Flirting vs. Sexual Harassment

[ChristineM]

You see this woman? :

You see this gorgeous voluptuous goddess?
Well, that goddess is married much to my wonder and chagrin is married to this guy:

I don't care how you do the math but those two do not belong in the same room together yet married. She is way too hot for that geek! It is like he not only got hit by the ugly but he is the actual son of the ugly stick. Yet, they are in love and married. Lucky bastherd.
So, that goes to show you, even physically unattractive guy and get very pretty women. Why? Because good looks aren't the only thing that make people attractive. Creepiness is something about looks, it is about character, so stop being creepy, cultivate yourself if your not good-looking, hell cultivate yourself if you are good-looking for that matter and be attractive on the inside and people will like you.

Woman here, he is quite attractive. Symmetrical face, looks confident.

 

[oldbadger]

You see this woman? :

You see this gorgeous voluptuous goddess?
Well, that goddess is married much to my wonder and chagrin is married to this guy:

I don't care how you do the math but those two do not belong in the same room together yet married. She is way too hot for that geek! It is like he not only got hit by the ugly but he is the actual son of the ugly stick. Yet, they are in love and married. Lucky bastherd.
So, that goes to show you, even physically unattractive guy and get very pretty women. Why? Because good looks aren't the only thing that make people attractive. Creepiness is something about looks, it is about character, so stop being creepy, cultivate yourself if your not good-looking, hell cultivate yourself if you are good-looking for that matter and be attractive on the inside and people will like you.

I showed that pic to my wife, and I said,'Apart from the dress and the pose, that was you in the 90's.'
She chuckled. 'Cos it was!
She doesn't look like that now, she looks better, and her hair changed colour from Rose-Gold to Steel-Blonde about ten years ago.

Me? That bloke in your picture looks switched on and a real puller compared to me.

You see? You never know.

 

[ChristineM]

A guy i know always dates ugly girls, he reckons they are more grateful.

 

[Martin]

Harrassment sounds to me like not taking "no" for an answer.

 

[oldbadger]

Now, you are just pointing out the (what
OUGHT to be!) obvious.

I like your skin tone. But your eyes seem a little bit too far apart.

How'd I do?

 

[The Reverend Bob]

Woman here, he is quite attractive. Symmetrical face, looks confident.

It's the Cheerleader Effect, he seems attractive due her residual attractiveness.

 

[ChristineM]

It's the Cheerleader Effect, he seems attractive due her residual attractiveness.

Her, who her? I didn't see a her... ;-)

 

[oldbadger]

A guy i know always dates ugly girls, he reckons they are more grateful.

A bloke I worked with in the late 90's was mad crazy about very large plain women. Bonkers about 'em.

He got a lot of attention from women but never responded, only to very big ladies a bit older than himself.

There is somebody for everybody...........

 

[The Reverend Bob]

There is somebody for everybody...........

Even the arseholes?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Woman here, he is quite attractive. Symmetrical face, looks confident.

He keeps himself fit as well. Some men don't.

 

[Koldo]

An even better approach: just don't try to pick up people at work. Save the behaviour for the bar or club on the weekend.

As I see it, it depends on what your intentions are. If you just want to get laid, then it is definitely a terrible idea to make advances. However, if what you seek is a long-term relationship there is really no problem as long you can let it go if you get rejected.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

It seems that nowadays the lines between flirting and sexual harassment are becoming increasingly blurred. Now, before I say anything more, I believe there is a very important distinction to make between sexual harassment and sexual assault. Sexual assault involves physical contact and is absolutely wrong. A man should never touch a woman without her consent.

However, it seems that today, even complimenting a woman's appearance (especially if she is a stranger or distant acquaintance of the man and not a friend) could lead to being seen as creepy and in some environments (office, for instance) could lead to accusations of sexual harassment.

Here is my controversial, yet very simple assessment of the situation. If a guy approaches a woman and she thinks he's handsome, it's perfectly acceptable flirting. If a guy approaches a woman (and says the same things as guy #1) and she thinks he's ugly, then he's a creep and in some cases even a sexual "harasser." Creepy and confident have the same definition, except that creepy guys are ugly and confident guys are handsome. Thus, unattractive men that approach women in the office will risk losing their jobs, but attractive men will not (ever notice that nearly all the male celebrities fired for sexual harassment are old and unattractive, and none of them look like Brad Pitt?). But, how can a male know if a female finds him attractive unless he approaches her? Perhaps women should start approaching men instead. This would resolve the problems.

Thoughts? Do you have any better way of distinguishing between flirting and harassment? Let's see it.

