fence.

I was out working on an old car to get it moved out of the way so a tree can be cut. The Asian Beetles are killing the Ash Trees in my neck of the woods. The rotors on the car are so rusted that they have swollen and forced the pads back into the front calipers on both sides. It's like they're welded into one piece. Moth and rust doth corrupt. I needed to hammer and power chisel them off. So I banged my thumb. So I got to find an easy job now so my thumb can have a chance to heal.

Otherwise I'd still be out there doing something, Christopher Reeves wouldn't be crossing my mind.

Remember that guy from the British Isles who put peanut butter on his genitals.

Then the dog bit off his penis and testicles?

What a stooge. I wonder if he will be greater than David Carradine in the Kingdom of Heaven?

There's too much going on, you can't agonize over everything all the time.

"Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.​

Sherlock Holmes The Spider Woman, Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce

Also, I work remodeling. I do find that work has pros and cons. I tend to grow more intellectually when studying and feel more stupid after hours of work.

Like the stereotypical mechanic with plumbers crack who laughs at his own farts or something. I don't laugh at my own farts, and not saying all mechanics are stupid, but there is a stereotype of them not having much brains.

I feel like that after a hard days work. Typically when I think about quadriplegics, people getting raped and dismembered while they are still alive, victims of trafficking, or people committing suicide, it's while I'm laying down in bed.

 

[Thief]

"Is it to develop a sense of gratitude? Is it to be pissed at God for allowing it? Is it to intercede for them? Is it to grow in compassion? Is it to be cognizant of how fragile this body is and what could happen at any given moment? Is it all of the above? Is it none of the above?"

you are instinctively prepping for your hour

we all lay down to breathe one last breath

there will be only ONE desire.......to get up
and you won't

 

[Dave Watchman]

What was the name of the girl who had to dig her grave from Washington. I want to add her to the Capitol Hill Queens I pray to and honor.

Sorry I don't remember.

It was on YouTube.

There were a couple of them in Washington State.

The other one was this guy who raped a woman. They caught him and she testified and they put him in jail. And he sat in jail, stewed in his juice, and did his time. But he did not repent. When he got out, he made his way back to her house where she was alone with her little girl, around 5 or 6 years old I think. He waits in the bushes until dark. He then enters the house with a knife and stabbed them both to death. He slit the little girls throat so hard that she was nearly decapitated.

I don't laugh at my own farts

I did once in a car dealership. I was in front of the service manager and two advisors. While picking up a package from the floor, I let a loud one go unexpectedly. I looked at the three of them, at their blank faces, should I say something? It was like a Seinfeld episode in real time. Only I can do this. Do Not Try This At Home. So I made a Seinfeld face, rolled my eyes around and said "whoops, excuse me. The two men started laughing, but the female just covered her face.

​

I feel like that after a hard days work. Typically when I think about quadriplegics, people getting raped and dismembered while they are still alive, victims of trafficking, or people committing suicide, it's while I'm laying down in bed.

"Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much,
but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep.​

The other day I worked so hard and long, I was sore the whole day after. My hands, my back and my knees. I was hand winching a 1979 Dodge Truck across the yard. Clearing the junk out of the way. I hit the bed and passe dout. I couldn't think of nothing.

I took a vacation week now, but my regular work week I get up at 3:30AM and commute. It's a four day week but by the end of the day I'm wiped out and sleep deprived.

 

[Dave Watchman]

What was the name of the girl who had to dig her grave from Washington. I want to add her to the Capitol Hill Queens I pray to and honor.

There's so many of them, if i google 18 year old girl killed in Washing ton State, it's still hard to find the right one.

Sad.

And I did get it wrong.

They brought multiple shovels.

She didn't have to do the digging, just had to watch as it was dug for her.

She was forced to watch her own grave being dug...

Troubled romance with 'bad boys' leads to teen's abduction, murder

On September 23, 2002, Rachel Burkheimer, 18, was murdered in Snohomish County, near Everett, Washington, and buried in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains.

 

[PureX]

Focusing on the negative aspects and circumstances of life is a sign of mental illness. And it is very common among addicts of all kinds, for obvious reasons. Doing so gives the addict a constant and ongoing excuse to engage in their preferred destructive behavior, as well as an automatic way to pass off the blame for the damage that behavior causes in their own lives and the lives of those around them. And over time, this focus on the negative can easily become the only reality the addict sees, anymore. They become truly convinced that this is truth of existence. "Life sucks and then you die".

