*~ Falling in Like ~*

[Deidre]

I was looking for a ''relationship/dating'' sub-forum here, but couldn't find one. Alas, this one will have to do.

Well...I think I'm falling in like. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to feel this way. But, I'm letting myself feel for a change, instead of keeping my guard up. I tend to have trust issues with men, stemming from a childhood that was way less than ideal. My dad and I have been getting along a lot better, however...and perhaps that is enabling me to open up more to the possibility of love. JUST THE POSSIBLITY. lol ^_^

I ended a very strong/healthy relationship with an ex bf last year, and before him...I dated tons of jerks. My neighbor and I have been friends for a few years and taking it to a different level has been...really fun, and a breath of fresh air from dealing with the pain of my grandmother's death. I think she would want me to soar, and not stay down.

He and I made sushi together tonight at his place...and watched movies. And...

And...

^_^

Falling in like............ever feel that way? How would YOU describe it?

 

[Faybull]

Hopefully you ate all the sushi, not very good left over.


I would describe it as a plethora of experience, you know when you stop loving. That doesn't mean hating then, but means enough of being jaded and like the world is against you. You are the world, we all play our part... life is good, do good things, you will enjoy life.
Cheers!

 

[Deidre]

Hopefully you ate all the sushi, not very good left over.


I would describe it as a plethora of experience, you know when you stop loving. That doesn't mean hating then, but means enough of being jaded and like the world is against you. You are the world, we all play our part... life is good, do good things, you will enjoy life.
Cheers!

Yes, you are so right.

And we made only two raw rolls haha ^_^

 

[Mequa]

Falling in "like" has to be healthier than falling head-over-heels in "love", at any rate.

Sexual contact does lead to long-term liking, in my experience - if there is not serious hurt. I bumped into my old neighbour recently who I had a fling with around 6 yrs ago, which ended quite amicably. She still to this day does not realise she was the one I lost my virginity to, hahaha. She did not notice she was my "first".

We hadn't seen each other for years, yet were still happy to see each other and catch up (purely platonically, that is). There can be positive bonds formed which endure, long outlasting any sexual relationship, if sexual contact remains positive and non-toxic, and firm boundaries are in place from the beginning, and any split is amicable enough.

I'll go for falling in "like" if the liking is non-toxic, any day.

 

[Deidre]

Falling in "like" has to be healthier than falling head-over-heels in "love", at any rate.

Sexual contact does lead to long-term liking, in my experience - if there is not serious hurt. I bumped into my old neighbour recently who I had a fling with around 6 yrs ago, which ended quite amicably. She still to this day does not realise she was the one I lost my virginity to, hahaha. She did not notice she was my "first".

We hadn't seen each other for years, yet were still happy to see each other and catch up (purely platonically, that is). There can be positive bonds formed which endure, long outlasting any sexual relationship, if sexual contact remains positive and non-toxic, and firm boundaries are in place from the beginning, and any split is amicable enough.

I'll go for falling in "like" if the liking is non-toxic, any day.

You make me laugh, Mequa...you say things that are just so funny. lol @ your neighbor. Neighbors make better lovers? Is this the moral of this story, hmmm? lol jk

You make a good point about falling in like...you know something? So many people don't ''like'' their boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses...seems like they go from infatuation to love, and they don't stop to BECOME friends, first. As you know, I'm not really interested in marrying...but, I think the best marriages I've seen, or even LTR's have been those whereby the two in the relationship genuinely LIKED one another, and just enjoyed one another.

 

[jeager106]

I was looking for a ''relationship/dating'' forum, but couldn't find one. Alas, this one will have to do.

But there are hundred of dating sites on the net.

Well...I think I'm falling in like. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to feel this way. But, I'm letting myself feel for a change, instead of keeping my guard up. I tend to have trust issues with men, stemming from a childhood that was way less than ideal.
Have you been in therapy for the "childhood issues".

My dad and I have been getting along a lot better, however...and perhaps that is enabling me to open up more to the possibility of love. JUST THE POSSIBLITY. lol ^_^

I ended a very strong/healthy relationship with an ex bf last year,

..strong and healthy? so why end it?

and before him...I dated tons of jerks.

Tons of jerks? Have a selection issue perhaps?


My neighbor and I have been friends for a few years and taking it to a different level has been...really fun, and a breath of fresh air from dealing with the pain of my grandmother's death.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think she would want me to soar, and not stay down.
I'm sure she would.

He and I made sushi together tonight at his place...and watched movies. And...

And...

^_^

Falling in like............ever feel that way? How would YOU describe it?

Two and a half years ago I fell into like with a woman. I considered her qualities first.
Things that are important to me.
Yes, I've had my share of jerks also.
I didn't realize how much I distrusted women until I entered therapy for my own childhood issues.
She and I live about 45 miles apart. Things I consider important to me:
Honesty. She is honest something that comes with spending time together.
Ability to share openly. We do. Over time of course, too much "self disclosure too quickly can be bad.
We share thoughts, feelings, discuss spiritual principles openly and found much in common.
She has grandchildren that aren't even blood relatives. They are children of her deceased husban, thus no blood realtives. She treats her former husbands children and their children the same as she treats her own son and his children.
She sees no difference.
Good credit. Establishing and keeping good financial credit speaks volumes about a person.
She lives in a 4,500 sq. ft. home, fairly new one, has a Jaguar she doesn't drive, a nice boat, a home in Florida, owns her own business she has managed for 30 years.
Her friends have been with her for over 40 years and are loyal to her.
She is loyal to them.
Loyalty is a fine quality.
I won't bore you with more but we have been together for over 2.5 years and never even had a heated discussion much less an argument.
I'm happy with her and she is happy with me.
I treat her daughter like my own. I'm older but am blessed with a fine 15 year old son.
She is very much his mother and he is her son.
A genuine, loving, woman with fine maternal instincts.
The home in Florida the Jag, the boat, the huge new home, the bass lake in the back no one fishes but me are all just gingerbread.
Honest.
O.K. it's a "guy" thing.
We also like sushi.

