Empathy is not for Everyone

[The Sum of Awe]

Why should you put yourself through arduous torture of missing someone, thinking of someone, caring for someone, loving them, and gain nothing in return? Especially when possibly there is someone out there who will.

 

[Quagmire]

doesn't sound like you're talking about empathy.

 

[Madhuri]

As Quag said, this is not quite empathy we're talking about.

Sounds more like love. I don't think there is a 'should'. Love is natural and so this will happen. Love is bound to cause us some pain if the thing we love escapes us. But on the flip side, we'd be empty shells without love.

 

[Sunstone]

Doesn't sound like empathy. Sounds like love.

I try never to expect anything from loving someone. Takes all the fun out of it.

 

[ChristineES]

I agree, that is not empathy. I don't think we can really help whom we love and who we miss, even if the person you miss doesn't care.

 

[Me Myself]

I wouldn`t even say it sounds like love, I would say it sounds like attachment more than anything. (though I am not denying that they do tend to come together 99% of the time, but you seem to be describing the atachment part only)

Love, true love, in my opinion, is it`s own reward. Doing something for someone makes you HAPPY in itself, because you see that person happy because of what you did. (given that you LOVE this person)

The way I see it, Love is simply good for you. Loving others is the best way of loving yourself, and loving yourself is the best way of loving others.

IMHO.

 

[Kerr]

Why should you put yourself through arduous torture of missing someone, thinking of someone, caring for someone, loving them, and gain nothing in return? Especially when possibly there is someone out there who will.

I just like caring for someone who doesnt care about me more then I like not caring about someone . Its not empathy, though. Or love. Its just caring and I like to care.

 

[Cassiopia]

Empathy is feeling or understanding another person's emotions. Some people have that "gift" or ability whether they want it or not. It can be very useful and enlightening when understood and controlled.
But as other have said, Sum seems to be talking about love or attachment.

 

[Quintessence]

Yeah! Why bother caring about people when you can be an anti-social psychopath instead!

Hah, sorry, but that's the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the thread title and then the OP. I jest, but there's a grain of seriousness there. At any rate, demanding something in return from other people is... well, it's not my way of doing things. By Honor's Code, give assistance and kindness to those who need it. No strings attached.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Yeah! Why bother caring about people when you can be an anti-social psychopath instead!

Not exactly what I was saying but alright

Hah, sorry, but that's the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the thread title and then the OP. I jest, but there's a grain of seriousness there. At any rate, demanding something in return from other people is... well, it's not my way of doing things. By Honor's Code, give assistance and kindness to those who need it. No strings attached.

Nobody really needs it, but I think there are some who deserve it more than others.

 

[Willamena]

Why should you put yourself through arduous torture of missing someone, thinking of someone, caring for someone, loving them, and gain nothing in return? Especially when possibly there is someone out there who will.

One could put oneself through those things because they realize they don't "gain nothing in return." What they gain is: miss someone, think of someone, care for someone, love someone.

 

[Quintessence]

'Tis my Code, not yours. You're under no obligation to follow it or agree with it.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

One could put oneself through those things because they realize they don't "gain nothing in return." What they gain is: miss someone, think of someone, care for someone, love someone.

How are those a gain?

 

[Nerthus]

Why should you put yourself through arduous torture of missing someone, thinking of someone, caring for someone, loving them, and gain nothing in return? Especially when possibly there is someone out there who will.

I have, many times, put myself through all of this, and I very much doubt they did the same. It's part of life, however, and although at the time I wished I didn't feel that way - it wasn't really something I could control.

As the old saying goes - it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all - at least experiencing these feelings show that I can. With the bad, there is also good, and I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the good.

 

[Me Myself]

How are those a gain?

Love in itself gives pleasure.

Empathy in itself is both pleasurable and painful depending on the moment.

 

[BHSU_Student]

Psychotherapists tend to get what is called "compassion fatigue." Empathy can certainly be painful when the person you are being empathetic to has or is going through a lot. It can take a huge toll on your mind and body.

 

[Willamena]

How are those a gain?

When life itself is a gain, every bit of life is also a gain.

 

[idav]

Why should you put yourself through arduous torture of missing someone, thinking of someone, caring for someone, loving them, and gain nothing in return? Especially when possibly there is someone out there who will.

With the knowledge that you have, is it so easy to forget the suffering you know happens? Even if their suffering is all in their head it is still real suffering. Even the torture we might put ourselves through in a dream, the pain seems real.