But of course, that's not the truth of our existence, at all. For every terrible and unfortunate event we see happening in the world around us we could just as easily see an equally wonderful and uplifting event. Because the reality of our existence is that it's comprised of both, pretty much in equal measure. And all we have to do is look for it. But that is the key: that willingness to look for it. Because we humans tend to see what we expect to see, because that's what we are looking to find. Ans we tend not to see anything else because we just aren't looking for it.
So if we find ourselves spending inordinate time and energy focused on the negative aspects and circumstances of life, we need to understand that this is neither healthy, nor honest of us to be doing. And if we are an addict, it's an even more dangerous thought pattern to be engaging in. Because it's part-n-parcel with the addictive thinking that drives the addict to engage in self-destructive behavior.

 

[Dave Watchman]

Focusing on the negative aspects and circumstances of life is a sign of mental illness. And it is very common among addicts of all kinds, for obvious reasons. Doing so gives the addict a constant and ongoing excuse to engage in their preferred destructive behavior, as well as an automatic way to pass off the blame for the damage that behavior causes in their own lives and the lives of those around them. And over time, this focus on the negative can easily become the only reality the addict sees, anymore. They become truly convinced that this is truth of existence. "Life sucks and then you die".

But of course, that's not the truth of our existence, at all. For every terrible and unfortunate event we see happening in the world around us we could just as easily see an equally wonderful and uplifting event. Because the reality of our existence is that it's comprised of both, pretty much in equal measure. And all we have to do is look for it. But that is the key: that willingness to look for it. Because we humans tend to see what we expect to see, because that's what we are looking to find. Ans we tend not to see anything else because we just aren't looking for it.
So if we find ourselves spending inordinate time and energy focused on the negative aspects and circumstances of life, we need to understand that this is neither healthy, nor honest of us to be doing. And if we are an addict, it's an even more dangerous thought pattern to be engaging in. Because it's part-n-parcel with the addictive thinking that drives the addict to engage in self-destructive behavior.

You could be like an online psychiatrist.

When I watch these crime stories, I'm thinking about the criminal.

Like what will be the punishment?

Leave room for the Lord's wrath kind of deal.

Even if they don't make it back to the Garden, how long will they burn before annihilation?

Like the dude Anderson, who did the murder in Washington, can he ever be redeemed?

During the trial he thought it was funny.

How will he look when he falls into the hands of the living God.

It's an awful thing.

Maybe some are born lost.

We shall see.

 

[Koldo]

One of the more traumatic events of mine as a kid was when my best friend jumped off a balcony and wound up quadriplegic.

In fact, it was a lot more traumatic than if he would have gotten tortured to death right in front of me.

The reason it is so traumatic, is he has to live a minimum of a decade I figured, with bed sores, needing to be spoon fed, needing his depends to be changed, and needing to be cleaned.

He also had a halo screwd into his skull and the nurse was poking his neck and chest to see where he could feel anything, and in agony and tears, he just kept saying in despair "no".

For some reason I have gone through some traumatic stuff , but that sticks out as being more disturbing than meeting the murderers I've met, or enduring some of the abuse I have.

I only hope and pray his ordeal is over (out of compassion) by now, because to be just a head, unable to move below the neck ( to me) sounds like unbearable torture worse than death ( 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

I only saw him the night it happened in the ER.

But ever since then I feel the need each day to take a moment of silence and remember that some completely healthy young man or woman was hit by a drunk driver or had some accidental injury or gunshot wound that left them paralyzed from the neck down, and recall the pain they have of knowing they will wait the rest of their lives for death to bring some relief to that state of agony.

Christopher Reeves actually wanted to live like that over death, but for those who prefer death, I don't see why not make it legal to give them a very comfortable painless entry into a purely spiritual state.

But my question for myself is, " why do I feel the need to consider each day that a bunch of people went quadriplegic and are having to adjust to that misery?"

"Is it to develop a sense of gratitude? Is it to be pissed at God for allowing it? Is it to intercede for them? Is it to grow in compassion? Is it to be cognizant of how fragile this body is and what could happen at any given moment? Is it all of the above? Is it none of the above?"

What is your assessment or thoughts? It sometimes makes me less of a jerk or less arrogant and cocky to focus on such things. It can make me more grateful. But it does harm my trust in God's providence , and produces a type of despair sometimes.

Another thing I think about each day is all the suicides and how they must feel before they take their own lives, and how bad it feels to survive an attempt.

I'd say it's compassionate to enter into the pain of others, but not sure why I keep doing it, as it doesn't clearly accomplish much. My conscience keeps telling me to do so, so I follow it without really questioning it too much.

Maybe you can enlighten me. God bless.

To be honest, none of us know why you do it.

Most of us just pretend none of the bad stuff happens...

 

[stvdv]

But my question for myself is, " why do I feel the need to consider each day that a bunch of people went quadriplegic and are having to adjust to that misery?"

