Ditching a friend for offensive beliefs?

[ChristineM]

Ouch.

The BNP was practically mainstream round here. Of course, the attitudes remain the same

Sorry, it was my version of sarcasm, i used to live in an area with a high muslim population and dated a Ghanaian guy, i know well about their attitude

Actually in the 2010 election they had over 1/2 million votes but i dont then they ever won a seat. No loss

 

[Shadow Wolf]

The first time was after I left the Church upon discovering people I thought were my friends weren't really my friends and turned on as soon as they heard (it would also be the first time I'd be called demonically possessed).
The most recent was a friend who grew up into a lazy slob who is very trashy and dirty, treats his girlfriends very poorly, ignores his kids, and talks like hes still going to be a pro-wrestler (the only thing hes done for this is blow up to the size of a blimp).

 

[Mindmaster]

I’m actually glad he gave me an excuse to kick him out of my life, as there is no scenario imaginable in which me telling him I’m gay would end well, even if he didn't want to exterminate such people. And now he will never know. Which considering his remarks is I think a good thing!

I don't see where the idea of killing all the LGBT people is in line with Christian beliefs. That's just his own garbage. Personally, I'd try to convince him of this before abandoning him, but that's me.

 

[sun rise]

However, during one phone conversation he (basically) said that he hated all LGBT+ people and wanted to eventually exterminate us! (he did not know I was such a person and expected me to agree!)

Even if they believe you don't deserve to live, and would support you being thrown from the top of a tall building because of your sexual orientation? Get real. Honestly, I would not feel safe doing that.

I see no reason to stay in contact with someone who wants to murder me which is the case here.

There are less extreme situations. A best friend when I was in high school got in contact with me and I was very happy to reconnect. Then he started sending anti-Obama propaganda to me. I told him I supported Obama and to please stop sending the email. He did and then basically dropped contact with me outside of an occasional group humor email.

That was no loss and it was of course 100% different than wanting to murder me for who I am.

 

[icehorse]

I’m actually glad he gave me an excuse to kick him out of my life, as there is no scenario imaginable in which me telling him I’m gay would end well, even if he didn't want to exterminate such people. And now he will never know. Which considering his remarks is I think a good thing!

This could - possibly - be a moment where your friendship could grow.

For example, you could start by asking him if you could explore "values" with him. Then, as he describes his values, you *might* be able to gently show him how some of what his religion teaches is actually counter to his own values..

 

[Eddi]

This could - possibly - be a moment where your friendship could grow.

For example, you could start by asking him if you could explore "values" with him. Then, as he describes his values, you *might* be able to gently show him how some of what his religion teaches is actually counter to his own values..

That or he gathers a bunch of his zealot mates who then beat me half to death

 

[icehorse]

That or he gathers a bunch of his zealot mates who then beat me half to death

ouch !!!!!!!!!

 

[Secret Chief]

That or he gathers a bunch of his zealot mates who then beat me half to death

I did recently want to have a discussion with someone whose political views are pretty much 180 degrees to my own, but straight away (before I'd barely offered any opinion) he went into a ballistic rage. I felt I didn't want to stoke that fire.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Question: Have you ever ditched a friend for holding offensive beliefs?

My story:

I had a best friend, knew him from school since 1998. He was a good, loyal friend, and we’d talk frequently. We were best friends. He was a Moslem whereas I’m a Christian.

However, during one phone conversation he (basically) said that he hated all LGBT+ people and wanted to eventually exterminate us! (he did not know I was such a person and expected me to agree!)

In the past he had always been tolerant and permissive of homosexuality, and when he said those things it sounded like he was parroting what someone had told him. I think he has been radicalised. He is a very gullible person, he swallows whatever any person in authority tells him to believe. He is not capable of critical thinking. I'm pretty sure someone got to him...

Little did he know that I myself am homosexual.

I’m actually glad he gave me an excuse to kick him out of my life, as there is no scenario imaginable in which me telling him I’m gay would end well, even if he didn't want to exterminate such people. And now he will never know. Which considering his remarks is I think a good thing!

I have been ditched, before long ago by a friend whose parents had gotten divorced. We had both been in the same church which was very restrictive and didn't allow anything even listening to rock music. He changed, started wearing black and listening to rock all the time. One of the last things he said to me was "Life sucks and then you die." I think he just couldn't handle my level of religiosity any more. Decades later I got him on Facebook, so we're facebook friends; but I haven't asked him about anything. He seems fine. He has children and is married and is probably doing better than me.

I ditched a friend that I felt sorry for. He was very abusive in conversations and unsurprisingly had few or no friends. He didn't just disagree about things but would tell my opinions were stupid and uninformed and that I needed to come to me senses. He was supercharged about political things and always right and just wouldn't stop picking. I couldn't tell him anything without him coming down on me like I was some idiot, so I cut him off. I've got my own mind you know? I may not be incredibly smart or may be, but I can do better than to be bossed around my own mind.

 

[Secret Chief]

Brings to my mind some of the good things about online forums. Others only know what you choose to reveal about yourself, such as gender and skin colour. Plus, you can pick and choose who you interact with and when. Particularly good for introverts I feel, who tend to get tired out by too much social intercourse.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

I guess generally people are very naive when it comes to making friends. Jesus was not so. Hence John 2:24 "But Jesus did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew all men. He did not need any testimony about man, for He knew what was in a man."

