Are Women Realistic Enough to Read Romance Novels?

[Sunstone]

So, certain women that watch those cray-cray types of porn will probably desire some of those cray-cray things in bed.

I have known a few women much younger than me who, raised with men their age who got ideas about how to treat women from net porn, resigned themselves to doing and having done to them things they didn't enjoy, or even things that hurt. And I've read now and then articles in the media that such behavior by women is commonplace nowadays.

Of course, I know women who actually enjoy "cray-cray" things, as you put it. So, there's that, too.

But I'm not likely to argue that the latter women's positive experiences justify the former women's negative experiences.

 

[Poeticus]

But I'm not likely to argue that the latter women's positive experiences justify the former women's negative experiences.

Neither am I.

I was saying that this idea about women = romance novels; and men = porn and the analogy of all that is way too one sided.

Whether fantasy is mostly beneficial, as Mystic and Dan both seem to be asserting in the case of romance novels, or whether fantasy is largely problematic, as many people assert in the case of men forming unrealistic expectations of women from viewing porn, seems to be a good question. Any opinions?

That's why mentioned that not all men expect women to act like the women they see in porn. And, I used the example of women watching different types of porn to explain that.

I think that analogy of women = romance novels; and men = porn; is a little sexist; it pretty much is "women-do-this-and-men-do-that-myth acceptance".

 

[Sunstone]

I was saying that this idea about women = romance novels; and men = porn and the analogy of all that is way too one sided.

Well, of course, there are cases of men reading romance novels and women watching porn! Frankly, I thought that would go without saying. But I don't think it hurts that you brought that up.

That's why mentioned that not all men expect women to act like the women they see in porn. And, I used the example of women watching different types of porn to explain that.

No! No! No! I am completely and absolutely positive that when the last male of my pre-internet generation dies off, the world will be left without even a single male who does not expect and demand to orgasm in his partner's face. I am certain of it!


(Teehee! Just kidding.)

I think that analogy of women = romance novels; and men = porn; is a little sexist; it pretty much is "women-do-this-and-men-do-that-myth acceptance".

Choosing not to discuss all sides of an issue does not necessarily demonstrate sexism, in my opinion.

 

[Poeticus]

Choosing not to discuss all sides of an issue does not necessarily demonstrate sexism, in my opinion.

It only becomes a problem when readers observing these posts come to believe that all men watch porn and all women read romance novels. It's just safe to take a few seconds out of the hour to ensure a small detail that the analogy of women = romance novels and men = porn isn't a definitive thing.

 

[Sunstone]

It only becomes a problem when readers observing these posts come to believe that all men watch porn and all women read romance novels. It's just safe to take a few seconds out of the hour to ensure a small detail that the analogy of women = romance novels and men = porn isn't a definitive thing.

I'll grant it doesn't hurt to do that. And I thank you for doing it.

 

[Poeticus]

I'll grant it doesn't hurt to do that. And I thank you for doing it.

No problemo.

 

[Monk Of Reason]

"Romance Novels" are to Porn as caffine is to cocaine. Lol thats just my view anyway.

I think there is an unrealistic and nauseating amount of illusion packed into us by the media, books, ect on everything from what we should look like ourselves, what our partners look like to penis size, to breast size to height, to athletic ability to intelegence to personalties.

People need to spend more time with REAL people. And a lot of them. In high school and now in college I've met dozens upon dozens of people. I've spoken to hundreds but only spent quality time enough to get to know between 50-100. Untill you get this kind of sampling of people from all around you don't really get to "know" what people are like. Even if you grow up in a single town without sampling around you will get a warped view of what is normal. I still don't think I have enough qualifications to say what is realistic or not. Especially sexually.

I think we as a culture need a big dose of reality rather than fantasy for a bit. Fantasy used to be a great way to get away from real life and it was only given in sprinkles here and there. Now we live in a society where we can almost live completely in fantasy and ilusion thanks to the internet and electronic communication.

 

[Poeticus]

Namaste, Monk:

I would separate fantasy into two divisions: radical fantasy and artistic fantasy.

The former is like those romance novels that are a retreat into an illusionary universe where what you want will most likely be there. It is negative health-wise.

Then, there is artistic fantasy. IMO, books by George R.R. Martin and Stephen King are great representatives of this division. Everyone knows what they are: great works of fiction; but, rarely do you see someone so in-tuned with them that they lose sight of the real world. They are not their to give you false hopes (i.e. Pablo from His Soft Lips is the ideal lover, I am swooned by him and I know I will find a man just like him in real life - blah blah blah). They are there to show an evolved imagination that isn't there to trick you but to give you enjoyment of what fiction is truly for.

 

[Draka]

I was just thinking about this. This thing where women tend to prefer romance novels and men prefer porn, in general that is. Well, it really makes sense, at least to me it does. The way we think, gender-wise, is different. Men seem to go straight to an action, are more immediate in their desire for a solution or "fix" or whatever, are more literal and so on. Women tend to like to analyze and imagine more, the build up to something can be just as good, if not better than the end result. The search is half the fun of finding something. We don't read books with four pages of foreplay scenes for no reason guys.

Perhaps, in certain respects a romance novel does have unrealistic expectation possibilities. Finding the "perfect man" and getting swept off your feet by this "white knight" guy who's built like one of the gods...yeah, not going to happen every day. I think we all know that much. However...really good foreplay...guys...can happen

 

[Poeticus]

We don't read books with four pages of foreplay scenes for no reason guys.

