Dating Preferences: Bigotry or a Right?

[Debater Slayer]

In another thread, the issue of dating preferences came up, and some posts stated that a heterosexual man's refusal to date a transgendered person because the latter has a penis is transphobic. Since I'm open to reconsidering my positions in light of reasoned arguments, I would like to hear others' thoughts on this.

Is having dating preferences such as the above a form of bigotry or a right?

Please discuss.

 

[LuisDantas]

People will feel attracted to who they will feel attracted to. There is no point in saying that they should feel differently.

Dating is by nature a very arbitrary activity. One could perhaps attempt to guide it by selective exposure to different people, and that might even be a good thing under certain carefully considered circunstances.

But I still fail to see how feeling uneasy with the idea of intimacy with a trangendered person is any more a form of bigotry than favoring a certain age, body type or hair or skin color. People are supposed to be very discriminating when they pursue relationships and intimacy, aren't they?

 

[Sapiens]

In another thread, the issue of dating preferences came up, and some posts stated that a heterosexual man's refusal to date a transgendered person because the latter has a penis is transphobic. Since I'm open to reconsidering my positions in light of reasoned arguments, I would like to hear others' thoughts on this.

Is having dating preferences such as the above a form of bigotry or a right?

Please discuss.

Not ... there are lots of girls whom I would not date either and there are homosexuals and transgenders that I'm happy to have a drink with. The word "dating" implies, to me, something more than a casual drink or meal, it is the opening act of the life-long commitment play and if I my having a preference for really smart, tallish, large breasted, with really long hair, biologically female humans makes me bigoted ... oh well, I'll just have to live with it.

 

[Thana]

In another thread, the issue of dating preferences came up, and some posts stated that a heterosexual man's refusal to date a transgendered person because the latter has a penis is transphobic. Since I'm open to reconsidering my positions in light of reasoned arguments, I would like to hear others' thoughts on this.

Is having dating preferences such as the above a form of bigotry or a right?

Please discuss.

How in the world is that transphobic or bigoted? If you don't like penises, you don't like penises.
It's just preference. Some people just prefer their women to have an actual vagina. Or they prefer them to be blonde. Or tall.

I think these SJWs just need to take a break once in a while, the world will still be terrible when they get back.

 

[Mister Emu]

I see someone voted yes.

Can you make the argument in favor? I can't fathom how it goes.

 

[Kori]

I am mostly into woman that are Hispanic, Asian, Native American, or Arab. White and Black Girls can be wonderful too but I prefer the others. So

 

[fantome profane]

Is having dating preferences such as the above a form of bigotry or a right?

Can't it be both? Could this be one area where we have the right to be bigoted?

 

[LuisDantas]

I am mostly into woman that are Hispanic, Asian, Native American, or Arab. White and Black Girls can be wonderful too but I prefer the others. So

I would call that discriminating, but I am not sure there is any ethnic group left unchecked... how do you feel about Inuit people? Native Americans? Native Australians?

Yeah, I think I am taking the matter way too seriously as well. But the idea of gauging the level of appeal of as many ethnic groups as possible does attract me, in an entirely chauvinistic, objectifying way.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Can't it be both? Could this be one area where we have the right to be bigoted?

In this context, I mean "right" as an opposite of "bigotry."

 

[Kori]

I would call that discriminating, but I am not sure there is any ethnic group left unchecked... how do you feel about Inuit people? Native Americans? Native Australians?

I am sure there is a name for it but the people I mentioned I like their type of skin color. I find it attractive. White and Black women are fine too but not what I prefer.

 

[fantome profane]

In this context, I mean "right" as an opposite of "bigotry."

Alright, I was trying to put it in a slightly different context. But if you insist in using these terms this way I can work with that.

So I would say it is perhaps shallow and limited. But we are all shallow and limited in someways. We should aspire to be more open, but we should also be honest. If a transsexual doesn't do it for you, don't date a transsexual. You can't deny employment to a qualified individual because they are transsexual, you can't deny them housing, you are required to treat them with basic respect. But who you date is absolutely your own business.

 

[Buttercup]

Dang. I'm newly single. I guess I'll just stay home with the dog and cat.

I hope it's not discriminatory to not have sex with them.

 

[LuisDantas]

I could swear "sexual freedom" meant something else.

 

[Kori]

I hope it's not discriminatory to not have sex with them.

Not when you have other options *cough*me*cough*

 

[LuisDantas]

Dang. I'm newly single. I guess I'll just stay home with the dog and cat.

I hope it's not discriminatory to not have sex with them.

It technically is. But I for one am ok with it.

 

[Flankerl]

The question itself is completely and utterly ridiculous.

 

[Debater Slayer]

The question itself is completely and utterly ridiculous.

Well, Flankerl, I probably wouldn't have asked it if nobody had made a big deal out of it.

 

[Sunstone]

Can't it be both? Could this be one area where we have the right to be bigoted?

Bigotry is to be intolerant towards someone because they are different than you. Have a sexual preference that excludes someone is not necessarily bigoted because you are not necessarily intolerant towards them.

 

[SomeRandom]

In another thread, the issue of dating preferences came up, and some posts stated that a heterosexual man's refusal to date a transgendered person because the latter has a penis is transphobic. Since I'm open to reconsidering my positions in light of reasoned arguments, I would like to hear others' thoughts on this.

Is having dating preferences such as the above a form of bigotry or a right?

Please discuss.

If a homosexual man is typically turned off by their potential partner having a vagina, why in the world would a heterosexual man not be typically turned off by their potential partner having a penis? It would go against their very sexual orientation not to be. In order to overlook such a.....erm "member" one would have to be poly or pansexual. That is to say having an attraction not as affected by the binary sexes as bi, gay and straight people are confined to. If you get me?
Why would it be bigotry? Not wanting to sleep with someone isn't being a bigot, I mean sometimes that might be the case with racists or whatever. But to most people it's merely to do with attraction.
If I don't want to sleep with another female does that mean I'm a bigot against lesbians? No of course not. It means I'm a heterosexual female!
Why then should heterosexual men be lambasted as transphobes for preferring vaginas? I don't get it. They are heterosexual! Not gay or bi. That's like saying if a heterosexual man won't sleep with another man he is actually a homophobe. It makes no sense. Being an ally for gay or trans people doesn't necessarily mean you would sleep with or date them for goodness sakes!

I respect a transgender person's right to do and live however they please. But this idea that because a man won't date them he is suddenly bigoted seems more like sour grapes at having not been laid to me. Not everyone in the world has to find you completely attractive in order to not be a bigot. Geez.

 

[Maponos]

It baffles me why anyone would think someone's preferences are a form of bigotry. Is a homosexual man a misogynist because he has an exclusive preference for men?

I've been called a racist several times because I have an exclusive preference for European and East Asian men. In fact, until recently, it was only European men. I don't foresee myself changing my preferences any further either. If someone wishes to label me any sort of buzzword due to my preferences, then so be it.