I'm going to try something different, take it like an exercise where you can debate. I will state a bunch of things and you tell me where things are wrong, if at all:
Before the arrival of humans, God and Lucifer had some difference, and Lucifer apparently took a third of the angels with him ( Revelation 12:4 ) in rebel and was cast to the Earth. In the garden, he temped Eve. Earth, not hell, is his kingdom and at the end, he gets cast into a lake of fire burning with God's wrath as punishment ( Revelation 20:10 ). Then there is a new heaven and a new Earth.
I am a Latter-day Saint - a restorationist Christian - and I believe that there are other scriptures and sources of truth outside of the Bible.
I will supplement my response with a few verses from the Doctrine and Covenants (D&C) - a book which contains revelations from God given to a man I believe to be a prophet - Joseph Smith Jr. - and it is considered modern-day scripture in my Church.
The Bible will be my main source though.
I do not believe that you got get things "wrong" - I feel like you did a decent job here - but I would like to point out a few things from my point of view.
First off - it is true that the scriptures claim that the rebellion of Lucifer and those who followed him took place before Adam and Eve were formed - but it is my belief that "we" (i.e. our spirits) did exist at that time and we were actively engaged against the rebellion.
It is my belief that before we came to Earth we existed and lived with God as His spirit children (Acts 17:28, Hebrews 12:9) - alongside Lucifer - and we were "chosen" before the "foundation of the world" (Ephesians 1:3-4) and that we sang and rejoiced when the foundations of the Earth were laid (Job 38:7), God knew us before we were formed in the womb (Jeremiah 1:4-5) and our spirits will return to God upon death (Ecclesiastes 12:7).
The Doctrine and Covenants claims that, "Man was also in the
beginning with God.
Intelligence, or the
light of
truth, was not
created or made, neither indeed can be." (D&C 93:29)
I believe that we took an active role against Lucifer's rebellion - which is evident by the fact that we have come to Earth and inherited physical bodies - or as Jude would put it we "kept our first estate" (Jude 1:6) and therefore gained our "second estate".
Lucifer and those who followed him we cast down to the Earth and will never be able to inherit a physical body.
Those who followed Lucifer - as well as those who commit the unpardonable sin while in their "second estate" are referred to as "perdition" and cannot repent of their sins and receive forgiveness in this life or the next (John 17:2, Hebrews 6:4-6).
The Doctrine and Covenants claims that these are called "perdition" because "the heavens
wept over [them]" and they are the only ones who will not be redeemed (D&C 76:25-38).
I personally do not believe the "third" mentioned in Revelation is a reference to a numerical third - like one out of every three of the hosts (stars) of Heaven - but rather a "third part" or a third faction.
I believe that God's children may have been split in three different "parts" or ways of thinking and Lucifer manipulated the one faction that most closely agreed with his goals.
Even though Earth has been referred to as Lucifer's "kingdom" - I do not take that literally.
I believe it is referred to in this way simply due to the fact that all of us are currently subject to both sin and death and he has been allowed a certain level of influence to manipulate us and we are more likely than not to listen to him than God.
I do believe that Lucifer and his minions are currently experiencing the effects of Hell.
I believe that Hell is a temporary "condition" - not an actual place - and it exists upon the Earth - only Lucifer, his minions and the unrepentant who die will experience Hell and this condition will only last up until the Final Judgment.
The Doctrine and Covenants claims that those those who inherit the condition of Hell upon death will be subject to Lucifer until "the last Resurrection" which will take place after "the fulness of times" - and if they did not commit the unpardonable sin they will inherit a place in the Telestial Kingdom of God - which is considered the lowest tier of glory (D&C 76:81-86;98-109)
Then the Earth will be celestialized and inherit it's place near God's throne (new Heaven and Earth) - Lucifer, his minions, those who committed the unpardonable sin (a.k.a "perdition"), along with death and Hell will be cast into the "lake of fire" (Revelation 20:10;14).
Those who did not commit the unpardonable sin - yet still spent some time in Hell for being unrepentant - will receive their Final Judgment and receive a place in God's Kingdom.
I hope this made sense and apologize if it was too lengthy.
I just wanted to give you another Christian spin on these topics.