Being a child and then a father

[openmindedone]

I experienced something really strange the other night. My son called me as i am working away at present and started crying. I asked what was up(hes 12yrs old). He tells me that he does not want Me and my Wife and his sister to die like Grandad did.

Now i calmed hm down and started to explain that his grandad was in lot of pain for many years and that when he died he was at peace.

Now the next thing was very strange. I found that i was starting to explain to him to comfort him that grandad moved to heaven where he is now happy etc. Now i thought after a few seconds what the hell was i telling my boy.

I dont want to lie to him and tell him like i did with father Christmas as when he found out it was us he wasn't happy and cried.

So i thought, then explained the following

"We are in a cycle of life where we are born, grow, become fathers and have children of your own, support your family, become a grandad and he will in time die. He was calming now. I explained that every moment is very precious in life and that we should be happy every day that we have a good family, happy life and that he is a very lucky boy".

I did then chat about religion and that what people believe and he has discussed it at school subsequently. Now he hasn't asked me anything since as i think he is making his own mind up and not bothered any more about it.

Then i realized my father spoke to me exactly the same way when i was a kid. I had that feeling of terror one night in bed, with the realization that someday i would die. I went to my dad and he told me something similar to what i said to my son.

Its funny i looked at my dad and thought i will never be that boring or get his ways or dress like that or act that responsible, how wrong i was i am my father in every way.

Do you tell your son the truth or tell him what you think will help him move on?

 

[Man of Faith]

I told my son the truth, that he must be born again to get to Heaven, and he was. I brought him up in church where Jesus is taught as the only way to Heaven. Now he is a child of God and I don't worry where he will spend eternity.

Some ask "what do you want on your tombstone?" I say "We will meet again."

 

[BucephalusBB]

I will tell him the truth. Or better, what I view as the truth. Specially if he is 12 allready.
I am not sure how (s)he would react ofcourse, as I do not have children. But I actually never had a real discomfort with the way I think of things. I think I would reflect that on my child.

 

[SHANMAC]

Definitely the truth. The potential consequences to you and your son are too great if you feed him a line; especially when it concerns such an important issue. Your father Christmas reference is a case-in-point.

 

[.lava]

Definitely the truth.

agreed but how many ways are there to express one truth?






.

 

[Bware]

I will definitely tell him the truth, or what I view is the truth anyway. I think telling your child something just to make him feel better, is more harmful than good. It can lead to your children mistrusting you when they get a bit older for misleading them when they were young. Sometimes it's hard telling what things that you say or do that will have the biggest impact on your kids. It often times is simple things like this.

Good on you for standing up and telling him the truth:clap

 

[conradxiong]

I will definitely raise my children to be open minded. Educated well enough for them to make their own decision.

 

[whereismynotecard]

I don't have children, but if I did, I wouldn't lie to them about serious things like death. They'll find out you're lying later, and be mad at you.