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Are religious people bad in bed?

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
This is actually a serious topic because according to some sex therapists some religions tend to indoctrinate this idea that being in tune with one's own sexual feelings has a negative impact on their ability to be faithful members of their specific religion. Using Christianity for example a lot of pastors at least those of the Baptist Christian sect, tend to quote the following saying of Jesus:

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh. on a woman to lust after her hath committed. adultery with her already in his heart." -Matthew 5:27-28

According to Psychology Today:

"therapists are now seeing a tide of young people, feeling immense shame and pain about their sexual urges, desires and behaviors, as these young people encounter the wide world of sexuality available outside the confines of these moral fantasies. The youth can use their smartphones to see all the sex they want, or they enter college, where they find that their newfound freedom is exhilarating and intimidating. One young man I saw a few years ago was an 18-year-old college student, deeply afraid that he was addicted to masturbation. He was only masturbating once a week, but because he’d grown up in a family where any sex outside monogamous marriage was sinful and condemned, his quite normal sexual behavior was experienced with deep shame and fear."

See:Overcoming Religious Sexual Shame

Most notably, these instances of shame and guilt are largely rooted in the Abrahamic traditions according to some studies. According to sex Therapist Vanessa Marin (2019), there is a level of ambiguity in doctrine when it comes to sexuality and to have clarity, one must do personal research as to what is and isn't prohibited in religious text. Unfortunately, sexual repression is an issue in these traditions which indirectly forces men and women (mostly women) into this guilt locked down by honor and obedience to spiritual commandments. The guilt and shame of not being in tune with one's own body may contribute to a lack of sexual prowess when one is married because one may not know what pleases them sexually because they have been conditioned to repress those desires for so long.

According to a Boston University article citing an American Baptist Christian pastor Jennifer Knunst, she addresses gross misinterpretations and potential contradictions many have made using the Bible this I found quite interesting:

Interviewer: Really? Where does the Bible give a green light to premarital sex?

"Perhaps the most striking example is in the story of Ruth, though there are other examples as well. According to the Book of Ruth, when the recently widowed Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi were faced with a famine in Ruth’s homeland Moab, they returned to Israel impoverished and with little hope of survival. Ruth took to gleaning in the fields to find food for herself and Naomi. The owner of the fields, a relative of Naomi named Boaz, saw Ruth and was pleased by her. When Naomi heard about it, she encouraged Ruth to adorn herself and approach Boaz at night while he was sleeping to see what would happen. Ruth took this advice, resting with him until morning after first “uncovering his feet” (in Hebrew, “feet” can be a euphemism for male genitals). The next day, Boaz goes to town to find out whether he can marry her, and, luckily, another man with a claim to Ruth agrees to release her. They do marry and together they produce Obed, the grandfather of King David.

None of this would have been possible if Ruth had not set out to seduce Boaz in a field, without the benefit of marriage."

See: The Bible’s Contradictions About Sex | BU Today | Boston University

In your view can sexual repression of religiosity lead to a poor sexual relationship with a significant other?





 
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Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
Au contrair! Those rumors about naughty catholic school girls?

It's all true!

Oh to go back in time to my teens again.

Dang. I'm having flashbacks again.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
I have definitely had good sex with religious girls when I was in my early 20's/late teens, but I suspect they were not as deep into their religion as they were... I don't know, supposed to be? I don't know what to say there. One was a 7th day adventist if memory serves (she couldn't even wear jeans!) and the other was some kind of JW or similar offshoot. I didn't know, or care. I was actually a pretty terrible young lady.

I'm fuzzy on the time frame but it doesn't matter. Pretty sure it was closer to late teens than early 20's because I hadn't moved to a college town yet.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
As my first sample of sex was with a very nice Irish girl (aged 19 to my 25), I can't complain, but she was brought up in a Catholic convent, and where I suspect she interacted with the other girls - but possibly preferred boys, given her liveliness. :oops:
 

Heyo

Veteran Member
This is actually a serious topic because according to some sex therapists some religions tend to indoctrinate this idea that being in tune with one's own sexual feelings has a negative impact on their ability to be faithful members of their specific religion. Using Christianity for example a lot of pastors at least those of the Baptist Christian sect, tend to quote the following saying of Jesus:

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh. on a woman to lust after her hath committed. adultery with her already in his heart." -Matthew 5:27-28

According to Psychology Today:

"therapists are now seeing a tide of young people, feeling immense shame and pain about their sexual urges, desires and behaviors, as these young people encounter the wide world of sexuality available outside the confines of these moral fantasies. The youth can use their smartphones to see all the sex they want, or they enter college, where they find that their newfound freedom is exhilarating and intimidating. One young man I saw a few years ago was an 18-year-old college student, deeply afraid that he was addicted to masturbation. He was only masturbating once a week, but because he’d grown up in a family where any sex outside monogamous marriage was sinful and condemned, his quite normal sexual behavior was experienced with deep shame and fear."

