Falling in love, is it for the few determined?

[PoetPhilosopher]

Reflecting on myself 10 years ago, I see myself as 150% the person today as I was then.

But back then, I got dates pretty well. I had romantic relationships with people. But back then, I would go to very great lengths in the name of an abstract concept I called "love".

I just don't do that any more.

And it may bother me at times, but I feel that so long as I'm making progress on myself, it's still okay to not have someone. That I have a direction that is becoming more clear, and something to look forward to, anyhow. As brighter days come forth for me.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

The other thing worth considering is how much the type of person you'd be interested in might have changed. Perhaps what you'd see as a deep connection now is different to what you would have seen it as back then?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

The other thing worth considering is how much the type of person you'd be interested in might have changed. Perhaps what you'd see as a deep connection now is different to what you would have seen it as back then?

You might be right.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

You might be right.

Ha!! Take that, rest of the world. I might be right after all.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Ha!! Take that, rest of the world. I might be right after all.

Hopefully you won't become like some philosophers who, upon being correct about something, sink into depression and crises afterwards, as they rethink themselves.

 

[Trailblazer]

Reflecting on myself 10 years ago, I see myself as 150% the person today as I was then.

But back then, I got dates pretty well. I had romantic relationships with people. But back then, I would go to very great lengths in the name of an abstract concept I called "love".

I just don't do that any more.

And it may bother me at times, but I feel that so long as I'm making progress on myself, it's still okay to not have someone. That I have a direction that is becoming more clear, and something to look forward to, anyhow. As brighter days come forth for me.

I gave that a Useful since it is very useful for me at this particular time in my life.

I never looked for love, it just came to me about 37 years ago. It came to me once but I don't know if it will ever come again, but if it does I don't think it will be something I did to find it, I think it will simply be my fate, and as a believer I believe that God will be responsible for that. If it happened it would also be the fate of another person, the man I meet. The chance of that happening seem slim to none, but I still have to have hope or I will get depressed.

Like you, I think the most important thing is making progress on myself but I also think it is important to help others in any way I can, thus I share on this forum and do anything else I can to help others.

I don't need a romantic relationship so I have been seriously thinking about what I really want, and I still don't know for sure. But even if I knew, that does not mean I will get what I want.

I do not need a man to make me whole. What I need is a man to help me with my house and cats, someone for companionship and emotional support. That is also what I want, but I don not know if I want more than that.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Hopefully you won't become like some philosophers who, upon being correct about something, sink into depression and crises afterwards, as they rethink themselves.

Those are the deep-thinking types trying to solve the existential crisis' of the world.
I'm the shallow as a puddle type trying to give myself an undeserved pat on the back.

I'll be fine...lol

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

I think that "falling in love" is one of those things that just happens -- like discovering how much you like the taste of caramel or licorice.

"Falling in love" is the response of the algorithm that expresses when your organism tells you to "stop here, this is gonna work!"

Okay, didn't explain that well, but human life is like all the other life on this planet -- we are motivated by stuff we don't understand, because they are so basic to our evolved biology/psychology.

It's so hard to explain -- there's so much input: the scent, the look, the communication (oral and subliminal). The times I've really been in love, I cannot tell you why I loved. The times when I wanted to be in love, but wasn't -- can't tell you why not, either. One of the most physically beautiful people in my whole life who adored me I let go without ever knowing why.

Emotions, the things you feel, are, I think, quite literally the output from the algorithms that make you what you are. Organisms (as Yuval Harrari has said) are algorithms. And I think that's right (though I've noticed other posters dissing him lately).

 

[Heyo]

Reflecting on myself 10 years ago, I see myself as 150% the person today as I was then.

But back then, I got dates pretty well. I had romantic relationships with people. But back then, I would go to very great lengths in the name of an abstract concept I called "love".

I just don't do that any more.

And it may bother me at times, but I feel that so long as I'm making progress on myself, it's still okay to not have someone. That I have a direction that is becoming more clear, and something to look forward to, anyhow. As brighter days come forth for me.

Our bodies change as we age. Not only do we produce less hormones but we are also less perceptible to them. "Love" is the neurochemical reaction to hormones. It dulls over time.

 

[Trailblazer]

I think that "falling in love" is one of those things that just happens -- like discovering how much you like the taste of caramel or licorice.

"Falling in love" is the response of the algorithm that expresses when your organism tells you to "stop here, this is gonna work!"

Okay, didn't explain that well, but human life is like all the other life on this planet -- we are motivated by stuff we don't understand, because they are so basic to our evolved biology/psychology.

It's so hard to explain -- there's so much input:

I understand, since it has happened to me..... it just happens and then you know.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Our bodies change as we age. Not only do we produce less hormones but we are also less perceptible to them. "Love" is the neurochemical reaction to hormones. It dulls over time.

Do you think that is more restricted to romantic love?
I'm an old dad, got a 2 year old and...well...that's a whole different sort of love (obviously) but it seems pretty sharp still.

 

[Heyo]

Do you think that is more restricted to romantic love?

Yes.