Being Positive

[dave_]

I am reading a book about how we shape our lives with our thoughts , emotions.I know about the power of positive thinking so i try to be positive.But as time passes destructive thoughts/feelings again creeps in without me noticing i am going to negative.I try to be positive but my default state is negativistic , always expecting the worse.

It is like even though i try to be positive those negativistic energies just get repressed and gets stronger.I just did some meditation an i think because of that my repressed negative feelings surfaced a bit.Actually i am glad those negative feelings surfaced because i now know why i am tense and pessimistic all the time and i feel relieved now.

It is hard trying to adjust your mood all the time.I started meditating but i feel good the day i meditate but other days i am negative again.

I know most people is like me , trying to be optimistic , positive but they have a tendency to negativity.We are always tense because we tend to expect the worse.

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

 

[Laika]

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

I've found some aspects of positive thinking have been helpful with my depression, but I have been somewhat suspicious of it because it often comes with the addition that you should believe something that is false because it makes you happy. For me, that is ultimately dis-empowering.

Don't try to treat "negative" thoughts as something that is wrong. we all feel bad from time to time, and that can be a healthy response to a situation. the trick is finding out what you want to change. "negativity" is stigmatised as "anti-social" because it is assumed that being negative is the same as being hostile. learning to deal with uncomfortable truths, things that are true but we wish weren't, means learning to be more accepting of the world and its imperfections. it is wrong to expect ourselves to be happy all the time. Another part of the stigma is that being "negative" can be considered "unattractive". Whilst it can push people away, in the long-term it is better to be authentic, as people know who you are, trust you- and by respecting yourself and your own feelings, also come to respect you too.

It is like even though i try to be positive those negativistic energies just get repressed and gets stronger.

this may qualify as "intrusive thoughts" which is a compulsion. so repressing it, is not a good idea as it will make it worse. accepting the negative feelings is part of self-love, and learning to unrepress and express them, and recognise the source of that repression, can give you more emotional balance and resilence. learning to accept negative emotions and find ways to improve your situation is actually an important life skill as when you fall, you learn to get back up again and keep trying.

there is a sort of fear of emotions in western societies, and when we feel overwhelmed emotionally, we think we're going "crazy" or are "acting out". people are trained to treat their emotions as something which has to be concealed. it is really unhealthy to be honest, as we are animals and our emotions are part of our "survival kit" in our psyche. its there to tell us to react to something. if we feel there is something wrong, its best to take it into consideration as how you feel is important to your health and well-being.

I think its better to think that "being positive" is less concerned with how you feel, as that stigmatises you with a sense you have to behave a certian way that is artifical and contary to our spontaneous emotions. it makes us passive, vulnerable and sort of a victim as we think getting upset is our fault somehow even when it is the rationsl response. rather, "being positive" is finding ways to be empowered to change the things that make us unhappy. its less about what you feel, and more about what you do with your feelings and how you act on them.

 

[Quetzal]

I am reading a book about how we shape our lives with our thoughts , emotions.

Out of curiosity, what book?

 

[dave_]

Out of curiosity, what book?

It isn't in english but it is said to be like "the Secret".You can look up to that.

 

[Quetzal]

It isn't in english but it is said to be like "the Secret".You can look up to that.

Oh yeah! I have heard of that book but haven't gotten around to it.

 

[allfoak]

I am reading a book about how we shape our lives with our thoughts , emotions.I know about the power of positive thinking so i try to be positive.But as time passes destructive thoughts/feelings again creeps in without me noticing i am going to negative.I try to be positive but my default state is negativistic , always expecting the worse.

It is like even though i try to be positive those negativistic energies just get repressed and gets stronger.I just did some meditation an i think because of that my repressed negative feelings surfaced a bit.Actually i am glad those negative feelings surfaced because i now know why i am tense and pessimistic all the time and i feel relieved now.