 

[Sunstone]

Liking your partner is either just as important as loving them, or even more important, in my opinion.

 

[Sunstone]

...I dated tons of jerks.

WHOOT!!! Does that mean I've got a chance with you?

 

[dust1n]

Falling in like............ever feel that way? How would YOU describe it?

 

[The Hammer]

I was looking for a ''relationship/dating'' sub-forum here, but couldn't find one. Alas, this one will have to do.

Well...I think I'm falling in like. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to feel this way. But, I'm letting myself feel for a change, instead of keeping my guard up. I tend to have trust issues with men, stemming from a childhood that was way less than ideal. My dad and I have been getting along a lot better, however...and perhaps that is enabling me to open up more to the possibility of love. JUST THE POSSIBLITY. lol ^_^

I ended a very strong/healthy relationship with an ex bf last year, and before him...I dated tons of jerks. My neighbor and I have been friends for a few years and taking it to a different level has been...really fun, and a breath of fresh air from dealing with the pain of my grandmother's death. I think she would want me to soar, and not stay down.

He and I made sushi together tonight at his place...and watched movies. And...

And...

^_^

Falling in like............ever feel that way? How would YOU describe it?

Congratulations!

 

[Deidre]

WHOOT!!! Does that mean I've got a chance with you?

hahaha! Stay tuned, my track record for relationships is 6 months ...so...there might be a vacancy.

 

[mainliner]

hahaha! Stay tuned, my track record for relationships is 6 months ...so...there might be a vacancy.

6 months u say

bad track record you say

all men are bostards ....... Correct ?

i would like to book inadvance for that " vacancy" ...... Thanks













Ps........i like the " falling in like" view on love it makes you wonder what the future holds for it

 

[Deidre]

Two and a half years ago I fell into like with a woman. I considered her qualities first.
Things that are important to me.
Yes, I've had my share of jerks also.
I didn't realize how much I distrusted women until I entered therapy for my own childhood issues.
She and I live about 45 miles apart. Things I consider important to me:
Honesty. She is honest something that comes with spending time together.
Ability to share openly. We do. Over time of course, too much "self disclosure too quickly can be bad.
We share thoughts, feelings, discuss spiritual principles openly and found much in common.
She has grandchildren that aren't even blood relatives. They are children of her deceased husban, thus no blood realtives. She treats her former husbands children and their children the same as she treats her own son and his children.
She sees no difference.
Good credit. Establishing and keeping good financial credit speaks volumes about a person.
She lives in a 4,500 sq. ft. home, fairly new one, has a Jaguar she doesn't drive, a nice boat, a home in Florida, owns her own business she has managed for 30 years.
Her friends have been with her for over 40 years and are loyal to her.
She is loyal to them.
Loyalty is a fine quality.
I won't bore you with more but we have been together for over 2.5 years and never even had a heated discussion much less an argument.
I'm happy with her and she is happy with me.
I treat her daughter like my own. I'm older but am blessed with a fine 15 year old son.
She is very much his mother and he is her son.
A genuine, loving, woman with fine maternal instincts.
The home in Florida the Jag, the boat, the huge new home, the bass lake in the back no one fishes but me are all just gingerbread.
Honest.
O.K. it's a "guy" thing.
We also like sushi.

This is a really great story, and I'm glad you shared it here. To answer your question, no...no therapy for my childhood issues. I'm working through them, and my dad and I are doing a lot better than we once were. It ebbs and flows. I have processed it a lot, and like you, I have trust issues due to it. I don't know if therapy would help...sitting in front of a stranger telling them my woes? Paying them to listen? Hmmm...I have heard a good therapist is hard to come by, but maybe if you find a good one, he/she can really help.

You have never had a heated discussion? That's awesome. I wish you more years of happiness.


@mainliner:

 

[Penumbra]

I'm not sure I'd personally define falling in like and falling in love to be any different.

I've only ever fallen in love with guys I like.

 

[jeager106]

Therapy. The ONLY reason I've been in therapy for so many years is that workers comp. pays for it.
P.T.S.D. don' cha' know?
"they" think that all P.T.S.D. people are derainged killers or sum such.
Ain't so.
Yes, not even a heated argument. Thing is her daughter, 40, lives with her.
She's freaking nuts. Could be a deal breaker.
I love her daughter tho and she responds to me quite well.

 

[Deidre]

Welp...Falling deeper in like...
Saw my neighbor earlier...

My signature is how I'm feeling......that 'new' feeling. ^_^
Too bad things can't always stay new. Idk.

 

[Sunstone]

Welp...Falling deeper in like...
Saw my neighbor earlier...

My signature is how I'm feeling......that 'new' feeling. ^_^
Too bad things can't always stay new. Idk.

Aww, that's sweet and wonderful! Yeah, things can't stay new forever, but it seems they can deeper and richer virtually forever. I've known couples who have been together for decades who say their love deepens every day.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'm not sure I'd personally define falling in like and falling in love to be any different.h

I've only ever fallen in love with guys I like.

I've loved people without liking them before. It isn't fun.

Every now and then, I'll say to my sweetheart "I LIKE you!" The first time, she was a bit taken aback - I had to tell her that I loved her too, but that I also really liked her.

 

[mainliner]

The heart wants what the heart wants

abit like my kittens ........ Always wanting love

don't let it lead you into a false sense of security though