ballancing material life and spiritual life

[ratikala]

namaskaram Prabhu ji's
after reading @StarryNightshade ji's recent post ''living as a Gay Hindu '', ...it occured to me that it was not just a question of sexual preference or ones inate sence of attraction to one gender or another , ..it also raised the very important issue of ballancing ones material life with ones spiritual life and that there may be every possibility that a well ballanced supportive Gay relationship is no more offensive to God than a well ballanced and supportive hetrosexual relationship ?

what however may be the real problem is one that faces all of us , how do we ballance our material lives with our spiritual lives?

how do we ensure that we form ballanced and supportive relationships ?

how do we overcome extremes of lust and anger ? ... or excessive competitiveness or material ambition ?

how do we find the right ballance ? ...one that is condusive to both our physical wellbeing and our spiritual growth

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

namaskaram Prabhu ji's
after reading @StarryNightshade ji's recent post ''living as a Gay Hindu '', ...it occured to me that it was not just a question of sexual preference or ones inate sence of attraction to one gender or another , ..it also raised the very important issue of ballancing ones material life with ones spiritual life and that there may be every possibility that a well ballanced supportive Gay relationship is no more offensive to God than a well ballanced and supportive hetrosexual relationship ?

what however may be the real problem is one that faces all of us , how do we ballance our material lives with our spiritual lives?

how do we ensure that we form ballanced and supportive relationships ?

how do we overcome extremes of lust and anger ? ... or excessive competitiveness or material ambition ?

how do we find the right ballance ? ...one that is condusive to both our physical wellbeing and our spiritual growth

I think it's managed like any of the other important issues in a relationship such as whether or not to have children, how many, where to live, how much money you like to spend and on what, expectations for social interaction outside the relationship.

It's all made easier (not easy, but easier) if you are dealing with a couple (or a triple or however many) who are good at or at least open to communication. You have to be willing to express your needs and listen to the needs of others.

I suppose being in a relationship with someone who has the same spiritual or religious inclinations helps to, although I can cay from personal experience that it's not necessary. Communication would still be the biggest thing to me.

I'm a more religiously observant person than my husband who also happens to be the one who works outside the home, so on the weekends when I want to go t temple, he's at home relaxing anyway, so there's no time conflict there. It just works out. He also knows and respects what is important for me, and I him. I attend church with him the one or two times he actually goes in a year. It's a couple hours out of my entire year to show him I support his spiritual journey so it hardly qualifies as a compromise.

Like I said, you balance marital life and spiritual life with communication and compromise like so many other things.

 

[Satyamavejayanti]

"ratikala, namaskaram Prabhu ji's

Namaste Mata Ji.

after reading @StarryNightshade ji's recent post ''living as a Gay Hindu '', ...it occured to me that it was not just a question of sexual preference or ones inate sence of attraction to one gender or another , ..it also raised the very important issue of ballancing ones material life with ones spiritual life and that there may be every possibility that a well ballanced supportive Gay relationship is no more offensive to God than a well ballanced and supportive hetrosexual relationship ?

I do not think Homosexuality is offensive to Ishwara, i think some people may find it offensive for reasons unknown to me. Personally i don't care about what people do in their bedrooms, obviously whatever they do if is according to Dharmah and is not Adharmah is fine by me.

what however may be the real problem is one that faces all of us , how do we ballance our material lives with our spiritual lives?

All we have to do is practice our material lives accordingly with Dharmah, and avoid Adharmah.

how do we ensure that we form ballanced and supportive relationships ?

Same as above, Dharmah. And Satya, Santosha and Shraddha will help.

how do we overcome extremes of lust and anger ? ... or excessive competitiveness or material ambition ?

Yoga, there are many different forms of it.

how do we find the right ballance ? ...one that is condusive to both our physical wellbeing and our spiritual growth

I think we should keep just one advise in mind, "Ahimsa Parmo Dharmah", all our Karm should measure up to this basic standard IMHO.

