Do you feel guilty for your carnal desires?

[frg001]

Not sure whether to put this in religious debates as it tends to be the devout among us who answer yes to this question, but I'll post here anyway.

As a person with a partner, whether married or not, do you feel guilty when you have mental desires for other people other than your partner?

Do you think this is a sin? Do you feel the need to repent, or feel dirty?

Personally I see it as an entirely natural thing, and as long as you don't act on it, nothing to be ashamed of, or worry about.
Thoughts?

 

[zenzero]

Friend frg,

Personally I see it as an entirely natural thing, and as long as you don't act on it, nothing to be ashamed of, or worry about.
Thoughts?

You should worry as if you know what *KARMA* is then you have to transcend them rather transcend the very root of all desires, the MIND.
Love & rgds

 

[whereismynotecard]

I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but I'm certain just because you are dating or married to someone doesn't mean you will never ever think someone else is sexy ever again... (So my point is, that it's natural to feel that someone else is sexy if you already have a "partner".)

Orlando Bloom is sexy. David Duchovny is sexy. If I ever have a boyfriend or am married, I will still think that they are sexy. That's just the way it is. Of course, I would never have secks. But I'd love a big hug from those guys I mentioned earlier.

 

[Comicaze247]

Not at all. It's just a natural part of being human, of being an animal. Hormones are hormones, nothing more.

Though if it's something weird like being attracted to animals or children (and I mean pre-pubescent, not early-developed ), or some of the brutal fetishes I've heard of (probably shouldn't mention them here), then that's something to be ashamed of.

 

[Reverend Rick]

Mental desires are natural. Acting on them is another thing.

 

[frg001]

Mental desires are natural. Acting on them is another thing.

What about acting on them alone... if you get my drift?

Friend frg,

You should worry as if you know what *KARMA* is then you have to transcend them rather transcend the very root of all desires, the MIND.
Love & rgds

I understand , but I don't believe karma is anything other than a human concept.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Nope, not at all.

 

[zenzero]

Friend frg001,

I understand , but I don't believe karma is anything other than a human concept.

Well, till your *I* remains, you are bound to believe, what your *I* wishes.
Love & rgds

 

[Scott C.]

Not sure whether to put this in religious debates as it tends to be the devout among us who answer yes to this question, but I'll post here anyway.

As a person with a partner, whether married or not, do you feel guilty when you have mental desires for other people other than your partner?

Do you think this is a sin? Do you feel the need to repent, or feel dirty?

Personally I see it as an entirely natural thing, and as long as you don't act on it, nothing to be ashamed of, or worry about.
Thoughts?

Physical attraction or desire is normal and natural and I don't feel guilty about that. But, I do feel guilty if I dwell on these thoughts and allow fantasies to take over my thinking. When this happens, it turns from natural instinct into lust. Lust is a sin and can and should be controlled.

I guess at it's best, lust is a passing thought, which we could and should have controlled, but didn't. At it's worst, it can be a strong passionate and overriding desire and include serious contemplation of infidelity. I think when it reaches it's worst point, it's what Jesus meant when he said "he that lusts has already committed adultery in his heart".

 

[Dunemeister]

I don't feel guilty about having them. I just don't entertain them.

 

[Buttercup]

I used to feel guilty that I enjoyed looking at and fantasizing about men when I was a Christian. Now that I'm agnostic, I don't feel guilty and really appreciate the freedom. Funny thing is this new found freedom hasn't caused me to cheat. Imagine that.

 

[frg001]

Friend frg001,



Well, till your *I* remains, you are bound to believe, what your *I* wishes.
Love & rgds

Indeed. And my I will remain until I die, at which time I will cease to exist.

 

[Father Heathen]

We should only feel guilty about our desires if we act upon them and cause unjustified harm to others in the process.

 

[Sun Myung Moon]

natural animal instincts do not always match up or "jive" with the taught realities of the culture you are in, only those taught realities cause the ideas of guilt and shame, nothing more.

 

[tomspug]

Not sure whether to put this in religious debates as it tends to be the devout among us who answer yes to this question, but I'll post here anyway.

As a person with a partner, whether married or not, do you feel guilty when you have mental desires for other people other than your partner?

Do you think this is a sin? Do you feel the need to repent, or feel dirty?

Personally I see it as an entirely natural thing, and as long as you don't act on it, nothing to be ashamed of, or worry about.
Thoughts?

At the time, no, because I find a way to justify myself at the time. But once I think about it, I realize that if my wife knew my thoughts, it would hurt her deeply. Only then do I feel guilt, and I believe that it is sin. I am thankful for this realization because it encourages me to love my wife more than myself, which seems to me to be the "right thing".

Sure, if my wife never knew, no harm done, right? ... right?

 

[Father Heathen]

At the time, no, because I find a way to justify myself at the time. But once I think about it, I realize that if my wife knew my thoughts, it would hurt her deeply. Only then do I feel guilt, and I believe that it is sin. I am thankful for this realization because it encourages me to love my wife more than myself, which seems to me to be the "right thing".

Sure, if my wife never knew, no harm done, right? ... right?

But on the other hand your wife could just as likely have had similar thoughts. There is no human mind without a dark corner.

 

[tomspug]

But on the other hand your wife could just as likely have had similar thoughts. There is no human mind without a dark corner.

I don't disagree. We all have guilt, but that universality doesn't make it "right". It only proves that we universally have the potential to cause each other harm and that we, deep down, are universally guilty.

 

[Storm]

Not sure whether to put this in religious debates as it tends to be the devout among us who answer yes to this question, but I'll post here anyway.

As a person with a partner, whether married or not, do you feel guilty when you have mental desires for other people other than your partner?

Do you think this is a sin? Do you feel the need to repent, or feel dirty?

Personally I see it as an entirely natural thing, and as long as you don't act on it, nothing to be ashamed of, or worry about.
Thoughts?

I've discovered (the hard way) that I'm intensely monogamous by nature. When I'm with someone, I don't want anyone else. I might feel guilty if I did, but it's never come up. Or, I might begin to doubt my commitment to my partner.

Now, this isn't to say that I stop noticing particularly attractive people, just that it's a purely aesthetic enjoyment. Like art. For that, I feel no guilt and make no apologies.

 

[Father Heathen]

I don't disagree. We all have guilt, but that universality doesn't make it "right". It only proves that we universally have the potential to cause each other harm and that we, deep down, are universally guilty.

Guilt? For what? Thoughts & feelings are just thoughts & feelings. It's actions and their consequences that beget guilt. Most people have enough sense, restraint, responsibility, honesty, honor, integrity and enough grip on reality to not act upon their darker fantasies and desires. At least the ones that cause unjust harm to innocent people, that is.

 

[texan1]

I was talking to a friend about this very thing the other day. I have been happily married for 10 years. And I'll never forget something my husband said during our pre-marriage counseling sessions.....we were asked if we saw our partner as our "one true soulmate". Being young and romantic, I said yes. He said no. At first I was disappointed but he explained that he loved me and that he CHOOSES to devote his life to me. He said it was unrealistic to think of marriage as finding our one true soulmate. With all the people in the world, we could be compatible with others....and no doubt we will come across people in our lives who we connect with in some way and whom we are attracted to. That is only human. But if we think of marriage in those terms we would be more likely to act on those desires, thinking "oh no! maybe that's my real soulmate!"

Anyway, my point is that you should not feel guilty for your carnal thoughts. Anyone who says they never have thoughts like that probably isn't telling the truth. I agree with those who say you should only feel guilty when you act on them.