Bad chat up lines for the coronavirus outbreak

[Laika]

*whilst standing in line for toilet paper* "So, do you come here often?"

"Because of coronavirus, you got laid off and I got laid off. who knew we could have so much in common?"

"Dam girl, your so hot you can cough all over me any time you want..."

*wearing face mask* "you have the prettiest eyes".

"Right, I haven't washed my hands for a few days. Let's get down to business and have dirty screwed up sex and see who coughs first."

"Girl, you can trust me. I was self-isolating before it was cool"

"No, you have the last toilet paper. I insist."

"I live with my parents. When they're dead and I inherit all there money, perhaps you can come over and we can have sex?"

"you're really hot. Do you have a fever? 'Cause you are giving me one!"

"My hands might be washed but nothing can wash away the dirty thoughts I'm having about you."

"no. It's not what you think! She's just a taking my temperature!"

"I'm not racist. I just want to sleep with as many Asians as possible to fulfil my death wish."

"Babe, why wait? We could all be dead tomorrow. That guy over their just sneezed."

"You're so hot, the city must be in lockdown every time you go out.."

Your turn...

 

[ChristineM]

I’ve got plenty of food and toilet paper, want to come over to my place?

We don't need protection, i don't have coronavirus.

 

[dfnj]

I’ve got plenty of food and toilet paper, want to come over to my place?

We don't need protection, i don't have coronavirus.

A month ago my wife was panicking about toilet paper. She started stocking up. I thought she was crazy. Now she looks like genius!

 

[Mock Turtle]

Hey, like Trump and Bolsonaro have totally ridiculed this stupid virus stuff, so we should just get down to it.

 

[Laika]

"I'm not superficial. I don't think of you as fat. Because I can see past that to the thin person you will become now food is rationed."

"I have a patriotic duty to honour our women in uniform. I'm going to sleep with as many nurses as I can and show my appreciation. We all have to do our part."

 

[Jedster]

Hello, come to my place for a pot of Pot-Noodles.
(Where I am, Pot-Noodles, amongst other things have been rationed!!!)

 

[ChristineM]

Hello, come to my place for a pot of Pot-Noodles.
(Where I am, Pot-Noodles, amongst other things have been rationed!!!)

Not a joke but observations on your joke

Is that a bad thing? Pot noodles just don't do it for me.

Come over the channel, noodle and pasta pots* and toilet paper are plentiful

* I have never seen pot noodle here but there are so many pots on the theme. Even gourmet versions

 

[ChristineM]

Warning about chat up lines


Be careful who you take home, you could be stuck with them for a fortnight

 

[sun rise]

Hi beautiful. You have such wonderful eyes. Are you suffering from cabin fever like I am? Then let's go over to my place and get really hot together.