See:Overcoming Religious Sexual Shame

Most notably, these instances of shame and guilt are largely rooted in the Abrahamic traditions according to some studies. According to sex Therapist Vanessa Marin (2019), there is a level of ambiguity in doctrine when it comes to sexuality and to have clarity, one must do personal research as to what is and isn't prohibited in religious text. Unfortunately, sexual repression is an issue in these traditions which indirectly forces men and women (mostly women) into this guilt locked down by honor and obedience to spiritual commandments. The guilt and shame of not being in tune with one's own body may contribute to a lack of sexual prowess when one is married because one may not know what pleases them sexually because they have been conditioned to repress those desires for so long.

According to a Boston University article citing an American Baptist Christian pastor Jennifer Knunst, she addresses gross misinterpretations and potential contradictions many have made using the Bible this I found quite interesting:

Interviewer: Really? Where does the Bible give a green light to premarital sex?

"Perhaps the most striking example is in the story of Ruth, though there are other examples as well. According to the Book of Ruth, when the recently widowed Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi were faced with a famine in Ruth’s homeland Moab, they returned to Israel impoverished and with little hope of survival. Ruth took to gleaning in the fields to find food for herself and Naomi. The owner of the fields, a relative of Naomi named Boaz, saw Ruth and was pleased by her. When Naomi heard about it, she encouraged Ruth to adorn herself and approach Boaz at night while he was sleeping to see what would happen. Ruth took this advice, resting with him until morning after first “uncovering his feet” (in Hebrew, “feet” can be a euphemism for male genitals). The next day, Boaz goes to town to find out whether he can marry her, and, luckily, another man with a claim to Ruth agrees to release her. They do marry and together they produce Obed, the grandfather of King David.

None of this would have been possible if Ruth had not set out to seduce Boaz in a field, without the benefit of marriage."

See: The Bible’s Contradictions About Sex | BU Today | Boston University

In your view can sexual repression from religiousity lead to a poor sexual relationship with a significant other?




While religious sex morals can lead to uptightness in some, it is an aphrodisiac to others. The forbidden leads to arousal (somehow specifically in catholic girls-only school girls). Yep, the rumours are true.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
While religious sex morals can lead to uptightness in some, it is an aphrodisiac to others. The forbidden leads to arousal (somehow specifically in catholic girls-only school girls). Yep, the rumours are true.

Damn, sounds like younger me should have hung out with the Catholic crowd! :sweatsmile:
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
I doubt it. I think that these studies are not very meaningful and distort the truth. Religious folks are not all prudish - I'm a case in point here. It just seems to be a human thing in general to be a little embarrassed and ashamed to discuss sex. Even atheists are not very good at it. I've found it takes a lot of people a long time to open up about it regardless.
 
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Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
I have definitely had good sex with religious girls when I was in my early 20's/late teens, but I suspect they were not as deep into their religion as they were... I don't know, supposed to be? I don't know what to say there. One was a 7th day adventist if memory serves (she couldn't even wear jeans!) and the other was some kind of JW or similar offshoot. I didn't know, or care. I was actually a pretty terrible young lady.

I'm fuzzy on the time frame but it doesn't matter. Pretty sure it was closer to late teens than early 20's because I hadn't moved to a college town yet.

There is an article somewhere on my laptop which studied sexual arousal of married and unmarried couples (I believe the study used the Kinsey scale model) but it did measure the religiousity of people via surveys I gotta find it but as soon as I do I'll post it here.
 

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
Depends on the religion.;)

I thought about you when I made this thread because I'm well aware that LHP are very "liberal" when it comes to sexuality. I do find my best sexual encounters tend to come from atheists and Satanists (yes I once had sex with a satanist) she was a freak. Ironically she wanted to use whips and stuff on me I had to give her the side-eye lol.
 

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
As my first sample of sex was with a very nice Irish girl (aged 19 to my 25), I can't complain, but she was brought up in a Catholic convent, and where I suspect she interacted with the other girls - but possibly preferred boys, given her liveliness. :oops:

I spit my coffee out when you said your first "sample of sex" like you were sampling something off the menu. lol
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
I spit my coffee out when you said your first "sample of sex" like you were sampling something off the menu. lol
Get ready again then - liveliness was a euphemism for raging nympho. :oops: But very nice. My sampling was rather sporadic after that. :D
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
Just saying, don't blow up my inbox, people, but.... if you haven't tossed in the hay with a polytheist.... I'm afraid you've never had sex.
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
I thought about you when I made this thread because I'm well aware that LHP are very "liberal" when it comes to sexuality. I do find my best sexual encounters tend to come from atheists and Satanists (yes I once had sex with a satanist) she was a freak. Ironically she wanted to use whips and stuff on me I had to give her the side-eye lol.
As someone also into BDSM I don't really appreciate the insinuation that we're freaks.
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
In general, the major religions teach that the concern for others is paramount. Thus, if one accepts that, then they must try and do their best to make sure the other is both "pleased" but also protected.

OTOH, adultery, trickery, coercion, and immaturity should obviously be avoided.
 
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