Committed Couples Tell Why Discrimination in the Constitution is Wrong

[Green Gaia]

In Support of Equal Marriage: Committed Couples Tell Why Discrimination in the Constitution is Wrong

In Poland, Indiana, Judith and Beverly have lived together for twenty-nine years. Although they are fortunate in that the company from which Judith retired offers domestic partner benefits, she recognizes that "we haven't experienced significant problems since we've spent lots of money on legal documents to protect each other." Yet she also notes, "Financially, my partner would get more social security if she could draw on my benefits."

Judith writes, "The proposed amendment seems to be government sponsored gay bashing. This has inspired me to step up and tell our story at every opportunity. My partner is concerned about our safety as we live in a rural area in southern Indiana. It has also made us determined to marry for our 30th anniversary, [even] if we have to go to Canada." She also deeply appreciates the support of their Unitarian Universalist congregation in the struggle for equal marriage: "Our congregation helped to inspire me to action. They are officially a Welcoming Congregation and the presence of an out lesbian minister convinced my partner that this was the place for us. The sister of a gay man suggested the Civil Marriage Is A Civil Right Task Force to work to defeat a marriage discrimination amendment in Indiana. There are as many family members and friends of the GLBT community on the task force as there are GLBT persons. The task force is supported by the entire congregation."

 

[Green Gaia]

The Rev. Dee Graham, a Unitarian Universalist minister, has been with her partner, Signa Quandt, for twenty-nine years. Residents of Saint Petersburg, FL, they are parents to three children and one grandchild. They were united with domestic partnership privileges in Berkeley, CA in 1991 (on the first day they became available to non-residents, says Graham). "The year before we couldn't get housing on campus or partner health insurance at GTU (Graduate Theological Union) because we weren't married. Since then, we have had no benefits from the civil union except that we have it."

Graham notes that "Health issues have been the greatest burden, since my partner has a chronic illness that will ultimately be fatal. All hospital issues have affected us, at one point putting the 18-year-old daughter who was 'legally' hers in the position of making a life/death decision about not using a ventilator because, even though I was there and all paperwork was in place, the ER doctor turned to our child to make the decision.

"We have faced these issues for 29 years, but it is our children as young adults who have the strongest story to tell. One daughter (in middle school) testified to the county school board about harrassment she received. Now, even though all three children are grown, they would like us to do a second-parent adoption so they will be legal brother and sisters, but in Florida the marriage fight is teamed with keeping gays from adoption—even afer they are adults. Now, our grandson brings further complications into the issue, even though his dad and family are also UUs."

Graham and Quandt are working at every level to end discrimination in their state: "We are one of the ACLU couples in their current lawsuit against Florida's attempts to get anti-gay marriage legislation on the ballot. During the last election my daugthers and I worked with the UU Service Committee to get out the vote. One daughter testified before the school board and a non-discrimation measure was passed (she was in middle school then). As a community minister, I have worked on these issues publically and in community ministry."

 

[Green Gaia]

Karen and Jodi, residents of Pennsylvania, have faced health challenges in their eleven years together as a couple. As members of the BuxMont UU congregation and parents of two teenagers, they fear the intervention of the government in limiting their constitutional rights. Karen says, "It's difficult to know that my own government is working hard to write discrimination into the Constitution. I have written and spoken to many representatives. Unfortunately, my Senator is the one who is pushing it forward the most. It is difficult to live life as a second class citizen who is denied the same rights as everyone else simply because of other people's ignorance."


Karen notes that their employers have been helpful in providing some health insurance, but that, in facing recent medical challenges, "We had to make sure out papers were in order and that I had medical authorizations signed and notarized so that the doctors would speak to me."

 

[angellous_evangellous]

It's a good story. Thanks for recycling it for the newbies.

 

[michel]

It's a good story. Thanks for recycling it for the newbies.

That sounds almost cynical........I'll assume it wasn't meant that way.

Thanks for sharing those, Maize; there are inroads being made into trying to have some form of equality, but I doubt that you will get to the stage of total acceptance and equality in the near future. there are too many tunnel visioned members of the public out there.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

That sounds almost cynical........I'll assume it wasn't meant that way.

I can't remember if I was being cynical or not. Nevertheless, it's a good story that needs to be remembered.