Finding your way after a major loss

[Deidre]

I woke up today realizing that ...my grandmother's illness last year, caused a great void in my life. It was then, that I began questioning atheism. Atheism seemed like the natural conclusion I came to, after a few years prior, leaving Christianity...but, it didn't comfort me during the tough times with my grandmother's illness. Long story short, I looked into Buddhism, and didn't find any answers, and then Islam more recently, and no answers. Maybe the answers come from inside of me...and grieving the loss of my grandmother (she died on New Year's Eve) will just take time. My grandmother used to say when I'd be faced with problems or tough decisions...''when in doubt, do nothing.''

If I'm honest, I've been trying to replace my grandmother with something else...a religion. I don't know. But, I'm not pursuing Islam any longer. There is too much in the Qur'an that I can't reconcile with my own world view...and if I distort the religion to mean what I wish it did, is that still Islam?

So, I'm a believer in a god...but that's as far as I'm with it all, now.

Thanks for letting me share this, and for anyone struggling with loss of any type...you can't ever replace the person with a religion. Or even with a belief in God. You just have to search inside for your own answers...and maybe you'll find them. I wish everyone good luck here on their own faith journeys, as well.

 

[Aštra’el]

"There is no emotion, there is peace."​

 

[Deidre]

"There is no emotion, there is peace."​

I like that.

I remember when I was a devout Christian, life was very simple. I followed a faith and didn't ask questions. When I began asking questions, everything changed. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the days as a Christian, when I never questioned.

 

[Sees]

I like that.

I remember when I was a devout Christian, life was very simple. I followed a faith and didn't ask questions. When I began asking questions, everything changed. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the days as a Christian, when I never questioned.

 

[Deidre]

Don't make me cry! lol
Yes...you're right. I think you were always right.

 

[nazz]

I like that.

I remember when I was a devout Christian, life was very simple. I followed a faith and didn't ask questions. When I began asking questions, everything changed. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the days as a Christian, when I never questioned.

I have often had that thought as well but really there was never a time I did not question. I just did not know enough to question more. Knowledge is a mixed blessing.

 

[nazz]

I woke up today realizing that ...my grandmother's illness last year, caused a great void in my life. It was then, that I began questioning atheism. Atheism seemed like the natural conclusion I came to, after a few years prior, leaving Christianity...but, it didn't comfort me during the tough times with my grandmother's illness. Long story short, I looked into Buddhism, and didn't find any answers, and then Islam more recently, and no answers. Maybe the answers come from inside of me...and grieving the loss of my grandmother (she died on New Year's Eve) will just take time. My grandmother used to say when I'd be faced with problems or tough decisions...''when in doubt, do nothing.''

If I'm honest, I've been trying to replace my grandmother with something else...a religion. I don't know. But, I'm not pursuing Islam any longer. There is too much in the Qur'an that I can't reconcile with my own world view...and if I distort the religion to mean what I wish it did, is that still Islam?

So, I'm a believer in a god...but that's as far as I'm with it all, now.

Thanks for letting me share this, and for anyone struggling with loss of any type...you can't ever replace the person with a religion. Or even with a belief in God. You just have to search inside for your own answers...and maybe you'll find them. I wish everyone good luck here on their own faith journeys, as well.

The god of your own experience is better than the god of any religion

 

[Deidre]

I have often had that thought as well but really there was never a time I did not question. I just did not know enough to question more. Knowledge is a mixed blessing.

Yes it is. It's touted as 'knowledge is power...' But, with power, comes consequences.

 

[nazz]

I always forget which is which

 

[Sees]

Don't make me cry! lol
Yes...you're right. I think you were always right.

The times I get a strong feeling you are speaking from your heart/soul, are the times I really have a hard-time finding even a tiny something to disagree with you on lol

I'd like to see you on a path, no matter how much a self-evolving and self-creating one, where that heart/soul really gets to do its thing.

