Everyone judges

[Rachel Rugelach]

Everyone judges -- it's a basic survival trait. But does the judging of others often extend beyond self-preservation and enter a realm of unnecessary unkindness?

To what extent should we apply religious teachings towards judging others, when more often than not we should be attending to our own shortcomings? Should the breaking of some social or religious taboo really trouble us more than an act of unkindness?

I admit that I judge. I tend to judge people by their kindness (or lack of kindness) to others. I think that judging a person by their kindness to others is also a logical means of self-preservation. Of course, there are sociopaths who pretend to be kind and who can fool us initially, but I think that, eventually, people tend to show their true colors.

I sometimes wonder, though: Is it unkind to judge others by their lack of kindness? But, eh, we're only human. If we're going to judge (and we are, because we're human) then I think that judging others by their kindness wouldn't be the worst thing we could do.

What is your opinion?

 

[ChristineM]

I am forever quoting Matthew 7:1 to Christians who judge other Christians with "he/she is not a true Christian"

 

[Audie]

Only you know what is in your heart.

"Unkind" is an interesting word to
unpack. Etymologically, that is.

 

[rocala]

I am forever quoting Matthew 7:1 to Christians who judge other Christians with "he/she is not a true Christian"

Well said Christine.

 

[JustGeorge]

I guess I judge everyone. But not in a sense "Phil is a good guy, but Rhoda is a jerk". More "Phil seems pleasant, but isn't always self aware, and I think Rhoda gets irritated by the stress of redirecting him."

I analyze the situations around me a lot. I dislike few people, and seldom find a kindred spirit that develops into a friendship, but I like to get a sense of why people do what they do. I enjoy people in general, and if I can plate Phil's food so he doesn't take half the meal and that makes Rhoda relax a bit, I'm glad to be able to help improve the situation.

 

[Rachel Rugelach]

I guess I judge everyone. But not in a sense "Phil is a good guy, but Rhoda is a jerk". More "Phil seems pleasant, but isn't always self aware, and I think Rhoda gets irritated by the stress of redirecting him."

I analyze the situations around me a lot. I dislike few people, and seldom find a kindred spirit that develops into a friendship, but I like to get a sense of why people do what they do. I enjoy people in general, and if I can plate Phil's food so he doesn't take half the meal and that makes Rhoda relax a bit, I'm glad to be able to help improve the situation.

I like your example of how one can judge some people and still be kind about it. Also, your solution to an example of a "people problem" sounds to me like a practical type of kindness!

 

[Revoltingest]

I am forever quoting Matthew 7:1 to Christians who judge other Christians with "he/she is not a true Christian"

That would be me, ie, not a Christian at all.
I judge people.

 

[ChristineM]

That would be me, ie, not a Christian at all.
I judge people.

You don't say "he/she is not a true Christian" do you. I've never seen you write such judgement

 

[Rachel Rugelach]

You don't say "he/she is not a true Christian" do you. I've never seen you write such judgement

I wouldn't know what a true Christian is. In Judaism, you're either observant or non-observant, but you're always Jewish regardless.

That said, I'm going to be observant now and sign off, as Shabbos approaches.

Wishing everyone a good weekend, and that people treat you kindly!

 

[Revoltingest]

You don't say "he/she is not a true Christian" do you. I've never seen you write such judgement

I let Christians self identify.

 

[Brickjectivity]

What is your opinion?

I sometimes wonder, though: Is it unkind to judge others by their lack of kindness? But, eh, we're only human. If we're going to judge (and we are, because we're human) then I think that judging others by their kindness wouldn't be the worst thing we could do.

It is not unkind, but you could be more clever about it. We all could. Self preservation is something you've mentioned, and self preservation requires an understanding that people are duplicitous. Hiding our true feelings is important in society, particularly in the workplace. We are required to do it all the time, so we train people to be even more duplicitous and even better at hiding feelings. Some parents teach this to their children, too.

Overall most people are unkind by being shy. It is not a positive trait that we live in shells. I consider shyness to be one of the lesser known immoral states. It is a type of neglect. I'm aware of it, because it has always been a weakness for me. There is something powerful and life changing about a person who shares themselves, and there is something cold and deadening about shy people. But what are we to do? When we enter a new place the smartest thing is to blend in.

I remember when I went back to college in my thirties, and most students were young. They were all afraid to show their real selves. They stayed in cliques, in groups where they understood the backgrounds of their peers. Generally whites stayed with whites, blacks with blacks, girls with girls, etc. Girls wore the same fashion sandals, not because there was a uniform but to blend in. Cowards? No. It is not cowardice. It is the cruelty of others, and someone is always waiting to find a mark...someone who stands out and is slightly weaker than the rest. The crowds of shy people are afraid and are herded like cattle by fear of being marked as a little bit different.