Dhanyavad.

 

[Kirran]

I think the goal is to get rid of the distinction between spiritual and material. Make every effort and goal spiritual, do it all in service.

In some ways I think this can be more difficult for householders than renunciates.

 

[Aupmanyav]

how do we balance our material lives with our spiritual lives ? how do we ensure that we form balanced and supportive relationships ? how do we overcome extremes of lust and anger ? ... or excessive competitiveness or material ambition ? how do we find the right balance ? ... one that is conducive to both our physical well-being and our spiritual growth

By following our Dharma, Ratiben. Dharma is our guide.

In some ways I think this can be more difficult for householders than renunciates.

IMHO, it takes some clear thinking and perseverance. It is just as easy (or as difficult) for the householder as for the renunciate.

 

[StarryNightshade]

I now finally have time to answer this thread.

I think @Fireside_Hindu has the right idea: it's all about communication and compromise.

When I finally have a husband, while it would be ideal to find another Hindu to settle down with, I would be fine with anyone who was religious. Or non-religious even. As long as the communication and willingness to meet each other halfway is there. I'm even willing to be with someone who is not a vegetarian, and I will even cook some meat for them; as long as I use separate cooking utensils. Also, if they wanted beef, they would have to cook it themselves.

I also think @Kirran has the right idea of separating the duality of material and spiritual. There are the obvious means of service to God (seva, devotion, and the like), but even everyday things like work or recreation can be done with service in mind.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

I think the goal is to get rid of the distinction between spiritual and material. Make every effort and goal spiritual, do it all in service.

.

I try to do this will my painting. Some days I feel intimidated by the possibility of making mistakes or I don't know where to begin, but I try to think of my work as part of my sadhana and that makes it easier to let go of my worries.

 

[Kirran]

I try to do this will my painting. Some days I feel intimidated by the possibility of making mistakes or I don't know where to begin, but I try to think of my work as part of my sadhana and that makes it easier to let go of my worries.

Don't do anything. Just watch what God is doing in their guise as you.

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram prabhu ji's

so many nice answers , ....

I think we should keep just one advise in mind, "Ahimsa Parmo Dharmah", all our Karm should measure up to this basic standard IMHO.

jai jai , ....with this focus in mind one will acheive every good virtue effortlessly , ......

and speaking of forming good relationships you say, ....

Dharmah. And Satya, Santosha and Shraddha will help.

Duty , truethfullness , contentment and Faith , ....this is so nice , .....your wife will be so blessed to have such a husband who thinks like this and the husband and wife will be allways happy , ......

but this Shraddha it is not an easy position for many to find , to beleive so strongly that one can trust in the lord completely and surrender ones strong sence of self is not easy , ....and if we look closely at relarionships it is allways this strong sence of self that causes all the problems , .....and also tortures us with desires , ...but it need not be so , if one trusts in ones lord everything will come in its own time , ....



of course when we are young we think like this , ...

In some ways I think this can be more difficult for householders than renunciates.

but with age and experience , one realises that ....

IMHO, it takes some clear thinking and perseverance. It is just as easy (or as difficult) for the householder as for the renunciate.

this is so true , ....with surrender it is just as easy for a housholder to live a happy and ballanced life , by knowing his Dharma his spiritual focus is ever present , .....he can easily over come fruitless destractions and focus on combining his spiritual and devotional life and dovetailing them in to one .

it all boils down to our undersataning of self , ....if we understand the true nature of the self even when we encounter dificulties in life we will find it much easier to cope , ....