THIS^^ This!!! I told you Sunstone! I told you that this was real! Muahahahahahaha! Now you have proof that I was not fabricating!

Thanks for helping me out, Draka!

 

[Sunstone]

THIS^^ This!!! I told you Sunstone! I told you that this was real! Muahahahahahaha! Now you have proof that I was not fabricating!

Thanks for helping me out, Draka!

It seems you got it in your head at some point that I denied women read romance novels for the sex*, among other things. If that's the case, then it surpasses my understanding how you could have arrived at that notion. Care to clue me in?

*sex to me very much includes long, lengthy hours spent in foreplay. Just to be clear.

 

[Poeticus]

It seems you got it in your head at some point that I denied women read romance novels for the sex, among other things. If that's the case, then it surpasses my understanding how you could arrived at that notion.

I didn't say that women read the romance novels for the sex. I said that in some romance novels, many pages are dedicated to sex scenes. You said you would take my word for it. I thought you were being skeptical. But, Draka confirmed about many pages being dedicated to sex scenes such as even foreplay!

Remember our convo from earlier? You tried to pin it on me that it was probably in novels written by Indian authors? But, I said that the authors were American? Remember?

...I have read many Romance novels where more than five pages were about (detailed) sex scenes in bed...

...(detailed) sex scenes...

Fascinating! I missed such detailed sex scenes in the ones I read, which were mostly British or American works. Were the ones you've read mostly by Indian authors?

It used to bug me while skimming the novels that the sex scenes were so couched in vague, ambiguous, or euphemistic language. "She surrendered herself to him, body, mind, and soul." Stuff along those lines.

Nah, homie. I wish there was a Kamasutric twist to it all. But, the authors were American.

Just go to your local library and close your eyes and randomly pick a book from the Romance section. Or, you could give the following books a try:

To Wed a Stranger
The Rules of Seduction
The Unsung Hero
Coming Home
Bet Me

Nah, homie. I wish there was a Kamasutric twist to it all. But, the authors were American.

Interesting!

Just go to your local library and close your eyes and randomly pick a book from the Romance section. Or, you could give the following books a try:

To Wed a Stranger
The Rules of Seduction
The Unsung Hero
Coming Home
Bet Me

I'll take your word for it.

 

[Sunstone]

I didn't say that women read the romance novels for the sex. I said that in some romance novels, many pages are dedicated to sex scenes. You said you would take my word for it. I thought you were being skeptical. But, Draka confirmed!

My fault, then. I misunderstood you, and consequently, when I said "I'd take your word for it", I meant by that something else. For the record, I've long known the fact that romance novels often devout many pages to sex. From skimming a few such novels, however, I've gathered that they tend to be too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes. But I might easily be wrong about that.

 

[Draka]

My fault, then. I misunderstood you, and consequently, when I said "I'd take your word for it", I meant by that something else. For the record, I've long known the fact that romance novels often devout many pages to sex. From skimming a few such novels, however, I've gathered that they tend to be too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes. But I might easily be wrong about that.

"too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes."

Really now? I bet I can change that impression.

 

[Poeticus]

From skimming a few such novels, however, I've gathered that they tend to be too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes. But I might easily be wrong about that.

For most male tastes? Maybe. Maybe not. I had a blast reading those books. They were hot!

 

[Sunstone]

"too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes."

Really now? I bet I can change that impression.

I'm convinced you could! However, I think it might be quite telling that so much male oriented porn depicts sex acts, such as "facials", that seem to have no other purpose than to satisfy what appears to be a male desire for explicitness.

 

[Sunstone]

For most male tastes? Maybe. Maybe not. I had a blast reading those books. They were hot!

But at your age, what isn't hot?

I hope you know I mean that in a gentle way. I'm not so old that I can no longer recall being a young man. But perhaps I suffered from testosterone poisoning back then, and it was just me.

 

[Poeticus]

But at your age, what isn't hot?

I hope you know I mean that in a gentle way. I'm not so old that I can no longer recall being a young man. But perhaps I suffered from testosterone poisoning back then, and it was just me.

Sunstone, you weren't being insulting or rude. In my culture, we take the words of elders with respect and admiration. There is something elders say in Gujarati: "mehne bau divadi dekhi che": "I have seen many holidays". You have went through more experience than me. So, it would be smart of me to take your opinions into consideration, for those opinions are shaped from years of experience.

 

[Sunstone]

Sunstone, you weren't being insulting or rude. In my culture, we take the words of elders with respect and admiration. There is something elders say in Gujarati: "mehne bau divadi dekhi che": "I have seen many holidays". You have went through more experience than me. So, it would be smart of me to take your opinions into consideration, for those opinions are shaped from years of experience.

Thank you for extending me such courtesy. However, I don't mind being contradicted when you feel you have the better view.

 

[crossfire]

My fault, then. I misunderstood you, and consequently, when I said "I'd take your word for it", I meant by that something else. For the record, I've long known the fact that romance novels often devout many pages to sex. From skimming a few such novels, however, I've gathered that they tend to be too vague, indirect, euphemistic, and ambiguous for most male tastes. But I might easily be wrong about that.

LOL. Does this mean that I should go into writing romance novels? I'm quite proficient at being vague, euphemistic, and ambiguous.
I've never consciously thought of it being a defense by which to repel males, though. Perhaps I sense it subconsciously or intuitively and employ it for that reason. (hmmmm, something new to contemplate, thanks.)