It is hard trying to adjust your mood all the time.I started meditating but i feel good the day i meditate but other days i am negative again.

I know most people is like me , trying to be optimistic , positive but they have a tendency to negativity.We are always tense because we tend to expect the worse.

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

[illykitty]

Well, have you always been negative or has it been something that was built up over time?

For me, it's the latter, hence why I have depression. But if you have always been that way, may I ask, is it something you consider a hindrance? Some philosophies harness negativity, as imagining the worse possible situation, it never happens and thus one can be content. But if you want to change, I agree repetition is key. Any message in the mind is a repeated one, regardless if it's true or not. But I'd also caution against thinking that it will solve everything, I tried being really positive once, got everything I wanted but I wasn't ready and it backfired.

I have many false messages in my mind which I need to undo, but it's been built up over many years, thus my brain treats them as truth.

 

[YmirGF]

I am reading a book about how we shape our lives with our thoughts , emotions.I know about the power of positive thinking so i try to be positive.But as time passes destructive thoughts/feelings again creeps in without me noticing i am going to negative.I try to be positive but my default state is negativistic , always expecting the worse.

It is like even though i try to be positive those negativistic energies just get repressed and gets stronger.I just did some meditation an i think because of that my repressed negative feelings surfaced a bit.Actually i am glad those negative feelings surfaced because i now know why i am tense and pessimistic all the time and i feel relieved now.

It is hard trying to adjust your mood all the time.I started meditating but i feel good the day i meditate but other days i am negative again.

I know most people is like me , trying to be optimistic , positive but they have a tendency to negativity.We are always tense because we tend to expect the worse.

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

Hi Dave, I can only echo Laika's excellent post. The only other thing I would add is to take that silly book out back your house, burn it, and forget whatever the morons who wrote it have written. Unless you have impulses to do wildly negative things, just let them happen. If you have impulses to do wildly negative things like rape a plushy toy or kill something and eat its still beating heart then I would suggest that a trip to a certified psychiatrist is in order. If you are having "garden variety" bouts of negativity, simply let 'em rip, babe. It's part of being human and I believe that it is far more dangerous to thwart these impulses than it is to explore them. Now, I'm not suggesting you give them "free reign" and to give into the dark side of negativity, but rather, let them happen, but monitor them and try to understand what is perhaps bringing them to the surface. They could simply be natural reactions to events in your life that you are not too keen on.

@dave_ @Laika

 

[AnnaCzereda]

The only other thing I would add is to take that silly book out back your house, burn it, and forget whatever the morons who wrote it have written.

Yeah, that don't worry be happy pseudo-psychology crap. I read some of this silly stuff when I was young and stupid. When I think of the so-called "positive thinking", this quote comes to my mind:

"Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars."

So what happened to these two men? The one who saw only the mud was so frustrated and displeased with his situation that day and night he was thinking about how to get out of it and carefully planning the escape. Finally, after many long years in prison, he managed to run away. The other guy stayed and continued to contemplate the ****ing stars.

The emotions that we consider negative and want to get rid of because they cause discomfort are there for a reason. Usually, they are a signal that something is wrong with our lives and they motivate us to change it.

 

[YmirGF]

Yeah, that don't worry be happy pseudo-psychology crap. I read some of this silly stuff when I was young and stupid. When I think of the so-called "positive thinking", this quote comes to my mind:

"Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars."

So what happened to these two men? The one who saw only the mud was so frustrated and displeased with his situation that day and night he was thinking about how to get out of it and carefully planning the escape. Finally, after many long years in prison, he managed to run away. The other guy stayed and continued to contemplate the ****ing stars.

The emotions that we consider negative and want to get rid of because they cause discomfort are there for a reason. Usually, they are a signal that something is wrong with our lives and they motivate us to change it.

Spot-fricken-on, Anna!