The more knowledge we get, the better, as long we don't become slaves to our conceptions or have total fear of ignorance. We are never the worse for wear when spending time studying stuff. It was a good use of time.

You hone your understanding of your own religion, even if it has no name or is hiding, by studying other ones. Same with most things, aspects, and areas of life, I think.

 

[Deidre]

The times I get a strong feeling you are speaking from your heart/soul, are the times I really have a hard-time finding even a tiny something to disagree with you on lol

I'd like to see you on a path, no matter how much a self-evolving and self-creating one, where that heart/soul really gets to do its thing.

The more knowledge we get, the better, as long we don't become slaves to our conceptions or have total fear of ignorance. We are never the worse for wear when spending time studying stuff. It was a good use of time.

You hone your understanding of your own religion, even if it has no name or is hiding, by studying other ones. Same with most things, aspects, and areas of life, I think.

If you were here, I'd give you the biggest hug ever.

I woke up this morning, laying in bed...started crying over my grandmother...and realized that, the difficulty with this loss, is that she handled so much for me in my life. She helped me make decisions, all of my life. Christianity too gave me an identity, and when I followed the path to atheism...it was very liberating, and freeing...and then, she died ...and nothing made much sense. Last year when she grew ill, I started looking into Buddhism...then, this year Islam...and I think what I need to look into ...is me.

 

[Christ's Lamb]

I woke up today realizing that ...my grandmother's illness last year, caused a great void in my life. It was then, that I began questioning atheism. Atheism seemed like the natural conclusion I came to, after a few years prior, leaving Christianity...but, it didn't comfort me during the tough times with my grandmother's illness. Long story short, I looked into Buddhism, and didn't find any answers, and then Islam more recently, and no answers. Maybe the answers come from inside of me...and grieving the loss of my grandmother (she died on New Year's Eve) will just take time. My grandmother used to say when I'd be faced with problems or tough decisions...''when in doubt, do nothing.''

If I'm honest, I've been trying to replace my grandmother with something else...a religion. I don't know. But, I'm not pursuing Islam any longer. There is too much in the Qur'an that I can't reconcile with my own world view...and if I distort the religion to mean what I wish it did, is that still Islam?

So, I'm a believer in a god...but that's as far as I'm with it all, now.

Thanks for letting me share this, and for anyone struggling with loss of any type...you can't ever replace the person with a religion. Or even with a belief in God. You just have to search inside for your own answers...and maybe you'll find them. I wish everyone good luck here on their own faith journeys, as well.

If you ever want to look back into Christianity, I would recommend reading the Church Fathers. The Church Fathers are early Christian apologists, some of whom actually knew the Apostles or knew of people who knew them. Reading them is very life changing, a lot of Christian denominations today are void of anything close to the teachings of the Church Fathers, especially Protestant churches, which most Amercians today in America are.

It is a very deeper, mystical type of Christianity that reaches to the very core of ones spiritual needs. I would recommend starting with the first writings of the Church Fathers, such as the Epistle of Barnabas, the Didache, 1 and 2 Clement, the Shepherd of Hermas, etc. then move on from there.

Good luck on your journey.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I woke up today realizing that ...my grandmother's illness last year, caused a great void in my life. It was then, that I began questioning atheism. Atheism seemed like the natural conclusion I came to, after a few years prior, leaving Christianity...but, it didn't comfort me during the tough times with my grandmother's illness. Long story short, I looked into Buddhism, and didn't find any answers, and then Islam more recently, and no answers. Maybe the answers come from inside of me...and grieving the loss of my grandmother (she died on New Year's Eve) will just take time. My grandmother used to say when I'd be faced with problems or tough decisions...''when in doubt, do nothing.''

If I'm honest, I've been trying to replace my grandmother with something else...a religion. I don't know. But, I'm not pursuing Islam any longer. There is too much in the Qur'an that I can't reconcile with my own world view...and if I distort the religion to mean what I wish it did, is that still Islam?

