Exposé! Jesus Made a Mistake! Christian Religion Refuted!

[Sunstone]

By jove, I guess you've really gone and done it!!

It took 2,000 years, but you alone have done it.

You’ve single-handedly laid bear his failure for all to see and destroyed the very foundation of Christianity. No need for Dan Brown and the Da Vinci Code anymore.

Incredible! I just wish you hadn’t waited so long, I really do. It would have been nice if you’d done this before so many of us had to suffer through years of all that God-bothering, Bible-bashing nonsense!

In all modesty, it just suddenly came to me after reading Skwim's thread: "Why has no one seen this in 2,000 years", I exclaimed! "I must be positively brilliant despite those six or seven IQ tests to the contrary!" Do you think I should buy my coat and tails now or wait until after the Nobel Prize Committee calls me?

 

[Sunstone]

I say pitiful baloney. Christ is both fully human, and fully God. satan is an extremely powerful spirit being. Neither can be restricted by your very limited perceptions. Christ limited himself, satan did not. What could be seen, perceived, observed is unlimited. Heck, today satellites can see round the world all in real time and they are just the result of puny human development. The only mistake is between your ears and your complete lack of understanding. Try again, your alleged checkmate is open on all sides with a number of squares. It isn´t even check, let alone checkmate.

It's always heart-warming to see yet another RFer has a keen sense of humor.

 

[shmogie]

The bible being used to do science? You really got them now!

We all know that science is the reason the Bible was written. You don't need to read or study anything else because all knowledge is contained in the Bible! If you interpret it correctly, you will even gain certain foreknowledge of everything that will ever happen in the future too!

And since you believe all these things, I have a cult called "True Christianity" that you can come join* to gain some of the special insights that scholars poring over this magnificent tomb have revealed through numerological study.

*subject to a 10% of all your income before taxes, must be a member in good standing, some restrictions apply

Well, actually, you know you, you are quite wrong. I say you know, because you actually know you are wrong. The Bibles primary purpose is to explain mans relationship to God for mans ultimate good. God designed and created the universe and all the related physical laws that exist. Western science is based upon extremely great Christian scientists, Copernicus, Newton, etc, etc. There is no Conflict between science and Christianity, there is conflict between interpretation and scientific error and interpretation and scientific truth. Your sarcasm belies your ignorance, no matter, there are alot of you about. As CS Lewis said, ¨the less the Bible is read, the more it is interpreted.¨ I might add, those who have little or no knowledge of the Bible pontificate about what it says, the most.

 

[Sunstone]

Well, actually, you know you, you are quite wrong. I say you know, because you actually know you are wrong. The Bibles primary purpose is to explain mans relationship to God for mans ultimate good. God designed and created the universe and all the related physical laws that exist. Western science is based upon extremely great Christian scientists, Copernicus, Newton, etc, etc. There is no Conflict between science and Christianity, there is conflict between interpretation and scientific error and interpretation and scientific truth. Your sarcasm belies your ignorance, no matter, there are alot of you about. As CS Lewis said, ¨the less the Bible is read, the more it is interpreted.¨ I might add, those who have little or no knowledge of the Bible pontificate about what it says, the most.

Shmogie, do you think there might be some truth to the rumor that this thread was posted in the jokes section of the Forum? Just askin'.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Matthew 4:8 reveals s supremely shocking truth: "Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor".

A "very high mountain", eh? From which "all the kingdoms of the world" could be seen, eh?

But that would ONLY be possible if THE EARTH WAS FLAT, AND YET, THE EARTH IS ROUND!!!!

How can we ever again believe Christianity is a true and genuine religion given this glaring mistake! I say, "No! No! Tut! Tut! No! No!". That's what I say! What say you?



Checkmate Christians!

Must of been a perfectly nice sunny and cloudless day. We all know Jesus and Satan went off on a picnic. They're not kidding anybody. Wink wink nudge nudge.

 

[Curious George]

Matthew 4:8 reveals a supremely shocking truth: "Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor".

A "very high mountain", eh? From which "all the kingdoms of the world" could be seen, eh?

But that would ONLY be possible if THE EARTH WAS FLAT, AND YET, THE EARTH IS ROUND!!!!

How can we ever again believe Christianity is a true and genuine religion given this glaring mistake! I say, "No! No! Tut! Tut! No! No!". That's what I say! What say you?



Checkmate Christians!

Nah, if you get high enough, you can see anything.

 

[Jumi]

Even if it was flat and there was no obstacle to seeing the other side of the planet, if there was such a tall mountain, I doubt your eyes could view much of the countries...

 

[Aupmanyav]

Heck, today satellites can see round the world all in real time and they are just the result of puny human development.

If Devil wanted to show all kingdoms in the world to Jesus, it is easier through technology (Google Earth), He did not need to go to the top of the highest mountain (Everest? Sinai? Hermon?).

Must of been a perfectly nice sunny and cloudless day. We all know Jesus and Satan went off on a picnic. They're not kidding anybody. Wink wink nudge nudge.

Did they have Mary Magdalene in the tow?

 

[JoshuaTree]

Matthew 4:8 reveals a supremely shocking truth: "Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor".

A "very high mountain", eh? From which "all the kingdoms of the world" could be seen, eh?

But that would ONLY be possible if THE EARTH WAS FLAT, AND YET, THE EARTH IS ROUND!!!!

How can we ever again believe Christianity is a true and genuine religion given this glaring mistake! I say, "No! No! Tut! Tut! No! No!". That's what I say! What say you?



Checkmate Christians!

Wouldn't the farther-away kingdoms have looked smaller and less splendous than the closer-up kingdoms?

 

[Debater Slayer]

Going by some of the posts in this thread, I'm having a sneaking suspicion that Jesus might have made a mistake by not including a chapter in the Bible about recognizing jokes.

 

[Ponder This]

In all modesty, it just suddenly came to me after reading Skwim's thread: "Why has no one seen this in 2,000 years", I exclaimed! "I must be positively brilliant despite those six or seven IQ tests to the contrary!" Do you think I should buy my coat and tails now or wait until after the Nobel Prize Committee calls me?

Why wait? But I think you need to write a book first to get recognition. I know it only took you seven sentences to make your point, but I can seeing you dragging it out to a good solid 500 pages of text. You add my recommendation to the front cover, obviously anything you write is pure genius.

Going by some of the posts in this thread, I'm having a sneaking suspicion that Jesus might have made a mistake by not including a chapter in the Bible about recognizing jokes.

To be fair though, where is it recorded that Jesus laughed?
And why is it that whenever the women in the Bible laugh, they lie and say they didn't?