That said, being anti LGBT is not a reason to ditch a friendship if you consider yourself or them to be religious in the Abrahamic sense, because the Abrahamic God is definitely anti LGBT (cf. S&G). Being pro LGBT is however another matter (1 Cor 5:11, 2 Thess 3:14, 2 Cor 6:15, Jude 1:7).

Being "anti-LGBT" is equivalent to being against a person's very nature. I cannot see it is any different than being against a person's colour, or place of birth, or height. These are things that can't be changed.

So if a person has a rooted dislike for my nature, why on earth would I like to share my time with them?

 

[eik]

Being "anti-LGBT" is equivalent to being against a person's very nature. I cannot see it is any different than being against a person's colour, or place of birth, or height. These are things that can't be changed.

Why shou;d anyone believe you? You seem to be an earth (nature) worshipper (idolator). I however am not, and neither does my religion have the least idea what it is you're talking about (can't speak for episcopalians etc as they are not of my religion).

So if a person has a rooted dislike for my nature, why on earth would I like to share my time with them?

The sentiments are affirmed as being mutual: Pev 29;27, 2 Cor 6:15. Look into the history of religion in the Old Testament and you will find some religions just can't co-exist.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Why shou;d anyone believe you? You seem to be an earth (nature) worshipper (idolator). I however am not, and neither does my religion have the least idea what it is you're talking about (can't speak for episcopalians etc as they are not of my religion).


The sentiments are affirmed as being mutual: Pev 29;27, 2 Cor 6:15. Look into the history of religion in the Old Testament and you will find some religions just can't co-exist.

Is it your religion that makes you nasty, or do you come by that naturally?

Why should anyone believe me? For the same reason that they should believe you. I speak from my heart, my knowledge, my beliefs, and you speak from yours. That our understandings are not the same is not a surprise.

But to call me a "worshipper" of any kind, or an "idolator" is out of line.

If your religion doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about (that hating people for characteristics outside of their control is deepest evil), then your religion takes part in that deep evil.

 

[Piculet]

Being "anti-LGBT" is equivalent to being against a person's very nature. I cannot see it is any different than being against a person's colour, or place of birth, or height. These are things that can't be changed.

Nonsense. Living a lifestyle of a homosexual or the likes, is a choice.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Nonsense. Living a lifestyle of a homosexual or the likes, is a choice.

So is living the life of a Muslim -- and there are many people who think that is anathema to God, as well.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Nonsense. Living a lifestyle of a homosexual or the likes, is a choice.

There is no homosexual "lifestyle".

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

can't speak for episcopalians etc as they are not of my religion

What in the world is with you and Episcopalians?

 

[eik]

Is it your religion that makes you nasty, or do you come by that naturally?

Nasty? Do you know where your religion is leading you to?

2 Cor 2:16 "To the one, we are an odor of death and demise; to the other, a fragrance that brings life. And who is qualified for such a task?"
​

It's not nasty to bring life to those selected for it. But as for the odor of death: such has always been so, since the beginning of Abrahamic religion.

Why should anyone believe me? For the same reason that they should believe you. I speak from my heart, my knowledge, my beliefs, and you speak from yours. That our understandings are not the same is not a surprise.

The reason I rated piculet's post was because it is taught by the bible, both NT and OT, and common to Abrahamic religions, or at least those that purport to be so (whether they really are or not) that homosexuality is certainly a matter of choice. Moreover it is also taught that practioners of it "receive in themselves the due penalty" Romans 1:26,27. The due penalty is psychological corruption, the inability of the mind to retain power over one's own body, i.e. the inability to repent, for "wickedness will not release those who practice it" Eccl 8:8. Some are graciously allowed to repent, however; but those of your particular religious persuasion, I am not sure. You seem to be creating justifications for continuance out of arguments about nature.

But to call me a "worshipper" of any kind, or an "idolator" is out of line.

But to call a spade a spade is only what I am doing. You have said so yourself, that your nature is sacrosanct. It cannot be changed. It is written in stone. That is putting your nature on a pedestal. Why should I accept it? It is axiomatic that everyone's "nature" can be changed, because otherwise God would not have called on sinners to repent. Acts 17:30. "Put on the divine nature" says Peter in 2 Pet 1:4.

If your religion doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about (that hating people for characteristics outside of their control is deepest evil),
then your religion takes part in that deep evil.

Deep evil starts with those who disobey God. Everyone is guilty, you're not an exception. Original sin posits all as sinners. It's that Abrahamic religion does not recognize any argument that makes a case for non-repentance. No: all such arguments are invalid ab initio and ipso facto as they commence from the position that it is justifiable to "hate God." Romans 1:30.

It's like a shoplifter addicted to shoplifting who says, "it's my nature." Why should anyone credit it?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I guess generally people are very naive when it comes to making friends. Jesus was not so. Hence John 2:24 "But Jesus did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew all men. He did not need any testimony about man, for He knew what was in a man."

That said, being anti LGBT is not a reason to ditch a friendship if you consider yourself or them to be religious in the Abrahamic sense, because the Abrahamic God is definitely anti LGBT (cf. S&G). Being pro LGBT is however another matter (1 Cor 5:11, 2 Thess 3:14, 2 Cor 6:15, Jude 1:7).

The God I know doesn't have a problem with me being bisexual and trans.

 

[eik]

The God I know doesn't have a problem with me being bisexual and trans.

See Romans 1. I can't reconcile it with your position.