Does It Matter To You Whether Others Understand You?

[Sunstone]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself? Why or why not?

 

[vandervalley]

In a court of justice u'd beter hope the judge and the jurors understand your position perfectly

 

[Quagmire]

I try not to take my understanding or misunderstanding of myself too seriously, or anybody else's.

What bothers me is when someone has their minds made up about someone before they've even attempted to understand them. It's such a cop-out, and it gives people excuses for all kinds of nasty and annoying crappolla.

 

[Scuba Pete]

What do you mean, Sunstone?

 

[Sunstone]

I try not to take my understanding or misunderstanding of myself too seriously, or anybody else's.

What bothers me is when someone has their minds made up about someone before they've even attempted to understand them. It's such a cop-out, and it gives people excuses for all kinds of nasty and annoying crappolla.

Excellent post!

 

[Willamena]

Oh, God, yes.

 

[Bathsheba]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself? Why or why not?

I care about my immediate friends and family. I enjoy the understanding we have of each other and it is important to a degree that we understand each other.

I think we would find that couples often fight over not being understood and it seems perfectly natural to want to be understood. It is human to want to be understood. Being understood is one of the things that give us a feeling of connectedness. Tribes are powerful in part because it is there that we have a sense of being understood. Underestimating the human need to be understood could have some problems IMO.

As with anything, giving something too much importance is also problematic and I like the way Quagmire put, it is good to relax about our place in the world and not be overly concerned about being understood. But that probably only happens if we are sociopaths or already have a sense of connectedness in some group. (I'm joking about those being the only two places somebody could be relaxed about being understood and it is a good thing that Quagmire isn't worried about being thought sociopathic :flirt: )

Regarding the specific qualification that Sunstone made, "in the same way you understand yourself". That's a good question and it is tough for me to answer because I'm not entirely sure that I understand myself. But I get where he is coming from and would just say if you can understand me the way I understand myself I hope you don't run away.

I am significantly less interested in online people understanding me which unfortunately might be the main reason I am capable of so much crappolla.

 

[eudaimonia]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself? Why or why not?

Yes, it does. Psychological visibility is a human need. Who likes to be misunderstood?

Also, I think relationships function better when there is mutual understanding. People are able to act with, instead of against, one's partner/friend much more effectively. There is also the increased potential for a character-friendship.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[vandervalley]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself? Why or why not?

Sometimes it matters while other times it doesn't

For example if I'm fighting a court case then it does matter but if I am simply debating another person regarding an issue that doesn't involve potential loss of lives then it won't matter much.

But then again if I am a senator or an MP debating wether to pass a bill etc. then it will be important that others in the parliament understand my position perfectly.

So it really depends on the situation one is in.

 

[Random]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself?

Down deep, I suppose there is always a part of me that wishes everyone identified with my perspective and constantly affirmed etc...but that's not real. It's childish.

I do not think it is possible for others to understand me as I understand myself. I do not think that is a desirable thing that they would want to either.

Why or why not

Did you ever hear about the fella called IF ONLY? He died a lost cause, and his last words were..."ahh, if only..."

 

[Buttercup]

Does it matter to you whether others understand you in the same way you understand yourself? Why or why not?

What matters to me is if people understand my motivation when communicating. I try to be as transparent as possible and generally it works.

The only people I expect to understand me how I understand myself are people I've known for a long, long time. And even then they get it wrong sometimes....but, that's ok because I still get them wrong at times too.