Confused and feel guilty

[Leo613]

I'm Jewish brought up religious and nothing was good enough. There were very high expectations to live more religious then the next person or at least as much as the rest of the community.

So one example would be not to watch t.v. which to this day, it doesn't feel right. Because I'm unable to work (which is a long story yet connected to my religious upbringing) I watch a lot of tv, so its difficult to feel my life is worthwhile, because we were taught to study when we have time, even so logically I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm watching.

Actually I think that it helps me relax with the music and I'm learning about the world, which I was shut out from whilst growing up. But because its not actually learning from a religious book or praying its wrong.

 

[Jedster]

Have you tried doing voluntary work, say in a charity shop?

 

[Sees]

From knowing a lot of people who were raised in that environment, you're not alone and it's possible to move past that state of being. I would spend a lot of energy learning how less strictly traditional Jews go about life unless you feel the need to detach altogether.

Religious restrictions on what, where, when I can eat, watch TV, whatever - wouldn't work for me. It's a hard thing to relate to from the outside looking in. I know some find it rewarding though.

 

[Leo613]

Have you tried doing voluntary work, say in a charity shop?

Im unable to work because i have social anxiety.

The other point was that it feels wrong to watch t.v.

 

[Leo613]

From knowing a lot of people who were raised in that environment, you're not alone and it's possible to move past that state of being. I would spend a lot of energy learning how less strictly traditional Jews go about life unless you feel the need to detach altogether.

Religious restrictions on what, where, when I can eat, watch TV, whatever - wouldn't work for me. It's a hard thing to relate to from the outside looking in. I know some find it rewarding though.

I would like to live with no religion at all but it seems impossible.

Maybe because I'm not confident in myself I don't want to feel embarrassed by not doing what others are doing.

Sometimes I just feel like doing what I want, I don't want to justify myself to others.

 

[Aiviu]

I'm Jewish brought up religious and nothing was good enough. There were very high expectations to live more religious then the next person or at least as much as the rest of the community.

So one example would be not to watch t.v. which to this day, it doesn't feel right. Because I'm unable to work (which is a long story yet connected to my religious upbringing) I watch a lot of tv, so its difficult to feel my life is worthwhile, because we were taught to study when we have time, even so logically I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm watching.

Actually I think that it helps me relax with the music and I'm learning about the world, which I was shut out from whilst growing up. But because its not actually learning from a religious book or praying its wrong.

I dont think you are to blame. Its start to be your weakness when you cant practice your body. If you cant connect to life's energy. Or if you begin to "think" your life instead to live it. Watching TV makes you analyze life before you live. And that take simply makes you lazy.

I had my own TV in my room when i was ummm ... 14. With 21 I had a gf and her parents didnt bought a TV. Four siblings. The father is a doctor. They have a house with a roof which has been covered with earth and gras. So they were not poor. These parents didnt simply talked about tv or not - they took their kids outside and did something. They did it because they a.) are convinced not to let their young children watch TV and b.) showed them true alternatives. Their children could rent a dvd once in a while. And that was discussed regualirity when it was about the content and story of the movie. Thats it. Fair and absolutely far from books or a scriptures that were telling them what to do or not. Parents must not have to rely on it if they set up rules. Even if her parents are religious they didnt mention it.

I dont know what i wanted to tell with that. I just did told a story from my past.

 

[Sunstone]

What kind of life do you realistically want to have, given your circumstances (including your social anxiety)?

In what ways, if any, is watching TV preventing or hindering you from living that life?

 

[Leo613]

What kind of life do you realistically want to have, given your circumstances (including your social anxiety)?

In what ways, if any, is watching TV preventing or hindering you from living that life?

I need to socialise more I feel isolated but it needs to be with the certain kind of people that I feel comfortable, I'm still not sure where to find them.

 

[Sunstone]

I need to socialise more I feel isolated but it needs to be with the certain kind of people that I feel comfortable, I'm still not sure where to find them.

Coffee shops have in the past worked for me in finding people I liked and who befriended me. The internet seems an even quicker route to finding people you like, albeit they usually live a few thousand miles away.

 

[Leo613]

Coffee shops have in the past worked for me in finding people I liked and who befriended me. The internet seems an even quicker route to finding people you like, albeit they usually live a few thousand miles away.

Can you give any websites please

 

[Sunstone]

Can you give any websites please

Actually, RF, Leo. I've met several people on RF who I'm very compatible with (so far as I can know), and who I would love to meet offline. But as I said, the trouble is almost always they live thousands of miles from me.