So, I'm a believer in a god...but that's as far as I'm with it all, now.

Thanks for letting me share this, and for anyone struggling with loss of any type...you can't ever replace the person with a religion. Or even with a belief in God. You just have to search inside for your own answers...and maybe you'll find them. I wish everyone good luck here on their own faith journeys, as well.

May I suggest that instead of seeking a religion to guide you, why not seek God to guide you?

You say you already believe in God. I believe it's possible to build a relationship with him instead of a relationship with a group of humans that are told what to believe. No need to look for God, and no need to wait for him to find you. God is always by your side, every step of the way.


Very sorry to hear about your grandmother, it is hard to lose family. I recommend not letting the tragedy (or any tragedy really) beat you up. Maybe she's still close, closer than what it seems. She lives on in your memories, and she lives on in the paths you take in life that she has influenced during her time spent on earth.

 

[Deidre]

If you ever want to look back into Christianity, I would recommend reading the Church Fathers. The Church Fathers are early Christian apologists, some of whom actually knew the Apostles or knew of people who knew them. Reading them is very life changing, a lot of Christian denominations today are void of anything close to the teachings of the Church Fathers, especially Protestant churches, which most Amercians today in America are.

It is a very deeper, mystical type of Christianity that reaches to the very core of ones spiritual needs. I would recommend starting with the first writings of the Church Fathers, such as the Epistle of Barnabas, the Didache, 1 and 2 Clement, the Shepherd of Hermas, etc. then move on from there.

Good luck on your journey.

You, are a Catholic mystic? How interesting. I don't believe I'm familiar with this, and I was a Catholic since childhood, up to about 4 years ago. I will look into this, thank you. There is a lot of beauty in the RCC...a lot of beauty in Islam...Buddhism...Hinduism...harness it all, and you have the perfect religion.

Thank you for this, I'll let you know what I find out.

May I suggest that instead of seeking a religion to guide you, why not seek God to guide you?

You say you already believe in God. I believe it's possible to build a relationship with him instead of a relationship with a group of humans that are told what to believe. No need to look for God, and no need to wait for him to find you. God is always by your side, every step of the way.


Very sorry to hear about your grandmother, it is hard to lose family. I recommend not letting the tragedy (or any tragedy really) beat you up. Maybe she's still close, closer than what it seems. She lives on in your memories, and she lives on in the paths you take in life that she has influenced during her time spent on earth.

Thank you for this...and for suggesting to just reach out to God, and ask for his guidance. I thought he was leading me to Islam, but what I think it is about Islam that I find intriguing, is the prayer life/connection. It's very compelling. The overall doctrine is not something I can completely accept, and that is why I wouldn't ever be able to convert to Islam. Islam Sufism is also quite intriguing, but that is not separate and away from the basic tenets of Islam.

 

[Gambit]

Maybe the answers come from inside of me...and grieving the loss of my grandmother (she died on New Year's Eve) will just take time. My grandmother used to say when I'd be faced with problems or tough decisions...''when in doubt, do nothing.''.

That sounds like good advice. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Deidre]

Someone posted this for me, on another forum...I thought it was worth sharing here.

 

[Christ's Lamb]

You, are a Catholic mystic? How interesting. I don't believe I'm familiar with this, and I was a Catholic since childhood, up to about 4 years ago. I will look into this, thank you. There is a lot of beauty in the RCC...a lot of beauty in Islam...Buddhism...Hinduism...harness it all, and you have the perfect religion.

Yes, I would consider myself a Catholic Mystic. There is a lot of Mystical things in Catholicism, but it just isn't talked about at Church anymore. I grew up Catholic, left and searched different relgious for about 5 years then realized that if Christ founded a church on Earth, it is the Catholic Church through reading the Church Fathers. There is just so much confusion today within Christianity, no one knows what they believe and why. That's why I think many people leave the Catholic Church, because they think that's it's an old way of thinking, but that's only on the outside, on the inside it's much more fascinating.

