Do you and your significant other agree on your religion?

[stillsearching]

So while I am searching to find what I believe to be right, my husband is very firm in his faith.
We have talked about things but it usually doesn't end very well. He is a very black/white kind of person where I am more open minded about things. Right now we are in a "agree to disagree" situation.

Do any of you have/had the same situation? Any advice?

 

[Revoltingest]

Mrs Rev & I agree that I'm an atheist.
I don't know what she believes, but it's either agnostic or deistic.
I like being married, so I don't bring up religion or politics often.

 

[stillsearching]

Mrs Rev & I agree that I'm an atheist.
I don't know what she believes, but it's either agnostic or deistic.
I like being married, so I don't bring up religion or politics often.

That is a good idea. We don't talk about it very often either, but when we do....

 

[ChristineES]

You think we would be, but no. We're both Christians- but...
My husband takes most of the Bible literally and I don't. My husband is a conservative and I am not one. I am a Baptist (mostly) and my husband is a Charismatic type (rolling in the aisles and speaking in tongues. I read the Bible and my husband never has read it (anything he knows about it he learned from me).

 

[Tarheeler]

So while I am searching to find what I believe to be right, my husband is very firm in his faith.
We have talked about things but it usually doesn't end very well. He is a very black/white kind of person where I am more open minded about things. Right now we are in a "agree to disagree" situation.

Do any of you have/had the same situation? Any advice?

We don't disagree exactly, but we don't share the same views either. My wife shifts from agnostic to theist fairly regularly, and I'm working towards a conversion to Judaism. What helps us is that she doesn't hold any firm religious beliefs or customs; the ones I hold tend to be the dominate in the house. We talk about religion fairly regularly. Sometime we disagree and sometimes we don't. But we make it work.

A marriage takes a lot of work; and it takes a whole lot more when you disagree on fundamental issues.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Mrs Rev & I agree that I'm an atheist.
I don't know what she believes, but it's either agnostic or deistic.
I like being married, so I don't bring up religion or politics often.

That's generally my strategy as well these days.

My wife's Catholic and I'm an atheist. When we first got married, I considered myself an agnostic; my wife wanted me to consider converting to Catholicism (or at least some form of Christianity) - in the process of investigating and reflecting, I ended up realizing that I was actually an atheist. :cover:

Since I've stopped going to Mass, things have been a lot happier. Now, I generally avoid talking about religion unless the subject comes up somehow.

 

[Rakhel]

We agree on most issues within Judaism. But it wouldn't be a fun marriage if we agreed 100% of the time.

 

[xkatz]

I'm not married so I don't have to worry about that

 

[Wirey]

Mrs Rev & I agree that I'm an atheist.
I don't know what she believes, but it's either agnostic or deistic.
I like being married, so I don't bring up religion or politics often.

You're married? My God, I've been assuming you lived alone under the boiler in the basement!

The Mrs. and I are both pretty Godless, but I think about it a lot more than she does.

 

[sandandfoam]

My wife's an atheist.
She'd like to belive in God, heaven etc. but can't. She thinks what I believe in is for the fairies. We talk about religion a good bit, we both find it an interesting conversation.

 

[tumbleweed41]

My wife is a Christian Agnostic, while I am a Deist.
The main difference being she holds to the basic tenets of the New Testament and believes Jesus had a special relationship with God and may or may not be divine. She thinks anything beyond the basic teachings of Jesus should be taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Wandered Off]

Mrs. WO is mostly a Methodist, but not dogmatic about it. They tend to be a bit laid back anyway. The subject doesn't come up that much, but she knows of my unbelief. She agrees that it's much better than the fundamentalism I grew up with. It's not as hard as it may seem to marry differently. Any problems we've had are not around religion.

 

[Breathe]

My wife generally called herself a (very unorthodox) Christian (although she never believed in some of the things that most Christians do. Trinity, nope, Jesus as saviour, nope, hell, nope--reincarnation for her, atonement, nope, and she also found the Torah God to be "a bit.. touchy" ) until recently, but she's been showing an interest in Buddhism recently.

Religion props up now and then, and she likes to discuss it to some degree, but not for very long at a time.


Regarding the OP, I'd give only "live and let live" as advice. If you have kids it can be a bit more tricky, but if not just let it be. As long as there is respect and freedom to worship, everyone should be happy.

 

[tumbleweed41]

If you have kids it can be a bit more tricky, but if not just let it be. As long as there is respect and freedom to worship, everyone should be happy.

Indeed.
My oldest (22) is a born again fundie Christian. (And is forbidden to proselytize in my house)
The next one (18) is an Atheist.
My only daughter (16) is Christian.
My youngest (9) just keeps asking questions.

They are free to believe as they choose, as I am free to give my fatherly opinion.

 

[stillsearching]

Thanks for the thoughts. I am sure we will figure it all out. We have been married for 13 years and this has only become an issue of late. I think that things will be fine once we figure out what the new "norm" is.

 

[Breathe]

Indeed.
My oldest (22) is a born again fundie Christian. (And is forbidden to proselytize in my house)
The next one (18) is an Atheist.
My only daughter (16) is Christian.
My youngest (9) just keeps asking questions.

They are free to believe as they choose, as I am free to give my fatherly opinion.

That must be interesting when it comes up.

Religion isn't mentioned in my parents' house and wasn't when I was growing up, but if it was it would be...interesting.

My mother is a liberal unitarian
My father is an agnostic Buddhist
My brother is a born again Pentecostal Christian (as is his wife, and both of them looove to preach)
My sister is an atheist
I'm a Hindu and my wife is leaning towards Buddhism.


When my brother and his wife are next over from the states, there's going to be some interesting discussions, since they like harassing everyone over religion...

 

[Kilgore Trout]

My wife is an atheist. We're both atheists as a side-effect of having a rational worldview. I doubt I could be with someone who didn't share this fundamental worldview.

 

[Revoltingest]

You're married? My God, I've been assuming you lived alone under the boiler in the basement!

It's a big boiler. Now that one is off to college this year, we have more room down there.

 

[Smoke]

Right now we are in a "agree to disagree" situation.

Do any of you have/had the same situation? Any advice?

Agree to disagree.

Seriously, what else can you do? You can't force someone to share your views; you can't even force yourself to share his.

My husband is a Christian with a Baptist & Pentecostal background, and I'm a former Orthodox Christian (meaning I thought the whole Baptist-Pentecostal thing was fishy even when I was a Christian), who is now an atheist and a Buddhist.

For the most part we get along fine. We did have one awful moment when John said something about Noah's Ark, and I said, "You believe in Noah's Ark?!" and he said "You don't?!" The look of shock on both our faces must have been priceless.

But at least he's not a Creationist.

 

[sandandfoam]

For the most part we get along fine. We did have one awful moment when John said something about Noah's Ark, and I said, "You believe in Noah's Ark?!" and he said "You don't?!" The look of shock on both our faces must have been priceless.

That's really funny. I enjoyed it very much.