Body image

[MysticSang'ha]

What hurts a woman's body image? What empowers a woman's body image? How does a culture's habits and norms impact a woman and how she sees herself? What is a culture's responsibility toward a woman's image?

Feel free to share personal stories of struggle and triumph.

 

[savagewind]

I think what hurts a woman's body image most is her own opinion of it. I believe a person's opinion about how she looks is developed over time and is complicated. I think the more a woman feels loved, the more beautiful she thinks she is.

I feel much better about myself when I like my hair style.

 

[Titanic]

Having the body of a say Kate Upton couldn't hurt I suppose. Seriously though sometimes its just hard to feel good about ones self. Us men too...

 

[Rakhel]

I think the constant changing in what is Plus size. It used to be 16 and over was Plus. Then it dropped to 14 and now it's 10, IIRC.
I remember getting into a Craigslist argument with some guy that was looking for girls under the size of 12 everything over that was a Plus size.
I also disagree with the BMIs. A friend's daughter is a skinny as a weed but has upper body muscles. However her BMI had her being overweight.
And I don't know if anyone remembers this, but not too long ago Lane Bryant had an ad pulled because the model was wearing lingerie, yet they have an hour long Prime Time show for Victoria's Secrets with some 20-30 models wearing bras and underwear.
As a society, we put too much emphasis on skinny is beautiful. We forget that not everyone can or will be skinny. Some of us are a little heavier and don't always like big flower prints or maumaus or big *** polka dots

On the plus side, at least the modeling agencies are using the BMIs to make sure their models aren't sickly thin.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I'd been advised since ever I could remember by doctors to gain weight. I was always also advised by dance teachers, directors, and a few audience members to lose weight. What I'd found is that dancers are not the only ones who experience this health vs image dilemma, but I found it at a maddening level.

So, check this out...one dance company used to have a height/weight chart that was deemed acceptable for dancers to abide by. At 4'11", the company had as acceptable weights to be between 85-102 pounds. When I'd be at the hospital or at the doctors, they'd tell me that 102 pounds is at the low end and I was actually consistently underweight. Then they'd point to my blood pressure, my thyroid, liver function, digestive issues as evidence.

So then I'd go back to the show directors and coaches and teachers and they'd tell me that doctors aren't trying to get me a job on stage. So, I have to make a choice as to what I need to do....be healthy, or be employed.

Everybody knew that starving oneself is a health risk, but when an audience expects ballerinas to be thin and sinewy, and not muscular or "bulky", you run into a problem of how to manage a dance company that relies on the ability of the dancers to work while staying marginally healthy.

I remember once I went in to the doctor's office as a check up. He asked me, "How are you feeling?" I'd tell him I felt great. But then I said I was upset that I gained 10 pounds and what that would mean for my career. But he was really happy that I'd gained weight and kept telling me that I was supposed to weigh that much. And yet I was still depressed.

I know. It's crazy. I live with an extremely skewed body image.

 

[savagewind]

Everybody knew that starving oneself is a health risk, but when an audience expects ballerinas to be thin and sinewy, and not muscular or "bulky", you run into a problem of how to manage a dance company that relies on the ability of the dancers to work while staying marginally healthy.

Do you believe it is really what the audience expects, or is it the artistic director who likes it that way? What about you? Does a dance look better to you when you see no fat? I am not talking about chubby fat. I am talking about any fat, or not sinewy.

 

[dgirl1986]

What hurts a woman's body image? What empowers a woman's body image? How does a culture's habits and norms impact a woman and how she sees herself? What is a culture's responsibility toward a woman's image?

Feel free to share personal stories of struggle and triumph.

My body image has mainly been hurt by the people around me. Society and medias views on how a womans body should be was still an influence but it was not as big.

I think it would be better if our culture was more aimed at health and good self image rather than dog eat dog and vanity.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Do you believe it is really what the audience expects, or is it the artistic director who likes it that way? What about you? Does a dance look better to you when you see no fat? I am not talking about chubby fat. I am talking about any fat, or not sinewy.

A reviewer caught some, but not alot, of flack when he said the New York Ballet's "Sugar Plum Fairy" looked like she had one too many sugar plums. There wasn't that much of an uproar, though other reviewers mentioned that the review was rather tasteless, I don't know of any other reviewers that gave a rebuttal that mentioned anything about how ballet dancers are beautiful regardless of body type.

In other words, the reaction to the reviewers note about a ballet dancers body was pretty much, "Meh, not really a cool thing to say, but what do you expect?"

I've cast overweight dancers in shows, and I've been in audiences in shows with overweight dancers. The reaction is extreme. Either people are very supportive, or they are very hostile. So, yes, I don't think it's unrealistic to say that thin dancers are what audiences expect. It's a cultural norm, and one I would like to see changed.

 

[dgirl1986]

A reviewer caught some, but not alot, of flack when he said the New York Ballet's "Sugar Plum Fairy" looked like she had one too many sugar plums. There wasn't that much of an uproar, though other reviewers mentioned that the review was rather tasteless, I don't know of any other reviewers that gave a rebuttal that mentioned anything about how ballet dancers are beautiful regardless of body type.

In other words, the reaction to the reviewers note about a ballet dancers body was pretty much, "Meh, not really a cool thing to say, but what do you expect?"

I've cast overweight dancers in shows, and I've been in audiences in shows with overweight dancers. The reaction is extreme. Either people are very supportive, or they are very hostile. So, yes, I don't think it's unrealistic to say that thin dancers are what audiences expect. It's a cultural norm, and one I would like to see changed.