Most people don't know what the church teaches, and if you don't know it, you can't defend it. To tell you the truth, CCD didn't teach me a thing. Almost everything I now know about Catholicism is because I learned it myself.

I'll give you a tip on your search. When searching for truth, put all of your personal beliefs, grudges, greediness, Etc. aside, then the Truth will find you.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

In addition to what Christ's Lamb said, you can also read on the lives of the Saints. Many many saints relate what you are going through now. Reading about their stories, how they follow God, and how to apply their examples in your life as in the "Challenge" section of each entry, you know you not alone.
--
Here is an entry:
--
Rafqa Pietra Choboq Ar-Reyes de Himlaya

Lebanon-horn Rafqa had been a nun for more than thirty years when in October 1885, she asked Jesus to let her feel some of His suffering from the passion. She immediately suffered excruciating pains in her head and eyes. Rafqa had no real relief after that. She eventually lost her sight and became paralyzed. Still, she praised God and thanked Him for the gift of suffering. At Rafqa's canonization in 2,001, Pope John Paul 11 prayed that she watched in particular over the people of the Middle East and that she intercede wit God "to open hearts to the patient quest for new ways to peace and so hasten the advent of reconciliation and harmony...

Can you imagine thinking God for a gift of pain, much less asking Him for suffering in beam with? What a place of trust and faith, to be grateful and full of praise no matter what challenge we experience God is there in both good times and bad, sorrow and joy.

Inspiration

"I know that the sickness I have is for the good of my soul and His glory...the sickness accepted with patience and thanksgiving purifies the soul as the fire purifies gold." (St. Rafqa Pietra Choboq At-Rayes de Hamlaya)

Challenge

Make a list of your aches and pains and complaints with God, Then burn them and resolve to say a prayer of thanks when you next think of them today.
Sisterhood of Saints: Daily Guidance and Inspiration - Kindle edition by Melanie Rigney. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

You, are a Catholic mystic? How interesting. I don't believe I'm familiar with this, and I was a Catholic since childhood, up to about 4 years ago. I will look into this, thank you. There is a lot of beauty in the RCC...a lot of beauty in Islam...Buddhism...Hinduism...harness it all, and you have the perfect religion.

Thank you for this, I'll let you know what I find out.


Thank you for this...and for suggesting to just reach out to God, and ask for his guidance. I thought he was leading me to Islam, but what I think it is about Islam that I find intriguing, is the prayer life/connection. It's very compelling. The overall doctrine is not something I can completely accept, and that is why I wouldn't ever be able to convert to Islam. Islam Sufism is also quite intriguing, but that is not separate and away from the basic tenets of Islam.

A lot of Catholic Saints have gone through many struggles while they were alive on earth. Just like the struggles we go through today, and with our family and friends, we can always learn from them no matter how we identify ourselves spiritually. I went to a courso weekend retreat (Catholic devotional retreat). We talked about God's love, the sacraments, and so on. After we told everyone how God affected us during the weekend, one of my friends gave me the book I posted to you above. If you do decide to buy it, maybe on kindle or nook, its cheaper or in the flesh, each page is designated for each day (devotional). You can apply each "challenge" to your life--and, I believe their examples can help anyone even those who do not believe in God at all.

Take care.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Most people don't know what the church teaches, and if you don't know it, you can't defend it. To tell you the truth, CCD didn't teach me a thing. Almost everything I now know about Catholicism is because I learned it myself.

I second that. The only way I can defend the Church is by my former participation in it. That's the only way one can really "get" the Church really, is to experience it.

