Child Rearing and the Future of Democracy

[Sunstone]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

Making choices doesn't appear to be the modern issue. Learning to live with the consequences of said choices, on the other hand...

 

[sun rise]

"helicopter parents" who "hover over"

I suspect that this fad will pass like so many others. I've seen hints of it in the "free range" children movement which is like how I grew up.

And there are still a gazillion choices that have to be made so some have to play catch up with lessons they did not learn in childhood.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Making choices doesn't appear to be the modern issue. Learning to live with the consequences of said choices, on the other hand...

I don't think I can add much more, or put it any better. Except to add it's not just living with the consequences, but making better choices.

 

[David T]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

Free range I am all about free range children..

Originally in settling this country the kids were pretty much hard working free range types. The bunch above are more city kids with a week outdoors. In the old days those homestead kids would end up doing things like creating the national park system by writing a few words down.

TodaYs kids are a bit too domesticated citified. Very smart though.

 

[David T]

I suspect that this fad will pass like so many others. I've seen hints of it in the "free range" children movement which is like how I grew up.

And there are still a gazillion choices that have to be made so some have to play catch up with lessons they did not learn in childhood.

I knew we had something in common!!!! I wrote a whole free range child bit here in my typical whacky style.

I moved back to the oregon coast like a salmon returning home. I don't fit the rural personality type but I definitely was a child who ran free in the forests exploring al the time. I have stories about my "caged domesticated caged cousins" coming and visiting. They grew up in LA. They would clunk for the first few days through the forests with me and eventually pick up on the topology the lingo and structure. . Like it has its own language. Just like the city.
I would be going don't go there step here etc. They were like blind. But so was I when I had to move to the city.

 

[Tumah]

I've seen hints of it in the "free range" children movement which is like how I grew up.

I agree with you. I also like my children free-range, rbgh-free, non-gmo, USDA organic. I think those children are the healthiest. And now that I'm older, I really need to pay attention to what I eat.

 

[PureX]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

For the right of choice to be positively effective it has to come with an awareness of responsibility. But in the U.S., choice is generally expressed as; "buy this, or buy that!". Even your own example was "which do you want?" But I don't think that conception of choice makes anyone the wiser or more capable. Because I think choices have to be made in relation to responsibility to be positively effective. And in our money-driven consumer culture, taking responsibility for our choices is NOT encouraged. In fact, it's discouraged. It's "buy now and pay later!", "if you want it your should have it!" here in the land of endless consumption. We encourage ourselves to ignore responsibility in favor of desire when making our choices in life. It's the "American way". And we are encouraged to do this, incessantly, by a very potent and ever-present commercial advertising industry that infects and even rules every nook and cranny of our public discourse.

Which is why we Americans make such notoriously bad choices, so often. Divorced from responsibility, our choices become infantile.

 

[SomeRandom]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

In Soviet Russia choices make you.

(Sorry couldn't resist.)

 

[sayak83]

Hedrick Smith, who was once a bestselling author about life in the Soviet Union, noted that Russian emigres to the US often took quite some time to adjust to the fact they had to make so choices here. Even deciding to cross a street when there was no walk sign could be a problem for them.

Smith contrasted that with how American parents typically encourage -- sometimes even force -- their children to make choices from an early age. "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?", rather than, "Here. You'll like chocolate best!" He saw the American attitude as preparing kids to take control of their own lives and also to participate in democracy, and the Soviet attitude as quite compatible with living under an authoritarian regime.

If I recall, deToqueville, writing about America in the mid-1830s, also observed that Americans had a profound tendency to teach their children to make choices. I might be a bit off about that, though, because it's been a few years since I read him. I more strongly recall his surprise at how young people were when others began to treat and respect them as fully adult and capable of deciding things for themselves -- age 15 in some cases (especially on the frontier).

So, I'm wondering what the trend is today? Are today's "helicopter parents" who "hover over" their children adequately preparing them to take control of their lives and also to participate in democracy? If not, what consequences might that have for the future of society and politics?

I am sure that's not how children in India, Japan or South Korea grow up. . though they are democracies. Imagine choosing to study or not as a child! The master plan on getting anything when I was a kid was to throw a tantrum of apocalyptic proportions till I got it.

 

[pearl]

Making choices doesn't appear to be the modern issue. Learning to live with the consequences of said choices, on the other hand...

This is so true. While we encourage our children to make choices we often do not prepare them with decision making skills.