In general, though, I think just about any active social media site can be good for meeting people, even FaceBook.

 

[paarsurrey]

1. Please consult a doctor/physician.
2. Pray for yourself.
3. Have a long walk daily. Do other physical exercises also.
4. Play some good game.
5. Try to be in the company of other people.
6. Limit watching TV to one or two hours a day.
7. Go to a library and read some book that interests you.
8. Do some job daily with remuneration or without.

I think that will pull you out from isolation,human being have to be social.
Regards

 

[Corthos]

Can I ask what hobbies you enjoy, @Leo613? =)

 

[Leo613]

Can I ask what hobbies you enjoy, @Leo613? =)

I'm interested in tv, cinema, music, politics, current affairs and religion as a subject.

Like snooker, pool, tennis, going for walks, Scrable.

 

[rusra02]

I'm Jewish brought up religious and nothing was good enough. There were very high expectations to live more religious then the next person or at least as much as the rest of the community.

So one example would be not to watch t.v. which to this day, it doesn't feel right. Because I'm unable to work (which is a long story yet connected to my religious upbringing) I watch a lot of tv, so its difficult to feel my life is worthwhile, because we were taught to study when we have time, even so logically I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm watching.

Actually I think that it helps me relax with the music and I'm learning about the world, which I was shut out from whilst growing up. But because its not actually learning from a religious book or praying its wrong.

You mention you are Jewish. I believe God does not desire we live our lives with an outward display of piety. Jesus forcefully condemned the religious leaders of his day for their hypocrisy, telling them they "resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly indeed appear beautiful but inside are full of dead men’s bones and of every sort of uncleanness. In the same way, on the outside you appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness". (Matthew 23:28) My point is IMO, that true worship makes us happy, not guilt ridden. As Ezra told the Jews in Nehemiah 8:10; "Go, eat the choice things and drink what is sweet, and send portions of food to those who have nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord, and do not feel sad, for the joy of Jehovah is your stronghold.”

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I'm Jewish brought up religious and nothing was good enough. There were very high expectations to live more religious then the next person or at least as much as the rest of the community.

So one example would be not to watch t.v. which to this day, it doesn't feel right. Because I'm unable to work (which is a long story yet connected to my religious upbringing) I watch a lot of tv, so its difficult to feel my life is worthwhile, because we were taught to study when we have time, even so logically I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm watching.

Actually I think that it helps me relax with the music and I'm learning about the world, which I was shut out from whilst growing up. But because its not actually learning from a religious book or praying its wrong.

Hey, Leo it can be very difficult to overcome feelings of guilt, especially when they have been ingrained into us as children.
What kind of TV do you like?
Do you have any support from friends or family?

 

[Leo613]

Hey, Leo it can be very difficult to overcome feelings of guilt, especially when they have been ingrained into us as children.
What kind of TV do you like?
Do you have any support from friends or family?

I watch music and news quite a bit
I like American dad and family guy

 

[Leo613]

Hey, Leo it can be very difficult to overcome feelings of guilt, especially when they have been ingrained into us as children.
What kind of TV do you like?
Do you have any support from friends or family?

Family not really because am not religious and they feel I've rejected God and stopping messiah from coming and don't have any friends really because I'm shy

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Family not really because am not religious and they feel I've rejected God and stopping messiah from coming and don't have any friends really because I'm shy

Have you ever been overwhelmed by the guilt you have felt watching TV?

What are your views on God?

My ex was from the Chabad community and his family were mostly concerned about him not marrying a Jewish woman more than anything else. He did have a niece though that he seemed to be able to turn to for solace.
His school at the time also practiced physical punishment. What was your school like?

 

[GoodbyeDave]

Firstly, lets think about the religious problem of enjoying yourself. I'm not a Jew or a Christian, but I do know that it says that when God created the world he saw that it was good. We were not created to be unhappy; as it says in Proverbs (Mishle), "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" and in Ecclesiastes (Qohelet), "eat, drink, and be merry". But not too much TV, please: it numbs the mind in large doses!

As for the anxiety, it can be dealt with, as I know from experience. Talk to a doctor, seek help. Years ago a therapist took me into a café and told me to look at every one and see if any were looking at me. None were, of course, so why was I concerned with them? He also told me to seek opportunities to speak to people, however briefly. I still often talk to strangers in supermarket queues! I never became gregarious, but I did eventually socialise and I did work (until I got fed-up and retired at 47, but that's another story!)