Celibacy

[PoetPhilosopher]

Recently, I made some posts about poetry, some of which were about past relationships and how they didn't work out. I then wrote a thread in Journals saying that I thought this might indicate something - that I need higher standards.

But now, I've been thinking about a form of celibacy that involves not getting married ever. I find it hard to find people who are interested in gender fluid people like myself, and I feel like I don't fit into the binary expectations of society. I think my time would be better spent elsewhere, such as on my career, my hobbies, and my personal growth. I also think I would save money by not having to pay for subscriptions to dating sites, which often don't cater to my identity and preferences.

Some people might argue that if I live alone, no one will take care of me later in life. But I think that's what healthcare is basically for. Besides, having someone else in your life doesn't mean you don't have to take care of yourself. It can also means you have to take care of them, which can be stressful and exhausting. In that light, I don't think I need another person to complete me or make me happy.

What are your thoughts on celibacy?

 

[Secret Chief]

Whatever suits. Don't bend to society's perceived expectations on how you live your life. You are whole without another half.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I think you have choices to make on what you think would be best for you.

But I think it's important not to confuse celibacy with asceticism. While it's true that ascetics are commonly celibate, not all celibates are ascetic. The reason I say this is I find it concerning that you feel just because one chooses celibacy that they will live alone and have no one to take care of them.

So I think it's important to ask yourself if you are choosing celibacy for the right reason, or choosing asceticism for the wrong one.

 

[ChristineM]

@Snow White

The choice is yours.

At some time in the future you choose for yourself there me be a surprise in that that perfect person may turn up. Or maybe not, in the words of someone 'lifes a crap shoot'

All the best either way

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

The reason I say this is I find it concerning that you feel just because one chooses celibacy that they will live alone and have no one to take care of them.

It could happen that way, but I wasn't necessarily saying that, just tackling an argument someone else I talked to about it said:

Some people might argue that if I live alone, no one will take care of me later in life.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

What are your thoughts on celibacy?

Celibacy won't hurt you, but leaving the door open to what might happen in future might possibly prove rewarding, too. Sometimes, these days, it seems the problem that many people have is trying too hard to "be like everybody else." So, everybody's dating, I should date. Everybody's "doing it," so I should be, too. Everybody's getting married -- wait, look around; not everybody.

Be you, and be open to further adventure and happiness, should they happen to come along.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

At some time in the future you choose for yourself there me be a surprise in that that perfect person may turn up.

Maybe.

But I'm starting to see such a thing as an abstract concept, considering a lot of married people have a lot to vent about in the married life.

 

[ChristineM]

Maybe.

But I'm starting to see such a thing as an abstract concept, considering a lot of married people have a lot to vent about in the married life.

I don't, i couldn't be more content. Maybe im weird...

Marriage isn't compulsory anyway.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

What are your thoughts on celibacy?

I think of celibacy as abstention from sex rather than a decision to live alone.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I think of celibacy as abstention from sex rather than a decision to live alone.

That's usually what it means, however in this case, I was using the definition of it as not getting married.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I appreciate all the comments and perspectives that have been shared so far in this thread. I'm still considering both sides of the issue, but I have to admit that it's kind of impossible to logically determine whether it's worth the effort to keep one's options open when it often feels like 97% of people would pass up a gender fluid person if given the option.

 

[ChristineM]

3% of the population is a huge number of people.

 

[Nakosis]

What are your thoughts on celibacy?

So, would you no longer need a gender identity?
I mean you could have one but it would seem to me to be without purpose. Usually gender identity stuff is done to attract a mate.

To then go through life genderless would seem the logical thing to do. I don't know how one would go about that or if even it'd be beneficial.

 

[Secret Chief]

I appreciate all the comments and perspectives that have been shared so far in this thread. I'm still considering both sides of the issue, but I have to admit that it's kind of impossible to logically determine whether it's worth the effort to keep one's options open when it often feels like 97% of people would pass up a gender fluid person if given the option.

Try being a vegan buddhist non-boozing non-smoking socialist in an area that voted overwhelmingly to leave the European Union. I'm a veritable babe magnet.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Usually gender identity stuff is done to attract a mate.

I'd say that's an oversimplication of gender, to the point I disagree.

As an example, trans people don't often cease to be trans once getting married. They still have gender dysphoria.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

... it's kind of impossible to logically determine whether it's worth the effort to keep one's options open when it often feels like 97% of people would pass up a gender fluid person if given the option.

