Bilingual fun

[SomeRandom]

So I won’t pretend that I am fluent in any language other than English.
That said, I do know just enough Fijian Hindi to have a bit of fun as well.

I remember years ago at my old job I accidentally passed over a customer. Not intentional by any means but she reported me to my manager and thought I was being racist. Well after I assured my manager that I was in fact of Indian origin (using my mother’s maiden tongue, somewhat awfully, to their shock) I managed to worn my way out of any disciplinary action. Much to the amusement of my coworkers, who were fully aware of my heritage.
(I am actually pretty white, ngl. So people are often shocked when I reveal my actual heritage to them. And yeah I often have fun with that aspect. I’m so going to hell you guys lol)

I remember once as a kid I was visiting my cousins in Fiji and my mother went somewhere. Anyway some guys were insulting me and my father in Hindi. My father, who was a white man, didn’t have the slightest clue about what they were saying. I, as a naive kid at the time, translated their insults to him. Much to their shock. They profusely apologised and quickly left. Ahh memories

What about you? Any stories to tell?
Anyone you caught out?
Comment below and let me know!!!

 

[Heyo]

So I won’t pretend that I am fluent in any language other than English.
That said, I do know just enough Fijian Hindi to have a bit of fun as well.

I remember years ago at my old job I accidentally passed over a customer. Not intentional by any means but she reported me to my manager and thought I was being racist. Well after I assured my manager that I was in fact of Indian origin (using my mother’s maiden tongue, somewhat awfully, to their shock) I managed to worn my way out of any disciplinary action. Much to the amusement of my coworkers, who were fully aware of my heritage.
(I am actually pretty white, ngl. So people are often shocked when I reveal my actual heritage to them. And yeah I often have fun with that aspect. I’m so going to hell you guys lol)

I remember once as a kid I was visiting my cousins in Fiji and my mother went somewhere. Anyway some guys were insulting me and my father in Hindi. My father, who was a white man, didn’t have the slightest clue about what they were saying. I, as a naive kid at the time, translated their insults to him. Much to their shock. They profusely apologised and quickly left. Ahh memories

What about you? Any stories to tell?
Anyone you caught out?
Comment below and let me know!!!

Just recently a friend wanted me to look up a trio of comedians, Foil, Arms and Hog.
I typed it in and wasn't sure about "Hog". She said "wie Igel" - I heard "like eagle" (They sound the same) and typed "Hawk" (easy to conflate with "Hog"). Turned out she meant hedgehog (which is "Igel" in German). Found the sketch:

 

[Estro Felino]

That scene you told reminded me of one of the most iconic movies about language barriers: Spanglish.

When it came out, in 2005, I had successfully studied Spanish, and I used to fully comprehend the Spanish parts much more than the English parts.

- What about hypocritical?
- Que dijo?
- Ipocrita.

 

[Estro Felino]

Just recently a friend wanted me to look up a trio of comedians, Foil, Arms and Hog.
I typed it in and wasn't sure about "Hog". She said "wie Igel" - I heard "like eagle" (They sound the same) and typed "Hawk" (easy to conflate with "Hog"). Turned out she meant hedgehog (which is "Igel" in German). Found the sketch:

Really? Is Brexit really that despised in Germany?

When Brexit happened, we celebrated.

 

[Heyo]

Really? Is Brexit really that despised in Germany?

When Brexit happened, we celebrated.

Yep. Because you now can "test" Brits who want to immigrate.

 

[Viker]

¿Por qué la gallina cruzó la calle?

Someone tried to get me with that. I replied, "to get away from Colonel Sanders". Mexican was amused.

 

[Estro Felino]

Yep. Because you now can "test" Brits who want to immigrate.

That was a funny video.
By the way...here in Italy British citizens don't need any visa. Anything. Nothing's changed.

Brexit was liked here because it made people like Juncker and Verhofstadt suffer. That's why.
Schadenfreude, .

 

[Heyo]

Die Englisch soans komisch, zu "e" soagens "i", zu "i" soagens "Ei", zu "Ei" soagens "Egg", zu "Egg" soagens "koaner" und zu "koaner" sagens "nobody".

(That's "fränkisch", a German dialect where many words are very similarly pronounced as English words but have a very different meaning, though the first three apply also in high German.)

 

[ChristineM]

I'm a Brit from Lancaster living in the south west of France. I speak pretty good French with a broad Lancashire accent. It causes a little confusion and a lot of laughs among the French who'd rather be speaking Occitan.

When i first moved here i popped into the local shop, bought my goods from the rather dishy shop owner and rather than say "merci beaucoup" what came out of my mouth was "merci beaucul"

Although beaucul doesn't exist beau and cul do, I'd just told the guy who has become a good friend that he has a nice arse

 

[Harel13]

What about you? Any stories to tell?

There's some Israeli urban legend that a couple of Israeli guys were once on a subway in New York and a heavyset woman got onboard. The two mocked her behind her back and said in Hebrew: "Look at that cow" (tir'u et ha'parah ha'zot - תראו את הפרה הזאת). She apparently didn't take notice, until she was about to get off her stop, and she turned to them and said: "Moooooo!"

As for me, I don't really have much interesting bilingual stories, but there was one time I was asked for directions by some tourists. They asked in Hebrew. For some reason, without thinking, I automatically replied in English. They were surprised.

 

[ChristineM]

As for me, I don't really have much interesting bilingual stories, but there was one time I was asked for directions by some tourists. They asked in Hebrew. For some reason, without thinking, I automatically replied in English. They were surprised.

