I realise I'm one of the few traditionalists here, and that I will most likely be outnumbered. 
But that's okay. Firstly, I want to explain what a modern arranged marriage looks like.
Firstly both parties decide that they want an arranged marriage in the first place. They're to busy with school, too shy, tried the dating game once and it didn't work, or a few other reasons. Whatever they reason, each party has come to the decision they want their parents, or in some cases, another elder, like an aunt and uncle, to help them out with this decision. They see some wisdom in it. So that's just the first step.
The second step is the parents involvement. They place ads in Indian newspapers, on-line, or speak to other people in their community, often in a different city or region, and in this way find potential candidates. It may be one at a time, or 2 or 3 at once if long distances are to be traveled when it comes time to meet. Usually an astrologer is brought in at this stage, as well as resumes of both parties, almost like a job interview. Often references are given references are checked, and all candidates are given a good look over. There may even be some 'behind the scenes checking going on, like speaking with mutual friends.
The third stage is the meeting. Its like a series of supervised dates, and the proposed couple get to interview each other as well as families. So the girl gets to see how the young man treats his mother, to see if he's a mommy's boy, and all that. The kind of food, lifestyle, expectations, and more are laid out. Ideally, there are few secrets left behind. Even things like previous relationships are brought out. At the end of this a length of mull it over time is agreed to.
The fourth stage is the decision. Either party is free to refuse the proposal. If both parties do agree, then all rejoice because there will be a marriage in the community, and it will happen fairly quickly. If either party refuses, then its a return to Step 1.
An even newer version of this is the internet version, where the parties do more interacting and sorting on line, much like internet match-ups. but more fully knowing its marriage at the end of the process.
I hope this clears up some misconceptions about arranged marriages wthin the Hindu community.
But that's okay. Firstly, I want to explain what a modern arranged marriage looks like.Firstly both parties decide that they want an arranged marriage in the first place. They're to busy with school, too shy, tried the dating game once and it didn't work, or a few other reasons. Whatever they reason, each party has come to the decision they want their parents, or in some cases, another elder, like an aunt and uncle, to help them out with this decision. They see some wisdom in it. So that's just the first step.
The second step is the parents involvement. They place ads in Indian newspapers, on-line, or speak to other people in their community, often in a different city or region, and in this way find potential candidates. It may be one at a time, or 2 or 3 at once if long distances are to be traveled when it comes time to meet. Usually an astrologer is brought in at this stage, as well as resumes of both parties, almost like a job interview. Often references are given references are checked, and all candidates are given a good look over. There may even be some 'behind the scenes checking going on, like speaking with mutual friends.
The third stage is the meeting. Its like a series of supervised dates, and the proposed couple get to interview each other as well as families. So the girl gets to see how the young man treats his mother, to see if he's a mommy's boy, and all that. The kind of food, lifestyle, expectations, and more are laid out. Ideally, there are few secrets left behind. Even things like previous relationships are brought out. At the end of this a length of mull it over time is agreed to.
The fourth stage is the decision. Either party is free to refuse the proposal. If both parties do agree, then all rejoice because there will be a marriage in the community, and it will happen fairly quickly. If either party refuses, then its a return to Step 1.
An even newer version of this is the internet version, where the parties do more interacting and sorting on line, much like internet match-ups. but more fully knowing its marriage at the end of the process.
I hope this clears up some misconceptions about arranged marriages wthin the Hindu community.
