Anyone here considered outcasts by family for their religion?

[dyanaprajna2011]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice?

Me personally, my family, as well as my ex-wife's family, are predominantly conservative Christian. After spending most of my life as a conservative Christian, I became dissatisfied with that religious view. I began studying other religions and philosophy, to find something that 'fit' me better. About a year ago, I converted to Buddhism, and have been very happy with that choice. I can't imagine myself as anything other than a Buddhist. But, my family has not supported that choice. I'm always having to watch what I say, or post on my Facebook page, for fear of retaliation. Actually, I used to fear that. I've come to the point where I'm no longer concerned with whether they agree with me or not. I don't say things or post things that are anti-Christian, I try to make it as clear as possible that I'm not. And yet, all they see is someone who rejects "God's absolute truth" in favor of "satanic lies". It gets old. Since when has one's personal religious choice been the catalyst for making one a target? I always thought the US was a nation that allowed religious freedom. But, my family just doesn't get that. It's been hard to exile myself from my family. Other than one of my brothers, none of them have even met my son, and they haven't seen my daughter in three years, and she's only five. I keep reminding myself of the Zen master Dogen, who said that we shouldn't worry when people criticize us for our religious choice, and that even if it's painful, we should only associate with worthy companions. But, even with this, it doesn't really make it any easier. I do have a few family members who are indifferent on it, but these are very few.

Anyone else have a similar story they wish to share, or just get off their chest?

 

[dawny0826]

Outcast is an incredibly strong word in my case, but I am always under scrutiny for not believing as conservatively as the matriarchs in my family. Therefore my choices are always in question.

 

[kaknelson]

I am certainly, after years of brainwashing from the Church, the Gods revealed themselves to me which upset everyone in my town and family, only my sister talks to me now.

 

[InformedIgnorance]

I was born and raised in a reasonably devout Roman Catholic family; every week we (the younger children and our parents but not the older children who are considerably older) went to mass, dad was a minister of the eucharist, I was an altar boy and at one stage considering either becoming a priest or a brother (the later being the more likely of the two).

When I did begin to question my spirituality and contended having to go to church every week my father was extremely angry and for a time we had difficulties speaking to one another. None of my other family members had any issue with it and I do not really recall their reactions much other than my mum attempting to make me go for the family's sake.

However, if my father could have been said to be extremely angry, I can be considered extremely obstinate. In time my family was forced to accept that they would not budge my opinion on the matter.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I'm not an outcast but a source of worry. There are a few who are concerned about where I will end up in the afterlife.

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

It's so bad for me sometimes, that it's not even my family is worried about my afterlife, my judgment has come into question, especially about being a father. Why does me being a Buddhist have to equal being a bad father? My ex-wife, who of late as 'rediscovered' her conservative Christianity, tried, for a time, to get me to leave Buddhism and come back to Christianity. Eventually, she realized that I had good reason for being a Buddhist, and that I wasn't about to change, so she just finally accepted it, and even at times seems ok with it. I just wonder what it would take for even some in my family to do the same.

 

[Tarheeler]

It was touch and go at first with my mom, but she finally warmed up.

My dad's family will probably stop speaking to me when they find out. But, considering that I haven't spoken to any of them for several years, it most likely won't matter too much.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

My parents took it well, my brother couldn't care less, but my extended family hates my guts, mainly because I retaliate whenever they get preachy with me and they end up at a loss for words.

 

[internationalist]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice?

Me personally, my family, as well as my ex-wife's family, are predominantly conservative Christian. After spending most of my life as a conservative Christian, I became dissatisfied with that religious view. I began studying other religions and philosophy, to find something that 'fit' me better. About a year ago, I converted to Buddhism, and have been very happy with that choice. I can't imagine myself as anything other than a Buddhist. But, my family has not supported that choice. I'm always having to watch what I say, or post on my Facebook page, for fear of retaliation. Actually, I used to fear that. I've come to the point where I'm no longer concerned with whether they agree with me or not. I don't say things or post things that are anti-Christian, I try to make it as clear as possible that I'm not. And yet, all they see is someone who rejects "God's absolute truth" in favor of "satanic lies". It gets old. Since when has one's personal religious choice been the catalyst for making one a target? I always thought the US was a nation that allowed religious freedom. But, my family just doesn't get that. It's been hard to exile myself from my family. Other than one of my brothers, none of them have even met my son, and they haven't seen my daughter in three years, and she's only five. I keep reminding myself of the Zen master Dogen, who said that we shouldn't worry when people criticize us for our religious choice, and that even if it's painful, we should only associate with worthy companions. But, even with this, it doesn't really make it any easier. I do have a few family members who are indifferent on it, but these are very few.