 

[Deidre]

Yes, I would consider myself a Catholic Mystic. There is a lot of Mystical things in Catholicism, but it just isn't talked about at Church anymore. I grew up Catholic, left and searched different relgious for about 5 years then realized that if Christ founded a church on Earth, it is the Catholic Church through reading the Church Fathers. There is just so much confusion today within Christianity, no one knows what they believe and why. That's why I think many people leave the Catholic Church, because they think that's it's an old way of thinking, but that's only on the outside, on the inside it's much more fascinating.

Most people don't know what the church teaches, and if you don't know it, you can't defend it. To tell you the truth, CCD didn't teach me a thing. Almost everything I now know about Catholicism is because I learned it myself.

I'll give you a tip on your search. When searching for truth, put all of your personal beliefs, grudges, greediness, Etc. aside, then the Truth will find you.

Let me ask this...suppose you were deaf and blind...would you know God? My point being...why do we suppose that the truth behind God is hidden in the minds and hearts of dead men from centuries before us, and only if we read this or that holy text...will we be honored to find Him? I ask that with sincerity, not rhetorically...in hopes of an answer, from your own point of view. I'm not saying ideas of a god and what he might want CAN'T at all come from a variety of religious texts, but...the problem with the world today is that people think they need to be taught who God is (and religion can be constricting in that way)...as if he was a lesson to be learned, a test to be passed. And everyone who thinks they've passed His test, can't wait to tell others all that they've learned, so they too can pass the test. But, God isn't a test. And no generation of men is any wiser than the prior one or the one to follow, as to who God honestly is...

God isn't a mystery to be solved. He is a mystery to be loved. This is my opinion, only.

In addition to what Christ's Lamb said, you can also read on the lives of the Saints. Many many saints relate what you are going through now. Reading about their stories, how they follow God, and how to apply their examples in your life as in the "Challenge" section of each entry, you know you not alone.
--
Here is an entry:
--
Rafqa Pietra Choboq Ar-Reyes de Himlaya

Lebanon-horn Rafqa had been a nun for more than thirty years when in October 1885, she asked Jesus to let her feel some of His suffering from the passion. She immediately suffered excruciating pains in her head and eyes. Rafqa had no real relief after that. She eventually lost her sight and became paralyzed. Still, she praised God and thanked Him for the gift of suffering. At Rafqa's canonization in 2,001, Pope John Paul 11 prayed that she watched in particular over the people of the Middle East and that she intercede wit God "to open hearts to the patient quest for new ways to peace and so hasten the advent of reconciliation and harmony...

Can you imagine thinking God for a gift of pain, much less asking Him for suffering in beam with? What a place of trust and faith, to be grateful and full of praise no matter what challenge we experience God is there in both good times and bad, sorrow and joy.

Inspiration

"I know that the sickness I have is for the good of my soul and His glory...the sickness accepted with patience and thanksgiving purifies the soul as the fire purifies gold." (St. Rafqa Pietra Choboq At-Rayes de Hamlaya)

Challenge

Make a list of your aches and pains and complaints with God, Then burn them and resolve to say a prayer of thanks when you next think of them today.
Sisterhood of Saints: Daily Guidance and Inspiration - Kindle edition by Melanie Rigney. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

A lot of Catholic Saints have gone through many struggles while they were alive on earth. Just like the struggles we go through today, and with our family and friends, we can always learn from them no matter how we identify ourselves spiritually. I went to a courso weekend retreat (Catholic devotional retreat). We talked about God's love, the sacraments, and so on. After we told everyone how God affected us during the weekend, one of my friends gave me the book I posted to you above. If you do decide to buy it, maybe on kindle or nook, its cheaper or in the flesh, each page is designated for each day (devotional). You can apply each "challenge" to your life--and, I believe their examples can help anyone even those who do not believe in God at all.

Take care.

I like the stories of the saints, but I don't believe in 'sainthood.' As if it were a competition of sorts as to who wins God's favor the most. I grew up in the Catholic faith, and there is much beauty and robust culture within it. But, there is too much of man in the Church, and not enough of God. That could be true of organized religion, in general these days.