Dating Preferences: Bigotry or a Right?

[Thanda]

Example: see a female in a thong, and facially and perceived body is so attractive to them, they exclaim, "I'd definitely do that." Could follow up with, "really? That's your type?" And response may be, "oh heck ya. That right there is the ideal body type. I wouldn't hesitate even for a second to be sexual with that person." But then if that person without a thong was revealed to have a penis, it would suddenly lead to everything before that being denied, as if face and rest of body have NOTHING to do with overall physical attraction.

IMO, I think that sort of test could be done with many people and they'd make all sorts of claims about how facial features and other aspects of the body are 'most important in how they evaluate sexual attraction.' But then add in the specific genital part, and that would plausibly (I would say likely) render everything else purported previously as not true. As in lies they are telling themselves. Or possible that the genital thing is the lie they are telling themselves. Either way, it superficially does come across as bigotry (intolerance).

I think things are deeper than you would make them appear. When I look at a fully clothed woman and I have sexual thoughts about her I imagine her without the clothes and what she likely looks like underneath. So if she were to take her clothes off and reveal a green skin colour then I would obviously be shocked and turned off - that is not what I imagined when I fantasized. So there are always implicit assumptions when a man considers a woman sexually.

Likewise then whenever I look at a woman sexually I assume there is a vagina. This different to when I look at a woman aesthetically and decide she is pretty - that is only based on how she looks and has nothing to do with what may be underneath. Indeed some woman have pretty faces but do not have my type of figure for example. So I might never want to date them but I do consider them pretty nonetheless.

I hope this makes sense.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Guys, we all surely don't like to be judged because of our sexuality/race/color/religion, and looked down at as unnatural/foreigner/black/white/terrorist. I believe it is only fair to not judge others because of their friendly harmless choice/liking in/of us because of their preference regarding our own sexuality/race/color/religion, and call them bigots.

 

[Flankerl]

Even if it could somehow be argued as bigotry, I guess that would only mean that not all bigotry is bad. Why should anyone be made to feel bad about not being attracted to another particular person?

Because the 21st century is a brave new world with its own new kind of insanity.

But don't worry, once the Chinese take over it will all be brought under control.

 

[Acim]

Even if it could somehow be argued as bigotry, I guess that would only mean that not all bigotry is bad. Why should anyone be made to feel bad about not being attracted to another particular person?

If it were a particular person, not bigotry. A whole group of people based on a particular trait, along with words reflecting intolerance, equals mild bigotry, as previously explained.

Bigotry being all that bad or not all that bad is subjective.

 

[Acim]

So why then is there a presumption that a heterosexual man who rejects a person with a penis is a bigot?

Cause it's not a presumption?

That sexual orientation might be a form of mild bigotry? That's the only language I have noticed so far. As well as contending arguments, obviously.

It's the intolerance aspect, being expressed. Sexual orientation is not bigotry. Expressing sexual orientation by stating what doesn't fit in with that and going above and beyond that to express refusal/intolerance would equal mild bigotry.

A right. Possible bigotry. But I don't think it's right to assume that someone who does this is doing so out of bigotry. Maybe they were raped by a person who just so happened to be African american? Like it or not, that psychological scaring incident could affect who they want to date. Or they just happen to prefer I don't know, Japanese people. Must even our personal taste with prospective partners be bigotry? Is everything in this world some form of bigotry?
I mean that's what it's sounding like more and more in today's political climate. What's more ironic to me is that we focus so much on validating the feelings of everyone (which is fair enough) but then turn around and label even those allied with equality as "bigoted" for having certain personal feelings. Like which is it? Are we supposed to respect trigger warnings of everyone traumatized? Or are we to brush aside said triggers of a traumatized person if they happen to involve a roundabout way of technically being a little bit "racist?"

IMO, you and others seem to have a connotation associated with bigotry that prevents that label being applied (accurately). It would seem that word is so loaded that it can only apply in certain situations. In OP, the wording was "a form of bigotry" vs. "right" and then subsequent posts suggesting right and bigotry are contrasts from which to choose from. If that label doesn't work for you and you think it is right to refuse a whole group of people, many of which self identify as female, then that's okay. Really doesn't seem like a big deal to me, given the generality of the inquiry.

 

[fantome profane]

How about this, is it bigoted to be attracted only to attractive people? Isn't that discrimination against the physically distasteful among us? Ugly people need to get laid too.

 

[YmirGF]

I think the question posed by the OP simply waters down yet another word to cover virtually anything. Personally, I think it is an affront to genuine forms of bigotry to include issues like this under the same umbrella.

 

[Acim]

I'm now curious what a genuine form of bigotry is. I have some ideas, but wondering if I could just use the preferences thing as a way to spin it (the other way) and thus make it non-bigoted?

 

[Kilgore Trout]

English has a plethora of words covering an endless variety of definitions, connotations, and nuances. Why does everyone feel the need to use the same handful of words to describe everything, even when completely inapplicable? "Bigotry" is is no way, shape, or form even remotely applicable in regards to the situation of a straight guy not wanting to date someone who has a penis. That this is even a question or discussion highlights the ridiculous state we've come to in regards to common sense being completely eradicated as a concept.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

It's interesting how sexual preference is so often being conflated with bigotry here.

Cleverly done conflating "interesting" with "sad."

 

[Acim]

Why does everyone feel the need to use the same handful of words to describe everything, even when completely inapplicable?

Perhaps because it is not completely inapplicable?

 

[Buttercup]

Perhaps because it is not completely inapplicable?

I've yet to hear an argument in this thread or in the thread that inspired this thread to believe sexual preference is in any way bigotry.

 

[YmirGF]

I've yet to hear an argument in this thread or in the thread that inspired this thread to believe sexual preference is in any way bigotry.

It is an agenda narrative designed to trigger guilt in the hope that it will force people to reconsider their positions... no pun intended...

 

[Buttercup]

It is an agenda narrative designed to trigger guilt in the hope that it will force people to reconsider their positions... no pun intended...

I dislike it greatly when people dumb down important words that should be used with more discretion.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Perhaps because it is not completely inapplicable?

Perhaps people need to crack open a dictionary more often then.

 

[Akivah]

I am mostly into woman that are Hispanic, Asian, Native American, or Arab. White and Black Girls can be wonderful too but I prefer the others. So

I prefer women that are recognizably female within 50 feet.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I dislike it greatly when people dumb down important words that should be used with more discretion.

Unfortunately, it's a cheap and easy way to try to hijack and counterfeit meaning and legitimacy. The art and skill of rhetoric is ceaselessly devolving into a miasma of intellectual laziness and dishonesty.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I've yet to hear an argument in this thread or in the thread that inspired this thread to believe sexual preference is in any way bigotry.

Yeah, well this sounds exactly like something a bigot would say! So there!

 

[Buttercup]

Unfortunately, it's a cheap and easy way to try to hijack and counterfeit meaning and legitimacy. The art and skill of rhetoric is ceaselessly devolving into a miasma of intellectual laziness and dishonesty.

......And sensationalism.

 

[Acim]

Perhaps people need to crack open a dictionary more often then.

Or perhaps we could define bigotry in this thread and provide legitimate examples of it. I'm feeling confident that I could plausibly explain those away as non-bigotry based on personal preferences.