This reminds me of an incident a couple of years ago. I was brushing the path at the front of our house when a tourist asked me in frenglish (halting French with much English) "Could vous informez moi le way a Cenac s'il vous plaît?"

I answed in English "go to the end of the village turn left, after about four kilometres you come to a t-junction, left again and Cenac is about five kilometres"

She replied in English "oh thank you so much, and may i say, your English is very good"

It made my day ;-)

 

[Heyo]

There's some Israeli urban legend that a couple of Israeli guys were once on a subway in New York and a heavyset woman got onboard. The two mocked her behind her back and said in Hebrew: "Look at that cow" (tir'u it ha'parah ha'zot - תראו את הפרה הזאת). She apparently didn't take notice, until she was about to get off her stop, and she turned to them and said: "Moooooo!"

As for me, I don't really have much interesting bilingual stories, but there was one time I was asked for directions by some tourists. They asked in Hebrew. For some reason, without thinking, I automatically replied in English. They were surprised.

I was under the false impression (just looked it up) that English is an officially recognized language in Israel. I never met or saw on TV or in documentaries an Israeli who didn't speak English.

 

[Harel13]

I was under the false impression (just looked it up) that English is an officially recognized language in Israel. I never met or saw on TV or in documentaries an Israeli who didn't speak English.

Israel only has two official languages; Hebrew and Arabic. That said, English is taught in school because it's the current international language. But a lot of Israelis aren't that good at it.

 

[Revoltingest]

My bro-in-law (from Iran) was teaching a course,
& asked his students to "take out a piece of sheet".

My mother-in-law (from China) wanted to describe her
hubby as "portly", but called him "porky". Very funny.

 

[ChristineM]

My bro-in-law (from Iran) was teaching a course,
& asked his students to "take out a piece of sheet".
.

We had Spanish exchange students when we were in England. One very cheeky 15 year old delighted on saying "Oh sheet" and falling about in giggles.

 

[Vee]

among the French who'd rather be speaking Occitan.

And that alone is it's own language

 

[Vee]

What about you? Any stories to tell?
Anyone you caught out?
Comment below and let me know!!!

Plenty. I've had people I surprised by answering back in Portuguese or Spanish, people who could never guess my nationality based on my accent, etc. But the one that always surprises me is english speakers who don't realize they are not speaking some exotic language and most people actually understand what they're saying.

 

[ChristineM]

And that alone is it's own language

Similar but so different. All the road signs around here and the Lot are bilingual, French and in smaller print Occitan. Some of the (unfortunately dwindling) older generation would prefer to use Occitan rather than French so "ai escotat un pauc".

 

[Audie]

So I won’t pretend that I am fluent in any language other than English.
That said, I do know just enough Fijian Hindi to have a bit of fun as well.

I remember years ago at my old job I accidentally passed over a customer. Not intentional by any means but she reported me to my manager and thought I was being racist. Well after I assured my manager that I was in fact of Indian origin (using my mother’s maiden tongue, somewhat awfully, to their shock) I managed to worn my way out of any disciplinary action. Much to the amusement of my coworkers, who were fully aware of my heritage.
(I am actually pretty white, ngl. So people are often shocked when I reveal my actual heritage to them. And yeah I often have fun with that aspect. I’m so going to hell you guys lol)

I remember once as a kid I was visiting my cousins in Fiji and my mother went somewhere. Anyway some guys were insulting me and my father in Hindi. My father, who was a white man, didn’t have the slightest clue about what they were saying. I, as a naive kid at the time, translated their insults to him. Much to their shock. They profusely apologised and quickly left. Ahh memories

What about you? Any stories to tell?
Anyone you caught out?
Comment below and let me know!!!

Does pretending you are not bilingual
count?
In the USA dealt with guys' pick -up lines
by looking puzzled and responding in
Cantonese. Got rid of evangelicals that
way too.

 

[Sirona]

So I won’t pretend that I am fluent in any language other than English.
That said, I do know just enough Fijian Hindi to have a bit of fun as well.

I remember years ago at my old job I accidentally passed over a customer. Not intentional by any means but she reported me to my manager and thought I was being racist. Well after I assured my manager that I was in fact of Indian origin (using my mother’s maiden tongue, somewhat awfully, to their shock) I managed to worn my way out of any disciplinary action. Much to the amusement of my coworkers, who were fully aware of my heritage.
(I am actually pretty white, ngl. So people are often shocked when I reveal my actual heritage to them. And yeah I often have fun with that aspect. I’m so going to hell you guys lol)

I remember once as a kid I was visiting my cousins in Fiji and my mother went somewhere. Anyway some guys were insulting me and my father in Hindi. My father, who was a white man, didn’t have the slightest clue about what they were saying. I, as a naive kid at the time, translated their insults to him. Much to their shock. They profusely apologised and quickly left. Ahh memories

What about you? Any stories to tell?
Anyone you caught out?
Comment below and let me know!!!

On a holiday trip, I had to simultaneously translate the recorded description of the guided tour on an excursion boat for my parents, who don't speak French (so I didn't have any time to think about the translation). We passed a couple of the Camargue's famous horses and I translated that the horses had chickens (poulets) instead of foals (poulains) as offspring. Then we passed a deserted landscape and I translated that there were "hunters from Africa", which was the literal translation of the nickname of a small species of birds (European bee-eater - Wikipedia). So my parents were on the lookout for Africans. French people present who spoke German well must have been very amused. One of them then offered my father a pair of binoculars in German.

I noticed that French people who speak foreign languages often hide this ability because they want you to address them in their own language (first).