 

[syo]

Judging is worthless.

 

[JustGeorge]

It is not unkind, but you could be more clever about it. We all could. Self preservation is something you've mentioned, and self preservation requires an understanding that people are duplicitous. Hiding our true feelings is important in society, particularly in the workplace. We are required to do it all the time, so we train people to be even more duplicitous and even better at hiding feelings. Some parents teach this to their children, too.

Overall most people are unkind by being shy. It is not a positive trait that we live in shells. I consider shyness to be one of the lesser known immoral states. It is a type of neglect. I'm aware of it, because it has always been a weakness for me. There is something powerful and life changing about a person who shares themselves, and there is something cold and deadening about shy people. But what are we to do? When we enter a new place the smartest thing is to blend in.

I remember when I went back to college in my thirties, and most students were young. They were all afraid to show their real selves. They stayed in cliques, in groups where they understood the backgrounds of their peers. Generally whites stayed with whites, blacks with blacks, girls with girls, etc. Girls wore the same fashion sandals, not because there was a uniform but to blend in. Cowards? No. It is not cowardice. It is the cruelty of others, and someone is always waiting to find a mark...someone who stands out and is slightly weaker than the rest. The crowds of shy people are afraid and are herded like cattle by fear of being marked as a little bit different.

I don't know as if being shy is always a choice. I went through a good chunk of my life painfully shy. I never tried to fit or blend in(I tended to be the sore thumb in the room, still am), but I could not make myself talk. I really, really wanted to. But it just wouldn't come out. I tried to smile a lot, to show people I didn't hate them. I wanted to show myself, but something was wired weird in me, and it prevented me from doing so most of the time.

In high school, a very lovely boy wore a very lovely skirt. He was a kind person, not shy at all(he actually jumped down someone's throat who was bullying me on our first day at that school). I decided I would tell him he had a nice skirt. It took me all day to muster up the courage, but finally, I saw him in the hall, told him so. He smiled and told me thank you, and I smiled and went away. I'm sure he had no idea how much strength and effort that took on my part.

 

[Jimmy]

I never judge others. I judge the act.

 

[osgart]

I wouldn't know what a true Christian is. In Judaism, you're either observant or non-observant, but you're always Jewish regardless.

That said, I'm going to be observant now and sign off, as Shabbos approaches.

Wishing everyone a good weekend, and that people treat you kindly!

I think there's a certain kind of judgment forbidden in Christianity; that is condemning people with hate to the worst possible eternal fate. That kind of judgment would be their God's sole authority, and no other. I think that goes in line with their Christian precept of love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. I suppose Jesus was the perfect example of all that on Earth, in his ministry, and crucifixion. I've never seen it done though in real life.

Christians are told to 'be ye separate' from non believers. So they'll have to make judgment calls on that.

I can't imagine being able to live without making ordinary judgments on things acceptable and unacceptable.

Me, I certainly have the opinion that heinous crimes deserve the worst possible fates.

 

[We Never Know]

Everyone judges -- it's a basic survival trait. But does the judging of others often extend beyond self-preservation and enter a realm of unnecessary unkindness?

To what extent should we apply religious teachings towards judging others, when more often than not we should be attending to our own shortcomings? Should the breaking of some social or religious taboo really trouble us more than an act of unkindness?

I admit that I judge. I tend to judge people by their kindness (or lack of kindness) to others. I think that judging a person by their kindness to others is also a logical means of self-preservation. Of course, there are sociopaths who pretend to be kind and who can fool us initially, but I think that, eventually, people tend to show their true colors.

I sometimes wonder, though: Is it unkind to judge others by their lack of kindness? But, eh, we're only human. If we're going to judge (and we are, because we're human) then I think that judging others by their kindness wouldn't be the worst thing we could do.

What is your opinion?

Yep everyone judges someone in one way or another. Ironically when you(I) say everyone judges we are actually judging them.

 

[VoidCat]

I judge. I have to. I take care of kids most the day some days. If I don't judge what the situations they get themselves into or try to figure out their motives then the kids could get hurt. Like if a kid hits another kid I have to judge if that kid should or shouldn't be around the kid they just hurt at least for a little while.

I don't see kids as horrible. But I do see them as people worthy of respect and kindness. That's a judgement. I judge my coworkers if they mistreat a kid like yell at a kid over something minor. I might think oh they must be frustrated with the kid but if yelling is their go to all the time i might judge that this person doesnt know many techniques to care for children in the realm of discipline and thus only yells at them. And I might try and see if i can give them better methods of disciplining children

 

[Zwing]

Of course, there are sociopaths who pretend to be kind and who can fool us initially, but I think that, eventually, people tend to show their true colors.

Not me! I’m saving up all my sociopathy for when I get a corporate job, where a surfeit of sociopathy tends to be a “natural selector”.