I try to do this will my painting. Some days I feel intimidated by the possibility of making mistakes or I don't know where to begin, but I try to think of my work as part of my sadhana and that makes it easier to let go of my worries

....I have experienced this fear especialy that of making mistakes when I first came to paint the temple Deities , ...the fear seemed so much greater than painting our own home Deities , ....Why ? ....Why did I fear making a mistake doing this beautifull seva ? ...I had to ask very carefully of my self why I was so worried , ...did I fear that others would or would not like my work ? ....but then I realised that this seva was no place for personal fears the seva was more important than personal feelings , ...once I took my self out of the equasion and focused on the seva in hand I found my self just asking the Deities how they wanted to be painted (and remembering the gurus instructions and descriptions of how the Deities should be) ...then everything became so much easier , ....then thinking like this I realy began to understand what Sri Krsna was saying when he spoke thus to Arjuna , .....

''But those who always worship Me with exclusive devotion, meditating on My transcendental form , to them I carry what they lack , and I preserve what they have''. Bhagavad Gita , ...Ch ..9 V ..22

Opps , ...9.30 ...now I have to go out side into the material world , ....for another day of interesting encounters , ....a Buddhist would say , .. ''turn all obsticals into the path'' , ...in otherwords all things can become ones sadhana , ...it is how we approach and how we deal with all things that is important not nececarily the outcome , ....

 

[Satyamavejayanti]

"ratikala, namaskaram prabhu ji's

Namaste, Mata Ji,

Duty , truethfullness , contentment and Faith , ....this is so nice , .....your wife will be so blessed to have such a husband who thinks like this and the husband and wife will be allways happy , ......

Dhanyavad for the kind words Mata Ji, It means more when meaningful words are uttered from Mothers, I take this as a blessing you have just added to my Sanskara.

but this Shraddha it is not an easy position for many to find , to beleive so strongly that one can trust in the lord completely and surrender ones strong sence of self is not easy , ....and if we look closely at relarionships it is allways this strong sence of self that causes all the problems , .....and also tortures us with desires , ...but it need not be so , if one trusts in ones lord everything will come in its own time , ....

Yes Shruddha is hard to attain, for me as you already know am not much of a Bhakta, So for me Shruddha is more respect for Ishvara, but in context of relationships i have Shruddha (as both Respect and Faith), not only to wife, but entire family, not only to family but the larger community, not only to community but i try to take Shruddha as far as i can, i have faith and respect for Doctors, Police, Military. Law and order I have faith in, respect my Purohita and Faith in my pundit, and i try my hardest to have AtmaShruddha as well. Of course i let my self down sometimes, mainly because of ignorance and sometimes frustrations which cause me to say/do/think disrespectful things, that i don't mean to do.

Dhanyavad Mata Ji

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram Satyamavejayanti ji, ..

Dhanyavad for the kind words Mata Ji, It means more when meaningful words are uttered from Mothers, I take this as a blessing you have just added to my Sanskara.

you are more than welcome , ...

Yes Shruddha is hard to attain, for me as you already know am not much of a Bhakta, So for me Shruddha is more respect for Ishvara, but in context of relationships i have Shruddha (as both Respect and Faith), not only to wife, but entire family, not only to family but the larger community, not only to community but i try to take Shruddha as far as i can, i have faith and respect for Doctors, Police, Military. Law and order I have faith in, respect my Purohita and Faith in my pundit, and i try my hardest to have AtmaShruddha as well. Of course i let my self down sometimes, mainly because of ignorance and sometimes frustrations which cause me to say/do/think disrespectful things, that i don't mean to do.

Dhanyavad Mata Ji

Shraddha is not the preserve just of Bhaktas , ....Shraddha also shows in those who respect and adhere to Dharma .
.... of course we all fail at times to uphold the standard that we might wish to atain , ....but to be aware of our failings is to be working to rise above them , ....when we fail by ignorance ; 'not knowing' or by acidental lack of control , this to Buddhist reasoning is an incomplete action , it has implications but they are by no way as severe as an act done willfully without respect for Dharma , ....we will all slip into moments of ignorance and frustration for this reason it is the intention that realy matters , ...and that we at least try to make the resolve to avoid these pitfalls where humanly possible , .....


jai jai , ..Dhanyavad prabhu ji Dhanyavad