Just a couple of points:

• I suspect that recognition and acceptance of gender fluidity will gradually improve.
• I also suspect that it will take as much effort, if not more, to keep one's options closed.

I could be wrong, of course, but I encourage you to (a) accept yourself and (b) do life.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Just a couple of points:

• I suspect that recognition and acceptance of gender fluidity will gradually improve.
• I also suspect that it will take as much effort, if not more, to keep one's options closed.

I could be wrong, of course, but I encourage you to (a) accept yourself and (b) do life.

I understand your view. I'll think about it. I think I've been hitting the academic books too hard. It makes one question everything.

 

[wellwisher]

Gender fluidity is not really a scientific condition. It is subjective and is connected more to the persona or social mask. If it was innate, there would be no need to change the outside. I am older. When I was growing up, before this social construct was fashionable, there were masculine women and feminine men, but this did not require they alter their sexual characteristics with surgery and make up. The husband could be soft and the wife a tough battle ax and they could get along and work well together.

Gender today is more like the need to wear a uniform, to identify the team. The uniform need specials words, drugs and clothes. Drag is all about exhibition and requires a lot of makeup to paint an illusion. That much uniform is not needed for the inner person you really are. It is more for a surface illusion, which does not go very deep.

For example, I might dress up at Halloween and use the costume to help me define my character, both for me in the mirror, and via feedback from others, to help me be the best character I can be. Innate does not need so much coaching and reassurance. That is more useful for doubt, acting or pretend. If I was a black belt Ninja, I would down dress and still project the part. But if I am playing, I may need the fancy costume.

We all have male and female DNA, from our two parents. The sperm and egg, have male and female DNA, respectively. We all have both, DNA. Your primary sexual characteristics; male or female, come from an X or Y chromosomes; from mother or father. This the most conscious to us, due to the way its unique bio-chemistry impacts our body and brain. We also learn from the mirror and social feedback.

The other or secondary DNA, from your mother or father, if you are male or female, respectively, still has an impact but is less conscious, and tends to define the sex of your unconscious mind. Men have a female side and women have a masculine side. The female side of male can make him moody, while the male side of a female can make her an exacting perfectionist.

The current gender confusion has to due with the affect of the secondary sexual nature of the unconscious mind, on you conscious mind, adding transexual propensities from the other parental DNA. This potential will increase with repressions. The break up of the family and many children with one parent, adds potential.

If the potential to the unconscious is too strong this does not mean innate, but some repression is causing the brain potential to increase, to where the unconscious becomes more conscious. What results is not what it appears to be, since a natural brain energy flow should make it less conscious; secondary. Back in the day a soft man, was not a big deal, requiring a uniform, which does not fix the problem, but compounds it; life long work.

In terms of celibacy, I tend to do that in cycles. Celibacy has the affect of damming a natural flow of neural sexual energy from your primary sex. This can be different in men and women. This dam will increase brain potential, which I have learned to sublimate and use for creative pursuits. It appears to be the way I can make my inner self more conscious. It also seems to animate my female side; emotional aspect, that comes out during political discussions. Politics is feminine. If the potential is lower, it good for science; more logical and masculine. I am getting better at dialing it in. But the brain also has its own cycles.

If you have even noticed, Catholic Priests and Nuns both take a vow of celibacy. Priests tend to become softer and understand, due to the potential bringing their female side more to the surface, The opposite happens with the Nuns; tough but fair. Since neither Priests or Nuns are about sex, they do not confuse the potential induction, with the need for drugs and surgery to make a surface illusion.

Many married couples will see sex decline over time, often connected raising children. This is a natural form of celibacy, which is used to increase brain potential and sublimate into other family pursuits and careers.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

It also seems to animate my female side; emotional aspect, that comes out during political discussions. Politics is feminine

We disagree on some things in your post. But I'll highlight this.

I see politics as a very masculine thing, like monster trucks. I think if it were a more feminine subject, it wouldn't be so popular. A lot of more feminine subjects - celebrities, gossip about crushes, makeup, etc - don't really get much exposure in the overall world, only in tight groups. Some people try to discourage such discussion.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I understand your view. I'll think about it. I think I've been hitting the academic books too hard. It makes one question everything.

Oy vey! And now you're questioning your questioning.