This sounds like MRA or incel crap.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I don't understand..
So a male colleague cannot hit on a female colleague?
Or ask her out?

It's inappropriate workplace behavior. You're there to work, not pick people up.

 

[Audie]

I like your skin tone. But your eyes seem a little bit too far apart.

How'd I do?

Pretty good! You didnt say a word about
me being vertically challenged. Wide
set eyes is a asian thing,

 

[Audie]

A bloke I worked with in the late 90's was mad crazy about very large plain women. Bonkers about 'em.

He got a lot of attention from women but never responded, only to very big ladies a bit older than himself.

There is somebody for everybody...........

Even blighters who is looking to shag their momma.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Follow the story again. But enough of mob mentality.

Regardless of the current case, Spacey is known as a creeper who likes them young. This has been known for years. The gossip queens on Data Lounge talked about what he gets up to years ago. Also, the person refusing to testify does not mean Spacey is innocent.

 

[Jainarayan]

Regardless of the current case, Spacey is known as a creeper who likes them young. This has been known for years. The gossip queens on Data Lounge talked about what he gets up to years ago. Also, the person refusing to testify does not mean Spacey is innocent.

I don't dispute any of that, just that the conversation started to go off track.

 

[metis]

Since you brought up "Italian woman"...can you be more specific?

Southern Italians tend to be more emotional and touchy-feely than northern Italians, and is also true in France whereas those that live in the Mediterranean region tend to think that northern French, especially Parisians, are too pretentious and snobbish.

My wife is from a small rural town in Sicily, btw.

Obviously, not all fit into the overall pattern I've stated above, so I'm not using it as a stereotype.

 

[Curious George]

It seems that nowadays the lines between flirting and sexual harassment are becoming increasingly blurred. Now, before I say anything more, I believe there is a very important distinction to make between sexual harassment and sexual assault. Sexual assault involves physical contact and is absolutely wrong. A man should never touch a woman without her consent.

However, it seems that today, even complimenting a woman's appearance (especially if she is a stranger or distant acquaintance of the man and not a friend) could lead to being seen as creepy and in some environments (office, for instance) could lead to accusations of sexual harassment.

Here is my controversial, yet very simple assessment of the situation. If a guy approaches a woman and she thinks he's handsome, it's perfectly acceptable flirting. If a guy approaches a woman (and says the same things as guy #1) and she thinks he's ugly, then he's a creep and in some cases even a sexual "harasser." Creepy and confident have the same definition, except that creepy guys are ugly and confident guys are handsome. Thus, unattractive men that approach women in the office will risk losing their jobs, but attractive men will not (ever notice that nearly all the male celebrities fired for sexual harassment are old and unattractive, and none of them look like Brad Pitt?). But, how can a male know if a female finds him attractive unless he approaches her? Perhaps women should start approaching men instead. This would resolve the problems.

Thoughts? Do you have any better way of distinguishing between flirting and harassment? Let's see it.

Sexual harrassment happens. There are many double standards when discussing sexual harrassment. Attractiveness is one. This is because most people will be more receptive to advances by others when those people are attracted to the others.

I agree that there is also a double standard with gender. Women in many cases do not receive the same consequences for sexual harrassment. This is in part because men are less likely to report, and also because men have historically been guilty of more egregious violations. However, most HR personnel will respond appropriately regardless of the sex involved because they are looking at company liability which is present regardless of the genders involved.

Others in the workplace are less likely to come forward when they see sexual harrassment of men because we are culturally indoctrinated to protect women while believing men should be able to protect themselves.

While these double standards do exist, do not fool yourself into thinking that women "get away" with sexual harrassment anymore or less than men. There is simply no way to extrapolate this. The fact of the matter is that much of all sexual harrassment goes unreported.

In all likelihood, your workplace doesn't want you flirting at all as it is too often the case that flirting opens up the company to liability when one of the two parties has issues distinguishing boundaries and socially appropriate behavior. You are there to work, not flirt. That goes for the brad pitts and the steve buscemis of the world.

Yes it is true that you are more likely to be reported if you are ugly. It is also true that you are more likely to be reported if you are male. None of that changes that sexual harrassment is an important issue that we should address. In otherwords, that the creepy guy gets reported more than the confident guy does not change whether or not the reported behavior is sexual harrassment.

 

[Estro Felino]

Southern Italians tend to be more emotional and touchy-feely than northern Italians, and is also true in France whereas those that live in the Mediterranean region tend to think that northern French, especially Parisians, are too pretentious and snobbish.

My wife is from a small rural town in Sicily, btw.

Obviously, not all fit into the overall pattern I've stated above, so I'm not using it as a stereotype.

Not to mention there is a huge generation gap.