Anyone else have a similar story they wish to share, or just get off their chest?

I sympathize with you. I don't agree with your religion but I won't force mine on you. Be well!

 

[Caladan]

My mother will probably be devastated if either myself or my sister became religious. luckily we are both secular.
everytime someone is doing something bad, my mother believes they are religious.

 

[no-body]

No I am pretty lucky my family is either entirely secular or lip service Catholics they could care less about religion.

Even with my spouses side of the family who tends toward fundamentalism I don't really have a problem. My philosophy is never get drawn into politics or religion and they just seem to accept me.

I am (somewhat) of a Buddhist too and I find practicing detachment, empathy/right understanding to be very helpful with anyone you disagree with. If you live what you believe rather than making it who you are it works out better in all aspects of your life.

Like Ram Dass said if you want to know if you are really enlightened go spend a week with your parents.

 

[Jainarayan]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice?

My family doesn't know I've embraced Hinduism. They'd mock the snot out of me. It's bad enough I got ragged on for my ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ tattoo. My family is Roman Catholic when convenient and necessary. I'm the "weird" one. I can hear it all now:

Them: Hindu? Oh now you're Indian? You did fall on your head didn't you?
Me: Are you Hebrew? You follow an orthodox Jew.

Wait until they see when I get this tattooed at the base of my neck:

कृष्णस्तु भगवान् स्वयम् । श्रीकृष्णः शरणं मम ।

 

[idea]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice? ...


I don't say things or post things that are anti-Christian,

I hold different beliefs than my family - different political views too. I come from a very diverse family .

I get along wonderfully with those who are able to intelligently, maturely discuss religious beliefs. We actually have many spiritually uplifting conversations with the majority of those in my family - and I think the diversity makes it that much more spiritual - we all bring a different perspective, and can build on one another, and learn from one another. we concentrate on what we have in common, and learn from one another in those areas.

I agree with the no posting anti-stuff - There are a few in my family, who, rather than wanting to build together, and learn together - are more interested in tearing down / preaching instead of learning / pridefully thinking that no-one else has something intelligent to offer... these people are unable to participate in 2-way communication, do not listen to anything you say, are very defensive / paranoid / insecure / easily offended etc. etc. so with them, it's boring conversations about "so... how do you like the weather today?" etc. etc. have to be guarded around them because they will twist and purposefully misunderstand what you say about anything religious ... o well, to each their own.

 

[Nakosis]

That's too bad. Your family and friends should respect you enough to allow you to make your own choices as long as you are not harming anyone.

I discuss my beliefs with my children but always encourage them to make their own choices.

My son's girlfriend's mother is very religious. It's very difficult for him to deal with the expectations. He usually avoids any serious commitment to their beliefs as much as he can but goes along with it when he has to for the sake of the relationship.

 

[Lokabrenna]

My mom's a very religious Catholic. I think she thinks I'm an atheist, but if I told her what I really was she just would not understand. In her mind, religions break down like this: Catholics, Protestants, 'Moz-lems' (or 'Islams'), and 'Heathens'/'people who don't believe in God'.

As a religious studies major, every time she makes an ignorant comment re: another religion I cry a little.

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

My mom's a very religious Catholic. I think she thinks I'm an atheist, but if I told her what I really was she just would not understand. In her mind, religions break down like this: Catholics, Protestants, 'Moz-lems' (or 'Islams'), and 'Heathens'/'people who don't believe in God'.

As a religious studies major, every time she makes an ignorant comment re: another religion I cry a little.

Out of curiosity, what is Vanatru?

 

[Dubio]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice?

Me personally, my family, as well as my ex-wife's family, are predominantly conservative Christian. After spending most of my life as a conservative Christian, I became dissatisfied with that religious view. I began studying other religions and philosophy, to find something that 'fit' me better. About a year ago, I converted to Buddhism, and have been very happy with that choice. I can't imagine myself as anything other than a Buddhist. But, my family has not supported that choice. I'm always having to watch what I say, or post on my Facebook page, for fear of retaliation. Actually, I used to fear that. I've come to the point where I'm no longer concerned with whether they agree with me or not. I don't say things or post things that are anti-Christian, I try to make it as clear as possible that I'm not. And yet, all they see is someone who rejects "God's absolute truth" in favor of "satanic lies". It gets old. Since when has one's personal religious choice been the catalyst for making one a target? I always thought the US was a nation that allowed religious freedom. But, my family just doesn't get that. It's been hard to exile myself from my family. Other than one of my brothers, none of them have even met my son, and they haven't seen my daughter in three years, and she's only five. I keep reminding myself of the Zen master Dogen, who said that we shouldn't worry when people criticize us for our religious choice, and that even if it's painful, we should only associate with worthy companions. But, even with this, it doesn't really make it any easier. I do have a few family members who are indifferent on it, but these are very few.

