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Best Church for Singles?

K

KeithCristian

Member
My second post here. First one was an introduction one.

A little about me - I'm in my mid 30's and never married. I joined the Mormon/LDS church two years ago. At that time I thought it was a great
church. I was depressed and the church helped me deal with and work my way out of depression. However, I started getting tired of being the only man in the ward not married.

I got so focused on finding a wife I at one time was on four or five different dating sites. I was going crazy looking for a wife. About in November I started getting tired of all this and the LDS church.

So in January I decided to start visiting new churches. I've been to a big Bible church and an Episcopal church.

I'm wanting opinions tho - is there one church that's more inviting to single people than other churches? Is there a church where singles and married are viewed the same? Is there a church that I will feel home in?

Thanks!
 
Charity

Charity

Let's go racing boys !
KeithCristian said:
My second post here. First one was an introduction one.

A little about me - I'm in my mid 30's and never married. I joined the Mormon/LDS church two years ago. At that time I thought it was a great
church. I was depressed and the church helped me deal with and work my way out of depression. However, I started getting tired of being the only man in the ward not married.

I got so focused on finding a wife I at one time was on four or five different dating sites. I was going crazy looking for a wife. About in November I started getting tired of all this and the LDS church.

So in January I decided to start visiting new churches. I've been to a big Bible church and an Episcopal church.

I'm wanting opinions tho - is there one church that's more inviting to single people than other churches? Is there a church where singles and married are viewed the same? Is there a church that I will feel home in?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

Ask yourself "do I really need either one?"
Relax, good things come to those who wait......and wait, and wait...:D
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
Christians are traditionally bad with singles.
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
Not a good place to look for a church.

hahaha

:slap:
 
Draka

Draka

Wonder Woman
First off, you believe what you believe so why shop for a church based on your marital status? If you want to belong to a church then belong to one that is in-line with your beliefs and ideals, not whether or not they are "single-friendly". If you go to a church where the people don't make you feel welcome just based on your marital status alone then perhaps you just don't go to that church. There's always the question of if you even feel it necessary for you to go to a church or if your faith can just be yours and yours alone.

If you sincerely aren't happy being single and want to find someone that is an entirely different thing altogether and it's not churches you need to be thinking about. It's getting yourself out in the mix to meet someone.
 
K

KeithCristian

Member
I wanted God in my life a few years ago. That's why I started going to
a church and still want to go. I think one reason why I was so depressed back then and even now is because I'm lonely. I guess I could go to a bar/bars and clubs but I'm never done that kind of thing. I would rather find a good person in a church. But I'm getting really discouraged. I was going to an LDS therapist. But he's all the way in Indianapolis and I don't feel like driving to Indy and then to north Indy to see him. I could go to the county facility where everyone else goes to see therapists.

So I've been told looking and acting desperate is not pretty. Being desperate in a church that promotes marriage above all other things does not promote peace, at least not in me considering there were no singles my age in the ward. The singles rep didn't do a good job either. There was a singles dance in Indy. I went to church on day and she said - Oh, there was a singles dance in Indy but I don't like dances so that's why I didn't tell you about it!

I hate this life most of the time. I was born in the wrong time. I would have been happier if I was born in the 1800's or before. Even if I only lived till I was 21 or 20 I would have been happier than in this bad life. My life is not bad, it's just that I'm lonely. I don't really have friends except my brothers and sisters. I just joined facebook and had to tell members of the LDS church - I'm on facebook, confirm me as a friend!
 
Mister Emu

Mister Emu

Emu Extraordinaire
Staff member
Premium Member
Keith...

Firstly, you should see a licensed psychologist for your mental issues. I don't know if your LDS therapist is/was one or not, but as you won't go to him, you need to find someone else.

Secondly, no Church should look down on you for being single. Might I suggest you visit your local Catholic parish ;)
 
Draka

Draka

Wonder Woman
KeithCristian said:
I wanted God in my life a few years ago. That's why I started going to
a church and still want to go. I think one reason why I was so depressed back then and even now is because I'm lonely. I guess I could go to a bar/bars and clubs but I'm never done that kind of thing. I would rather find a good person in a church. But I'm getting really discouraged. I was going to an LDS therapist. But he's all the way in Indianapolis and I don't feel like driving to Indy and then to north Indy to see him. I could go to the county facility where everyone else goes to see therapists.

So I've been told looking and acting desperate is not pretty. Being desperate in a church that promotes marriage above all other things does not promote peace, at least not in me considering there were no singles my age in the ward. The singles rep didn't do a good job either. There was a singles dance in Indy. I went to church on day and she said - Oh, there was a singles dance in Indy but I don't like dances so that's why I didn't tell you about it!

I hate this life most of the time. I was born in the wrong time. I would have been happier if I was born in the 1800's or before. Even if I only lived till I was 21 or 20 I would have been happier than in this bad life. My life is not bad, it's just that I'm lonely. I don't really have friends except my brothers and sisters. I just joined facebook and had to tell members of the LDS church - I'm on facebook, confirm me as a friend!
Click to expand...

