Are Women Realistic Enough to Read Romance Novels?

[Aquitaine]

I've heard it said that as far as unrealistic expectations go, Men have Porn, and Women have Romance Novels/Rom-Coms!

 

[Sunstone]

I've heard it said that as far as unrealistic expectations go, Men have Porn, and Women have Romance Novels/Rom-Coms!

I might be cumming to that view myself soon. The more I've been thinking about it, the more it seems to me to make sense that heavy reading of romance novels leads to unrealistic expectations in women, while heavy viewing of porn leads to unrealistic expectations in men.

All things in moderation, I guess.

 

[Aquitaine]

I might be cumming to that view myself soon. The more I've been thinking about it, the more it seems to me to make sense that heavy reading of romance novels leads to unrealistic expectations in women, while heavy viewing of porn leads to unrealistic expectations in men.

All things in moderation, I guess.

I assume your spelling of the word "coming" was a deliberate one there? xD

 

[Sunstone]

I assume your spelling of the word "coming" was a deliberate one there? xD

What an awful mistake on my part! Gee, how could that have happened? It shall forever remain a mystery to me!

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Now and then I hear someone point out that romance novels typically have male characters that are fundamentally unrealistic -- sometimes to the point of absurdity.

I once had nothing better to do for a few weeks than to take a friend's challenge to read a stack a yard high of romance novels. I couldn't stand them -- because the males were just so impossible! -- and I ended up merely skimming the books.

I've heard again and again that romance novels create in women unrealistic expectations about men. For instance, a heavy reader might be likely to think men are more romantically inclined than they typically are. She might even form the strong opinion that male and female sexuality is absolutely perfectly compatible! (By the way, if men and women had perfectly compatible sexualities, why would there be a demand for romance novels? Why would anyone want what is, essentially, escapist literature?)

I myself scoff at that! I mean, I think the average experienced, adult woman is realistic enough to know BS when she reads it. Some women might not (especially, perhaps, younger women and girls) but I have faith that most women do call BS when they read it.

What do you think, though? Am I just as right about this as I almost always am right about everything else?

Or, are most women suckers for the BS about men found in many -- maybe even most -- romance novels?

I honestly don't know, I read a romantic novel once about 6 years ago

 

[ChristineES]

I don't read romance novels, but I can say that most of the people who read them can tell the difference between fiction and real life.

 

[Sunstone]

I'm thinking of changing my mind. Maybe even the average experienced woman (who is a heavy reader) spends most of her time deluded by the novels, and only wakes up from her delusions long enough to convince herself she is not deluded.

If that were true, those women would be like heavy male viewers of porn, I think.

 

[Sunstone]

I honestly don't know, I read a romantic novel once about 6 years ago

I'm so sorry you went through that! I didn't know. Was therapy of any help? It's possible I'm projecting from my own reading experience, though.

 

[Sunstone]

I don't read romance novels, but I can say that most of the people who read them can tell the difference between fiction and real life.

Not to argue, but I'm beginning to question my view that most heavy readers remain largely uninfluenced.

I'd love to see some science on it!

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I'm so sorry you went through that! I didn't know. Was therapy of any help? It's possible I'm projecting from my own reading experience, though.

Hhhaaahhhhaaa!!! It was set in the Victorian era about a woman who fornicates with her husbands friend (or was is cousin?) after her husband died and got pregnant, then the baby daddy's brother (or was is cousin?) married her so she wouldn't become a social outcast, and then they eventually fall in love. Cheesy but it wasn't that bad, I wouldn't read a book like that again though.

 

[ChristineES]

Not to argue, but I'm beginning to question my view that most heavy readers remain largely uninfluenced.

I'd love to see some science on it!

You'll always have those folks who can't tell reality from a romance novel and/or base their ideal man on a fictional book, probably written by a woman who writes about what would be her ideal man. The thing is, ideal never exists outside of fiction. You just have to take what you get. Even the most gorgeous garden will have weeds. So maybe you're right.