I have never understood the expectation that dancers be thin or skinny. It should be more about their fitness and ability to do the moves right?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

A reviewer caught some, but not alot, of flack when he said the New York Ballet's "Sugar Plum Fairy" looked like she had one too many sugar plums. There wasn't that much of an uproar, though other reviewers mentioned that the review was rather tasteless, I don't know of any other reviewers that gave a rebuttal that mentioned anything about how ballet dancers are beautiful regardless of body type.

In other words, the reaction to the reviewers note about a ballet dancers body was pretty much, "Meh, not really a cool thing to say, but what do you expect?"

I've cast overweight dancers in shows, and I've been in audiences in shows with overweight dancers. The reaction is extreme. Either people are very supportive, or they are very hostile. So, yes, I don't think it's unrealistic to say that thin dancers are what audiences expect. It's a cultural norm, and one I would like to see changed.

I went to my friend's daughter's dance recital recently. In their more senior group (older teenagers), there was one girl who was overweight. She danced really well (and in several disciplines, too) but I couldn't help thinking that she probably had an uphill battle ahead of her if she wanted to keep on pursuing dance seriously.

 

[DallasApple]

((((HUGS))))) Mystic.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Aw, thanks y'all.

Not fishing for compliments, mind you. When I want compliments I usually am quite direct about it.

If it's any consolation, my daughter has absolutely no self-image issues. None. Nada. Not a single one. She never has cried looking at herself, or complained about something about her, or seen herself as ugly or fat or dumpy or weird, etc. All she's asked is if she's "curvy" from time to time, but she's asked in a way that she's fascinated with the change/difference in her body from when she was a little girl to now a physically developed young woman.

See, that makes me smile. At her age, I was a wreck, always saying how much I hated how I looked. She does simple grooming, and has no desire for make-up except for the occasional cosplay or goth-look. I would hope for her sake that continues.

 

[Penumbra]

What hurts a woman's body image? What empowers a woman's body image? How does a culture's habits and norms impact a woman and how she sees herself? What is a culture's responsibility toward a woman's image?

Feel free to share personal stories of struggle and triumph.

Where I work, there is a group of men that discuss in detail the physical appearance of new female employees when they think nobody is overhearing them. They discuss individual body parts and then rank overall on a scale of 1-10.

 

[DallasApple]

Where I work, there is a group of men that discuss in detail the physical appearance of new female employees when they think nobody is overhearing them. They discuss individual body parts and then rank overall on a scale of 1-10.

Been there heard that.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Where I work, there is a group of men that discuss in detail the physical appearance of new female employees when they think nobody is overhearing them. They discuss individual body parts and then rank overall on a scale of 1-10.

Yes! when I'm at work and 3 guys are in the room, I will hear "yeah this new person is well fit isn't it?"
"and (blank) is well fit also isn't it?"
And their opinion of other women who work for us, the sad thing is these guys are in their mid 30's and the women they are usually talking about are 18/19
It's really sad.
They don't go into detail though, but that may be because there are always women in the room.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

When I was 15 I thought I was fat, and other times being a teenager I wanted to be fatter cause I thought is was sexier, I'm fine with my weight now.
I've also been through a phase of wanting to be whiter, not anymore though.
I've hated my hair for being too bushy, I'm fine with my hair now.
I still hate my eyes for not being symmetrical (I have one eye a bit bigger then the other) and although it's not noticeable to other people, I hate it and haven't been able to shake it yet.
Hate my teeth too.
I hate getting spots.
Yeah just those 3 things. :/

 

[Sunstone]

Where I work, there is a group of men that discuss in detail the physical appearance of new female employees when they think nobody is overhearing them. They discuss individual body parts and then rank overall on a scale of 1-10.

So far as I know, that's never been considered appropriate in some circles, at least. My mother raised me not to do that, and she was so old fashioned as to be practically Victorian in some ways.

 

[Sunstone]

I still hate my eyes for not being symmetrical (I have one eye a bit bigger then the other) and although it's not noticeable to other people, I hate it and haven't been able to shake it yet.
Hate my teeth too.
I hate getting spots.
Yeah just those 3 things. :/

Those are just marks of character. They're what make a person interesting to others. I dabble in portrait painting and so called "perfection" sucks as a subject. Give me a crooked nose and I'm happy.

 

[dgirl1986]

Where I work, there is a group of men that discuss in detail the physical appearance of new female employees when they think nobody is overhearing them. They discuss individual body parts and then rank overall on a scale of 1-10.

Yeah I have overheard one of the guys at work saying he was basically going to employ this woman because she was the hottest candidate and the floor could use some eye candy...

 

[Penumbra]

Yes! when I'm at work and 3 guys are in the room, I will hear "yeah this new person is well fit isn't it?"
"and (blank) is well fit also isn't it?"
And their opinion of other women who work for us, the sad thing is these guys are in their mid 30's and the women they are usually talking about are 18/19
It's really sad.
They don't go into detail though, but that may be because there are always women in the room.

I guess the trade-off is that the group of guys I know do it when they believe they are alone, but then they go into much detail because of their perceived privacy amongst themselves. The problem is that sometimes they don't know who is in the next room and how far their conversation travels.

So it makes it kind of awkward that I work with people for which I know exactly what number they rate me on a scale of 1-10, with decimal points, and what they think of my breast size, face, build, etc.

So far as I know, that's never been considered appropriate in some circles, at least. My mother raised me not to do that, and she was so old fashioned as to be practically Victorian in some ways.

Yeah, not all guys do it. In the fairly small sample size where I work, none of the women do it, and about a third of the men do it. I've had friends in high school or college where we've talked between ourselves about a particular guy being hot or cute, but never really in a negative way, or going into much physical detail.

My bf and I have done this thing where we've talked about which celebrities we think are hot, when watching a movie or something.