Are modern marriages acceptable to god?

[bribrius]

i have been wondering this. Perhaps because i have put some extra effort in my own marriage to bring it closer in line with what i believe God wanted.

But after being told how outdated i am now, or perhaps im traditional. I have started wondering if modern marriages are acceptable to God.

Now my wife doesnt work, she is really happy home with the children.

I have been loving her more, but being a little more restrictive, if that makes since. She has a little less freedom or control (i used to not care what she did and she did the finances etc. ) but is getting much more love and affection. She has also become less stressed and more civic/volunteer minded. Helping others. She seems alot happier.

I have just bascially been trying to change our lives to be closer to what i thought God wanted.
Which, makes me wonder about others still more caught up in two income households, daycares, more material items etc.

Also gave up on some money making ventures, so i could be more family oriented.
All the bills are still paid, but lets just say we have about half the income we once had. Actually we carry no carpayments, credit card debt etc. anymore. I have tried to make everything more fiscally conservative and my wife has totally helped me do this.

Not sure if im going to far with this. Thoughts? And what about others i meet that think me and my wifes relationship and household is now "traditional" or they think we are "strange".

i had someone accuse me of not letting my wife work. Reality is i dont want her to work, kids dont want her to work, and she doesnt even want to go to work. Or we wont let one of our children do something and it becomes a problem for some reason. Well we just dont believe that is appropriate for her to do. Im not sure how to react to people.

Some are in the church. But while they are looking at me, im looking back wondering if their marriage is right in Gods eyes...:help:

 

[bribrius]

i was really hoping for some input on marriages in the church/congregations.

I guess no one has even a comment?

So everyone even believes divorce is acceptable of congregation members as well as infidelity, multiple wives and whatever else?(picking some of the more extremes)

 

[sojourner]

I think modern marriages are completely acceptable to God. Remember that God works within humanity -- and within the cultures we create.

 

[blackout]

Respectful question:

What will happen when the day comes that your wife HAS to return to work,
to help pay bills and provide for the children?

Do you think that downsizing your own income
while at the same time discouraging your wife from bringing in any extra income,
might 'come back to bite you' so to speak?

She is left with no work experience and no resume,
and you are making only half of what you are capable of (by choice).

The world we live in now is not the same world you are modeling your economic life/marriage from.
As well, constant economic stress and lack, puts constant relational strain on a marriage.

Hope I didn't overstep the DIR boundaries.

If you feel I did, I will delete my post.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

I do not think there is a single marriage style that fits all., Christian or otherwise.
The Bible certainly does not lay down a Christian set of rules for anything, and that includes marriage.
All rules in Christianity are implied rather than set down as Christian.

A Christian household is held in the love of God and the love of each other. It does not set rules of one over another, or what they can or can not do.

Some denominations have trawled through the Bible and constructed their own set of rules. These take little regard of the societies or faith of the people they were gathered from. They are simply those that fit the denominations preconceived ideas.

It is plainly a good Idea to spend more time as a family. It is not a good Idea to "demand" this.
It is also a good Idea to put family before money. but financial support is important.
It is also a good Idea to make decisions in partnership. It is equally good to accept ideas you may not have chosen yourself.

God is the head of the household, he works through the whole family.

 

[bribrius]

Respectful question:

What will happen when the day comes that your wife HAS to return to work,
to help pay bills and provide for the children?hopefully, that can always be avoided. She wants to be home, i want her home. suppose will just do what i can to keep that so and may God provide.

Do you think that downsizing your own income
while at the same time discouraging your wife from bringing in any extra income,
might 'come back to bite you' so to speak?i think we will do without many things. we were buying new vehicles, eating out more, more entertainment. This is where it has cut back so far. The two hundred dollar cellphones are gone. Long term financially, im not sure the final outcome. We still save money, cut coupons, are more frugal. More conservative financially. Maybe that will add up. Dont see us buying a four thousand square foot house in the future unless i find another way to support that. But our current place is livable enough and there is room for all.

She is left with no work experience and no resume,
and you are making only half of what you are capable of (by choice).True

The world we live in now is not the same world you are modeling your economic life/marriage from. Again, totally true. But is the world we live in right? Or is the model right? If the model is right then the world we live in shouldn't have premise should it?
As well, constant economic stress and lack, puts constant relational strain on a marriage. yes and no. I mean. Before we saw a lot less of eachother. Probably not good. I think that caused issues. We also always had things to do. The amount of things we have to do has also been cut down in half. So we are less frantic as the work load is lessened. For instance if she runs errands while im at work, im not working lots of hours then worrying about running errands. Her being home means she doesnt have to worrying about the career and getting out of work and having more things to do. We basically just both have more time to put to use with the family or how we prefer to use it rather than running around frantic.

Hope I didn't overstep the DIR boundaries.Not at all. your input is welcomed.

If you feel I did, I will delete my post.

thankyou for the reply

 

[bribrius]

I do not think there is a single marriage style that fits all., Christian or otherwise.
The Bible certainly does not lay down a Christian set of rules for anything, and that includes marriage.
All rules in Christianity are implied rather than set down as Christian.

A Christian household is held in the love of God and the love of each other. It does not set rules of one over another, or what they can or can not do.

Some denominations have trawled through the Bible and constructed their own set of rules. These take little regard of the societies or faith of the people they were gathered from. They are simply those that fit the denominations preconceived ideas.

It is plainly a good Idea to spend more time as a family. It is not a good Idea to "demand" this.
It is also a good Idea to put family before money. but financial support is important.
It is also a good Idea to make decisions in partnership. It is equally good to accept ideas you may not have chosen yourself.

God is the head of the household, he works through the whole family.

there is no biblical blue print for marriage and family relations?

 

[bribrius]

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
hebrews 13 4-7

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

there is no biblical blue print for marriage and family relations?

Unlike the Jews we do not have a book of law.
Nor do we have the equivalent of the Koran that covers every aspect of life.
Christians have establish their denominations rules from tradition and selecting from the writings of the Early Christians, that we assembled into the Bible.

Christians are expected to interpolate their faith from Jesus Teachings.

 

[bribrius]

Unlike the Jews we do not have a book of law.
Nor do we have the equivalent of the Koran that covers every aspect of life.
Christians have establish their denominations rules from tradition and selecting from the writings of the Early Christians, that we assembled into the Bible.

Christians are expected to interpolate their faith from Jesus Teachings.

so what is a christian marriage? Can you describe it?

 

[CaptainXeroid]

I'd say a 'Christian' marriage is one in which the man is the head of the household, lives according the Bible, and is willing to lay down his life for his wife and family. Living according the the Bible means the man and wife are faithful to each other 'til death to us part' and work together to raise their kids according to God's word.

I don't think God care if one or both parents work outside the home as long as they teach their kids that working and earning your own way is virtuous.

For some, a 'modern' marriage might mean DINK, double income no kids, like my wife & me, but others might suggest we should have them. I think God would our marriage acceptable as we try to live as Godly as possible.

Now if you take a 'modern' marriage to mean an 'open' marriage in which both parties feel free to screw around, then I'd say not a chance.