Can Faith Exacerbate Illness?

[Christophilos]

I have a problem. I want to believe, I want to be a Christian, and I want to know God. But when I try to believe, try to have faith in Christ and His sacrifice, I feel like I'm trying to force something inside me thats dead. I feel...nothing. I pray, and I read the Bible, but I don't feel like I've really managed this belief. In fact, I don't think I really know what belief is.

And then there is the illness. The more I think about faith, about God and believing, the more my head feels...strange. Eventually (this has happened many times) it feels so strangely numb inside my skull that I want to stab it. Shortly after this I generally sink into a nasty depression (I'm bipolar). Why is this attempt at faith making me ill? Is it not a worthy endeavour? Am I condemned by Hebrews 6 for my inconstancies?

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. (Hebrews 6:1-6)

I could really do with some help here.

 

[millerrod]

This has helped for many in your position. Turn to 1Cor.13:4-7 in the Bible this defines and gives the manners--chacteristics of Love there are 12 of them write them down on a small note card you can carry with you and in all things you do what you say how you deside to do something , in everything you do with your mind or hands follow these chacteristics of Love try hard not to step on them and go against them. If you will do this you will be walking--living in Gods Love and God is Love. when you abide in Gods Love you are right with him you will quickly within days see a change in how you feel. be prepared for lots of tears this is normal. this is real advice that will work and cannot fail if you are willing to go there it will bring you closer to God than you can imagine. is it easy ? no is it woth it ? yes most definitly.
If you dont mind giving me your first name i would like to pray for you if thats ok Brother Rod

 

[Starfish]

This has helped for many in your position. Turn to 1Cor.13:4-7 in the Bible this defines and gives the manners--chacteristics of Love there are 12 of them write them down on a small note card you can carry with you and in all things you do what you say how you deside to do something , in everything you do with your mind or hands follow these chacteristics of Love try hard not to step on them and go against them. If you will do this you will be walking--living in Gods Love and God is Love. when you abide in Gods Love you are right with him you will quickly within days see a change in how you feel. be prepared for lots of tears this is normal. this is real advice that will work and cannot fail if you are willing to go there it will bring you closer to God than you can imagine. is it easy ? no is it woth it ? yes most definitly.
If you dont mind giving me your first name i would like to pray for you if thats ok Brother Rod

I love this advice. These are some of my favorite scriptures too. Due to your illness, your struggle is more complicated than most of ours. Please remember, whether you believe or not, God is your father; you are his child. He loves you dearly. He wants to help and bless you. Focus on those scriptures in Corinthians and also pray. When you pray, talk to your father. Tell him your problems. Keep trying. He's there and he's listening.

 

[gnomon]

I have a problem. I want to believe, I want to be a Christian, and I want to know God. But when I try to believe, try to have faith in Christ and His sacrifice, I feel like I'm trying to force something inside me thats dead. I feel...nothing. I pray, and I read the Bible, but I don't feel like I've really managed this belief. In fact, I don't think I really know what belief is.

And then there is the illness. The more I think about faith, about God and believing, the more my head feels...strange. Eventually (this has happened many times) it feels so strangely numb inside my skull that I want to stab it. Shortly after this I generally sink into a nasty depression (I'm bipolar). Why is this attempt at faith making me ill? Is it not a worthy endeavour? Am I condemned by Hebrews 6 for my inconstancies?

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. (Hebrews 6:1-6)

I could really do with some help here.

Honestly, it sounds like you are uncomfortable with your faith. Or, it's probable that the bipolar is exacerbating those doubts. I know personally how this can lead to a tremendous level of anxiety.

It is not my place to question your faith. Even though I guess I just did. However, my own experience with bipolar leads me to offer the advice of seeking help mainly from a support group of individuals who also suffer from bipolar as well as guidance from those in your faith.

I went from Baptist to atheist and it would be a lie to state that my own experience with illness was not a factor in that transformation. I do know many others who suffered the same but it did not affect their faith.

I hope all is well and definitely recommend seeking some kind of help.