Bars and clubs aren't the only places to meet people. In fact, most people don't actually meet up in bars or clubs. It's not as much about the where as it is about the attitude. You have to be willing to just strike up conversation anywhere at any time. See a woman who sparks your interest standing in line at the cable company to pay a bill? Make a comment about their rates or how you like the movies On-Demand and what movies you last saw. Ask a lady in the grocery store if she thinks one brand of something or other is better than another. Do you have any issue with a woman who may be a single mother? If not and you have neices or nephews bring them up as conversation starter. You don't have to go to mixers, clubs, dances, or what have you to meet someone. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there and strike up conversation. Some conversations may not lead anywhere, but some might and she might really enjoy talking to you. This goes for online as well. Dating sites aren't the only way to go about things. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now and we have 2 kids together too and we met in a Wicca chatroom. If the religion or spirituality of a woman is important to you then perhaps you could look for a chatroom for LDS and start chatting there. Someone seems interesting to you then you can PM them and have a private conversation.

Most importantly though, while you may feel lonely you shouldn't let that define you. There is nothing wrong with seeing a counselor to talk through your issues and concerns at the same time you're putting yourself into the mix. In fact, it may be best as while you are getting yourself out there you don't want to appear too desperate. Truth is, relationships and love don't usually come when you're trying, they come when you're not looking. If you get yourself in the habit of being social then you just might find yourself talking the woman of your dreams without even realizing it and it could take on a life of its own. Never underestimate the power of idle chatting. ;)
 
xkatz

xkatz

Well-Known Member
Don't be distraught just b/c you can't find someone. It takes time and effort. Also maybe you should consider looking outside of church for a relationship.
 
K

KeithCristian

Member
And the Preachers daughter today just sent me an email saying she's dumping me after three dates because there's no romance between us. After three dates she wants romance? What's she saying - she does not find me handsome? She wants to kiss after three dates?
 
Draka

Draka

Wonder Woman
If you've had 3 dates and not so much as a kiss goodnight then I'd say there was a lack of chemistry/romance.
 
H

Humanistheart

Well-Known Member
KeithCristian said:
My second post here. First one was an introduction one.

A little about me - I'm in my mid 30's and never married. I joined the Mormon/LDS church two years ago. At that time I thought it was a great
church. I was depressed and the church helped me deal with and work my way out of depression. However, I started getting tired of being the only man in the ward not married.

I got so focused on finding a wife I at one time was on four or five different dating sites. I was going crazy looking for a wife. About in November I started getting tired of all this and the LDS church.

So in January I decided to start visiting new churches. I've been to a big Bible church and an Episcopal church.

I'm wanting opinions tho - is there one church that's more inviting to single people than other churches? Is there a church where singles and married are viewed the same? Is there a church that I will feel home in?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

Go with a catholic or protestant church and you will get laid.
 
K

KeithCristian

Member
I emailed the Unitarian Universalist church that's about twenty minutes away from me. I asked what their church believes in and if they believe in God. I got a reply saying - Hi, my name is XXX XXX. I'm not the best person to answer your question because I'm not a member but Ive worked for and with many members of the church and can say they are very nice people."

What's the deal? I found their website and thought I emailed the church. I get an email apparently from a non member. lol. Crazy.
 
D

Druswid

Member
Keith... I think you're going about things the wrong way. Church isn't about being a singles club, you go to church to be closer to God. Granted, it's possible you could find someone to be with in any given church of your choosing, but still. What you need to do is join some sort of social network or activities club, one for singles, or just for anybody. Chances are, there will be other singles in whatever club you choose, just so long as it's not a D&D club full of people wearing wizard robes and hats. That probably won't help. As for your issues... find another therapist. Or talk to your brothers and sisters, they might be able to help. Of course, being lonely can be a problem if you perceive it as so, and it weighs on you. I don't have many friends, but don't consider myself lonely. I get along with almost everyone I meet, it's just that I'm more of a solitary person and don't mind being by myself.
 
Terrywoodenpic

Terrywoodenpic

Oldest Heretic
KeithCristian said:
My second post here. First one was an introduction one.

A little about me - I'm in my mid 30's and never married. I joined the Mormon/LDS church two years ago. At that time I thought it was a great
church. I was depressed and the church helped me deal with and work my way out of depression. However, I started getting tired of being the only man in the ward not married.

I got so focused on finding a wife I at one time was on four or five different dating sites. I was going crazy looking for a wife. About in November I started getting tired of all this and the LDS church.

So in January I decided to start visiting new churches. I've been to a big Bible church and an Episcopal church.

I'm wanting opinions tho - is there one church that's more inviting to single people than other churches? Is there a church where singles and married are viewed the same? Is there a church that I will feel home in?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

There are many different Episcopal/Anglican Churches... Those that are members of the Anglican Communion are more likely to be Liberal, as most extreme Conservative ones have seperated over the years.

The family unit is extremely important to the LDS and as you found most marry young.
This is far from the case in the Anglican church, and whist family units are important they are not any more important than individuals of either sex... there is certainly no pressure at all to get married. Singles often find important parts to play in the church.
 
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