Does paying a dowry mean you own your spouse?

[Thanda]

Can I get you to e-mail that to Mrs. Wirey?

LOL! No problem, she can be my guinea pig - if it goes well for you then I can send it to Mrs Thanda

 

[ADigitalArtist]

Okay, can you tell me why you feel fidelity is an expectation while marital sex is not a right?

I agreed to fidelity and so did he when we got married. I did not agree to sex-on-tap. What I did agree to, and so did he, is sex when we both mutually feel like it. Besides, I already stated that I'm fine with polyamorous or open relationships for those who want them. I just don't. And I don't have an expectation of continuance of the marriage if that's a problem with my partner. And he as well.

I mean, I know you make it sound easy to leave a marriage but I'm sure you're aware that it's not.

Hell of a lot easier than continuing a trend of guilting and resentment over unequal ideas of sexual activity. Something I'm sure you're aware can change with age and with health.

In my country the energy provider is monopoly - owned by the government. Imagine if this monopoly told us we have no right to demand electricity from it - it will provide the electricity as and when it feels like it and if we're not happy we're welcome to leave the country. Does that sound fair to you?

I don't think that's equitable. Sex is not like energy, and your body isn't a service anyone is entitled to.

I'm not saying a spouse should have a right to force themselves on their partner. What I am saying is that each spouse should be well aware that sex is an expectation in the marriage (unless they each declared themselves asexual before it) and so when any one of them experiences a drop in libido they should busy themselves to ensure the problem is corrected. They should not sit back thinking it is normal and okay.

And yet a drop in libido is completely natural and completely okay. Little blue pills aren't natural and, for many, aren't ok.

 

[Rye_P]

It depends on the culture background, I must say.
Some part of our country have a popular understanding that dowry is paid by the groom family (female side) to the bride family (the male side) to "buy" the bride, as after the marriage, the bride is the part of the groom family and have no connection with his family (this means that after the wedding, the bride need approval from the groom and/or her family for his major decision). Vice versa. So within this culture, yeah paying a dowry mean you or your family own your spouse.
But in another part, dowry is a "thank-you-gift-for-give-birth-to-this-lovely-spouse-of-mine", so it have different meaning tho.