Introspection is one of our most valuable tools in our journey to "Bliss" or "Love" or whatever your goal is

"Is it to develop a sense of gratitude?

Aways good to develop, right?

Is it to be pissed at God for allowing it?

Nah, not in my opinion (which I explained a few weeks ago quite in detail as a reply to you in another thread)
Though, IF you get pissed THEN best to get pissed at God.
Sai Baba told me personally "I am very happy if you get very angry at me"
I used to suppress my angry, thinking that's the way to go, leading to eventually being unable to get angry

Is it to intercede for them?

IMO: NO.
I do recognize having this habit my self. Tricky one which might lead to increased arrogance I think
I saw it more like "stvdv kind of covertly avoiding solving his own things which still needed to be solved"

Is it to grow in compassion?

Can't go wrong with that, can you?

 

[stvdv]

Is it to be cognizant of how fragile this body is and what could happen at any given moment?

That seems a useful insight, which also helps us to become humble

Is it all of the above? Is it none of the above?"

What is your assessment or thoughts?

It sometimes makes me less of a jerk or less arrogant and cocky to focus on such things.

I recognize that myself too

1: It can make me more grateful.
2: But it does harm my trust in God's providence , and produces a type of despair sometimes.

1: Yes
2: I explained last week, howto see it differently

Maybe you can enlighten me. God bless.

God's blessing will enlighten you, not stvdv

 

[Spiderman]

Introspection is one of our most valuable tools in our journey to "Bliss" or "Love" or whatever your goal is


Aways good to develop, right?


Nah, not in my opinion (which I explained a few weeks ago quite in detail as a reply to you in another thread)
Though, IF you get pissed THEN best to get pissed at God.
Sai Baba told me personally "I am very happy if you get very angry at me"
I used to suppress my angry, thinking that's the way to go, leading to eventually being unable to get angry


IMO: NO.
I do recognize having this habit my self. Tricky one which might lead to increased arrogance I think
I saw it more like "stvdv kind of covertly avoiding solving his own things which still needed to be solved"


Can't go wrong with that, can you?

Yes indeed.

Sometimes we arrogantly pray for others when we need far more to work out our own problems. It's as if somehow we are above them or something.

I understand you explained that God is not at fault. I'm just having mixed feelings on where I stand on the issue. I'm open to the possibility that he is not at fault, just sometimes it is hard for me to be convinced of it without doubting.

 

[stvdv]

Sometimes we arrogantly pray for others when we need far more to work out our own problems. It's as if somehow we are above them or something.

True, exactly. Not the place I like to end up. Especially after reading in Hindu Scriptures that Spiritual Ego is kind of inescapable trap

I understand you explained that God is not at fault. I'm just having mixed feelings on where I stand on the issue. I'm open to the possibility that he is not at fault, just sometimes it is hard for me to be convinced of it without doubting.

It's good to be honest and true to your feelings (mixed ones). The trick is to stay open minded. You are plenty smart to figure it out (as far as I know you from reading on RF). We all have to solve our "mixed feelings" on all kinds of different subjects it seems. Patience and perseverance and purification is my way, others have different ways. I believe we all get there some day. I have Faith in that

 

[Spiderman]

You could be like an online psychiatrist.

When I watch these crime stories, I'm thinking about the criminal.

Like what will be the punishment?

Leave room for the Lord's wrath kind of deal.

Even if they don't make it back to the Garden, how long will they burn before annihilation?

Like the dude Anderson, who did the murder in Washington, can he ever be redeemed?

During the trial he thought it was funny.

How will he look when he falls into the hands of the living God.

It's an awful thing.

Maybe some are born lost.

We shall see.

Yeah,
true. But he might look like he's all smiles but be a tortured soul most the time.

I don't think I want him to suffer forever.

When I was an adolescent I could have laughed in a courtroom over something like that and given the middle finger to the relatives of the victim. I mean , I didn't, but I hated the world and wanted there to be nothing but miserable people like me.

Don't get me wrong, the guy that did that maybe deserves to go through what his victim did, I believe in justice. But he might actually be going through that already. No need for eternal torture.

He might just be like a cat. Does a cat have any compassion for delighting in torturing a mouse all day long? No, it's just how God made cats.

Do venemous snakes and spiders deserve to be tortured because they kill kids and terrify people? No, that's how God made them.

If you never love a dog and beat it all the time, it can tear a person to pieces slowly and appear to delight in it.

For all you know, that guy could be angry at the world because he is jealous , and never was he shown good examples or unconditional love. And yes, that can create a person who will torture people to death just for the pleasure of killing them.

I'm not saying that usually is the result of being unloved, neglected, and abused, but abusive or criminal behavior from such people seems to be the norm.