 

[Sunstone]

Hhhaaahhhhaaa!!! It was set in the Victorian era about a woman who fornicates with her husbands friend (or was is cousin?) after her husband died and got pregnant, then the baby daddy's brother (or was is cousin?) married her so she wouldn't become a social outcast, and then they eventually fall in love. Cheesy but it wasn't that bad, I wouldn't read a book like that again though.

I think it's arguable that Gone With the Wind is essentially a romance novel. But what do you make of that?

My absolute favorite passage from the novels I've skimmed comes from an Old West gunfight scene in a quite fine work of trash, Savage Love.

The two men, you see, are competitors for the heroine. This leads them to square off. The author goes into great detail, at that point, describing the two men.

She first flops, from my male point of view, by comparing and contrasting the fashion sense of the two men.

But, it doesn't end there! No, the male reader has not suffered enough. So, she goes on and on until she reaches the thrilling moment when she can at last announce that one of the men -- in those very deadly circumstances -- has taken an astonishing interest in the fact that the other man's eyes are a very attractive shade of blue.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I think it's arguable that Gone With the Wind is essentially a romance novel. But what do you make of that?

My absolute favorite passage from the novels I've skimmed comes from an Old West gunfight scene in a quite fine work of trash, Savage Love.

The two men, you see, are competitors for the heroine. This leads them to square off. The author goes into great detail, at that point, describing the two men.

She first flops, from my male point of view, by comparing and contrasting the fashion sense of the two men.

But, it doesn't end there! No, the male reader has not suffered enough. So, she goes on and on until she reaches the thrilling moment when she can at last announce that one of the men -- in those very deadly circumstances -- has taken an astonishing interest in the fact that the other man's eyes are a very attractive shade of blue.

I haven't read gone with the wind, I haven't even watched the movie.
I must admit that scene sounds hilarious!

 

[DallasApple]

I think its more likely they (ones that have problems with men after romance novels ) are "angry" their man isn't "like" that.I mean because It COULD happen! That could be real!Just like a guy watching porn when the woman LOVES anal sex! Has multiple screaming orgasms the entire time ..he might get "angry" that his GF or wife not only doesn't roll her eyes back in her head in utter pleasure and delight but say's "no ...that hurts".

 

[DallasApple]

I haven't read gone with the wind, I haven't even watched the movie.
I must admit that scene sounds hilarious!

I saw gone with the wind by the time I was 8.I read the book when I was 10.And saw gone with the wind again maybe 8 more times after that.And I THINK that is about a 6 hour movie.

AS God is my witness! I'll NEVA go hungry AGAIN!!!!!!

 

[Sunstone]

I haven't read gone with the wind, I haven't even watched the movie.

It's not worth reading, in my opinion. Not even to see why it's so popular in places. Scarlett, the heroine, is an undiagnosed idiot who, according to the novel, has got to be raped by Rhett, the hero, before she is capable of forming the opinion that she might actually like bedding the man.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

It's not worth reading, in my opinion. Not even to see why it's so popular in places. Scarlett, the heroine, is an undiagnosed idiot who, according to the novel, has got to be raped by Rhett, the hero, before she is capable of forming the opinion that she might actually like bedding the man.

So many things people say on this forum reminds me of Andrea Dworkin quotes :help:

 

[Sunstone]

So many things people say on this forum reminds me of Andrea Dworkin quotes :help:

From what very little I've read of her, Dworkin was spot on about a number of things. Margret Mitchel, the author of Gone With the Wind, seems to me to have encouraged and supported rape myth.

Incidentally, she also seems to me to have been a racist who tried convincing her readers that Blacks were better off as slaves.

 

[DallasApple]

From what very little I have read of Dworkin she seems to hold a view that intercourse by its nature is "violent".Which I don't think supports "rape myth" but encourages "sex is violent" myth.

 

[Sunstone]

I'd love to see some science on it!

I think that's the key. Get some science on it.

You can spend all day thinking of logical reasons why something is true, but unless those reasons can be supported by science, you've only got speculations.