Anyone else have a similar story they wish to share, or just get off their chest?

I think Fundamentalist leaders play the devil card and hell card to keep the flock huddled together in fear and entrapped while at the same time marginalizing people who are any threat to their status quo. Don't let it get to you.

 

[Vinayaka]

Forty years ago we were outcast by my wife's family. The coming of grandchildren changed that. o it lasted about 2 years. Neither side ever really understood my Hinduism. Since they were basically agnostic, we just followed the 'don't discuss religion' rule. The worst was the name change. That was hard on them.

 

[4consideration]

Is there anyone here who are considered outcasts by your family because you reject their religion in favor of another one, or none at all? Does your family constantly deride you for your choice?

Me personally, my family, as well as my ex-wife's family, are predominantly conservative Christian. After spending most of my life as a conservative Christian, I became dissatisfied with that religious view. I began studying other religions and philosophy, to find something that 'fit' me better. About a year ago, I converted to Buddhism, and have been very happy with that choice. I can't imagine myself as anything other than a Buddhist. But, my family has not supported that choice. I'm always having to watch what I say, or post on my Facebook page, for fear of retaliation. Actually, I used to fear that. I've come to the point where I'm no longer concerned with whether they agree with me or not. I don't say things or post things that are anti-Christian, I try to make it as clear as possible that I'm not. And yet, all they see is someone who rejects "God's absolute truth" in favor of "satanic lies". It gets old. Since when has one's personal religious choice been the catalyst for making one a target? I always thought the US was a nation that allowed religious freedom. But, my family just doesn't get that. It's been hard to exile myself from my family. Other than one of my brothers, none of them have even met my son, and they haven't seen my daughter in three years, and she's only five. I keep reminding myself of the Zen master Dogen, who said that we shouldn't worry when people criticize us for our religious choice, and that even if it's painful, we should only associate with worthy companions. But, even with this, it doesn't really make it any easier. I do have a few family members who are indifferent on it, but these are very few.

Anyone else have a similar story they wish to share, or just get off their chest?

__________________________________

I have not felt like an outcast, but I am aware that my choice to be part of a church "without walls" does not fit well for some of my family members. However, they are respectful of my right to believe differently than they do. I know that their concern for me and my spirituality is based on the fact that they love me. It is amazing what can happen when you keep the focus on the love that you share, rather than on the issues where you differ.

Sometimes it has been helpful to me to take a light-hearted approach with them. I have at times been able to get to the heart of the matter with them by specifically addressing the agony born of fear that they are experiencing by thinking that I "left God" by leaving that church. Compassion works well there. I have to remember not to criticize too harshly those things in their faith that made me choose another path. Respect for each other's beliefs goes both ways.

As I see it, my beliefs do not invalidate their right to their beliefs -- and their beliefs do not invalidate my right to mine. If it's just a matter of a battle of ideas over who is right and who is wrong -- then I just see that as a game of the Ego -- and one inappropriate for spiritual matters. I don't want to play a mental war game about God.

I consider myself Christian, but according to my beliefs -- no one is excluded from the presence of the Father by the Father. We may choose to reject him, but I do not believe that he rejects us. I have not, nor do I recongnize any person or belief system to have been given the position of Heaven's Bouncer.

I have found it most helpful with certain people to simply make it clear that I take my responsibility to live according to the truth as I understand it quite seriously. That is between me and my Creator. I believe that my Creator expects me to follow truth, to make mistakes sometimes, and to hopefully remain on a path dedicated to wisdom and truth. If another person takes issue with me because my ideas about God, or my ideas about the meaning of certain texts differ from their ideas -- I am o.k. with that.

 

[Lokabrenna]

Out of curiosity, what is Vanatru?

The short explanation is "someone who honours the tribe of gods known collectively as 'the Vanir' in the Norse pantheon".

I think it would blow my mom's mind lol. Actually, scratch that, admitting to be a polytheist would blow the minds of most of the people in my life, I think.