 

[Twilight Hue]

I am reading a book about how we shape our lives with our thoughts , emotions.I know about the power of positive thinking so i try to be positive.But as time passes destructive thoughts/feelings again creeps in without me noticing i am going to negative.I try to be positive but my default state is negativistic , always expecting the worse.

It is like even though i try to be positive those negativistic energies just get repressed and gets stronger.I just did some meditation an i think because of that my repressed negative feelings surfaced a bit.Actually i am glad those negative feelings surfaced because i now know why i am tense and pessimistic all the time and i feel relieved now.

It is hard trying to adjust your mood all the time.I started meditating but i feel good the day i meditate but other days i am negative again.

I know most people is like me , trying to be optimistic , positive but they have a tendency to negativity.We are always tense because we tend to expect the worse.

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

Need to stop viewing negative feelings as negative.

 

[dave_]

Well, have you always been negative or has it been something that was built up over time?

For me, it's the latter, hence why I have depression. But if you have always been that way, may I ask, is it something you consider a hindrance? Some philosophies harness negativity, as imagining the worse possible situation, it never happens and thus one can be content. But if you want to change, I agree repetition is key. Any message in the mind is a repeated one, regardless if it's true or not. But I'd also caution against thinking that it will solve everything, I tried being really positive once, got everything I wanted but I wasn't ready and it backfired.

I have many false messages in my mind which I need to undo, but it's been built up over many years, thus my brain treats them as truth.

I have always been paranoid a little.Meaning i'd think more negative possibilities than most people.But over years i became so negative that recently (especially after starting a job) i realised i cannot ever relax and i cannot enjoy life.So this much negativity is added later.Before starting to work amongst people i could control my life better because there were less possible threats and i could enjoy life.

 

[dave_]

Yeah, that don't worry be happy pseudo-psychology crap. I read some of this silly stuff when I was young and stupid. When I think of the so-called "positive thinking", this quote comes to my mind:

"Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars."

So what happened to these two men? The one who saw only the mud was so frustrated and displeased with his situation that day and night he was thinking about how to get out of it and carefully planning the escape. Finally, after many long years in prison, he managed to run away. The other guy stayed and continued to contemplate the ****ing stars.

The emotions that we consider negative and want to get rid of because they cause discomfort are there for a reason. Usually, they are a signal that something is wrong with our lives and they motivate us to change it.

It is more like two people tries to escape prison and makes the same plan.One thinks all the time "i won't be able to escape , my plan won't work , i am worthless" etc and other thinks "i can escape here , i will do my best" etc.The former will destruct his/herself even before an attempt to escape.

 

[psychoslice]

Positive thinking is nothing but trying to recondition the mind, the only true way is to drop the mind, to stop thinking so much, for thinking is in the past, and there is no such thing as the past. So we only need to be here, in the NOW, for in the Now we cannot be here, and nowhere else, and therefore there is no suffering.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Negativity can have a seemingly ironclad grip on the psyche. A lot of it has to do with preconditioned thoughts by which negativity is, for some reason or another, viewed as abnormal or somehow shouldn't be there as far as the human experience goes, and therefore needs to be extracted in order for a person to live well and happy.

Once you see and realise negativity for what it is, which plays a normal aspect of what and who we are, the feelings can be better approached and dealt with properly in experiencing the strong reactions whenever cases of negativity crops up.

Its basically abiding with negativity, rather than fighting or pretending that positivity can be somehow perpetually maintained throughout life through various means.

 

[Rick O'Shez]

"the Secret".

The worst kind of new-age nonsense.

 

[Rick O'Shez]

So how can someone make his/her default state positive and avoid getting possesed with negative feelings?

One approach is to recognise that they are just feelings. They come and go, but they don't define who are you are. Trying to get rid of them isn't sensible, though understanding them is worthwhile.

Also you can spend more time thinking about the stuff that inspires you, creating the right conditions for positivity.

 

[Useless2015]

It isn't in english but it is said to be like "the Secret".You can look up to that.