Forgivness

[Spirit of Light]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?
If not, why?

 

[Vinayaka]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?
If not, why?

I think if a person desires not to be burdened by heavy dark emotion, they need to forgive in order to move on. There are many strategies for it, (sadanas) including a deeper understanding of why the person did what they did.

Of course some folks feel quite content holding lifetime grudges.

 

[BSM1]

Forgiving does not necessarily mean you have to forget. You may reach under a log and have a snake bite you. You can forgive the snake but that doesn't mean you have to reach under the log again.

 

[Spirit of Light]

That is true, it means you learn from your mistakes

 

[Jumi]

Forgiveness is great, just don't be a martyr.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Forgiveness is great, just don't be a martyr.

To me forgivness is a personal choice, not sure i understand the martyr thing.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?
If not, why?

Yes. But it takes years depending on the persons healing time. My mother had and probably still has a grudge on her brother for over twenty years. He didn't tell her that their mother was dying of AIDs. She was upset because one, he didn't say, and two, it put us at risk of being affected ourselves.

She did finally talked to him about ten years ago. Forgiveness isn't overnight. People forgive different ways. Sometimes forgiveness is really addressing oneself. A lot of times we assume if we forgive someone else they should appreciate it (or so I read). Ego thing.

A nice quote I like is: Smile at your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. If you can forgive yourself, then if you feel it's appropriate and safe, you can externally forgive others as well. You know you forgave your self (resentment) when you can smile at your "enemies."

If someone can't forgive, that's not a bad thing. It just means they are working out stuff themselves before they can address their stuff with others.

 

[Thief]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?
If not, why?

for me it's two sides of the same coin

I forgive that I might be forgiven....as I stand before God and heaven

but in practice I realize a line drawn
I cannot forgive everything
doing so would make the forgiving reckless and unsure

 

[Thief]

Forgiving does not necessarily mean you have to forget. You may reach under a log and have a snake bite you. You can forgive the snake but that doesn't mean you have to reach under the log again.

my sainted grandmother said something of the same

she was washing dishes as I came thru the kitchen
and for no cause that I could see.....she dealt me this pearl....

you can always forgive
but you never forget

 

[BSM1]

To err is human, to forgive is divine. To forget means you're bucking for sainthood...just sayin'.

 

[Trailblazer]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?
If not, why?

I can forgive anyone who did me wrong as long as they do not continue doing what they did... However, with some people it becomes an injustice to forgive them because that gives them an excuse to keep doing me wrong.

It is myself that I cannot forgive because I blame myself for most things; I do not blame other people unless it is blatantly obvious they did me wrong, as in the case of a tenant I have. I eventually forgive myself for most things, after I have resolved the issue and moved on, but it can be difficult before that. I am my own worst critic so it is like water off a duck's back if people criticize me.

 

[BSM1]

my sainted grandmother said something of the same

she was washing dishes as I came thru the kitchen
and for no cause that I could see.....she dealt me this pearl....

you can always forgive
but you never forget

Sounds like your grandmother and my grandmother went to the same grandmothering school. My grandmother also told me that you might just as well laugh as to cry.

 

[Quintessence]

It is, by and large, an unecessary concept when you don't hold things to unreasonable expectations. If you understand that something will behave in keeping with its nature - rather than how you might like it to be - there's nothing to forgive. Wolves do wolf things, storms to storm things, the sun does sun things, humans do human things. And where the wolves, storms, sun, or humans conflict with you because of their nature, that warrants no forgiveness. What it warrants is a recognition that the two of you should avoid crossing paths in the future. Or, you simply deal with the inevitable conflict and consequences because there are parts of that relationship that are worth your time. The storm might hail on you next time as you dance in the rain because that is its nature. But your enjoyment of the storm and dancing in the rain when it is not hail may mean you still go outside and revel in it.

 

[WalterTrull]

Forgiveness is a useful tool. We're trying to get to the buffet and blame, grudge, and hate are some of the major detours.

 

[Thief]

have we considered.....forgiving yourself

which comes first?.....

a line drawn against another.....could be held to you

 

[Sanzbir]

What is your view of forgivness?

Can you forgive anyone who do you wrong?

Yes, why would I want to give someone who has wronged me control over me and my mind??

 

[Spirit of Light]

have we considered.....forgiving yourself

which comes first?.....

a line drawn against another.....could be held to you

Depend on the situation i think.
Forgiving you self for what?

Is it not more like a accepting you did not do or maybe do it when it is about self, and forgiving others for what they do to you? Nor sure of this one

 

[Thief]

Depend on the situation i think.
Forgiving you self for what?

Is it not more like a accepting you did not do or maybe do it when it is about self, and forgiving others for what they do to you? Nor sure of this one

I take it from a parable of Carpenter fame

one fellow forgives a debtor....but that man turns about and fails to forgive another
harsh words are then dealt

seems that receiving a grace.....you are then obligated to do the same unto others

 

[Spirit of Light]

I take it from a parable of Carpenter fame

one fellow forgives a debtor....but that man turns about and fails to forgive another
harsh words are then dealt

seems that receiving a grace.....you are then obligated to do the same unto others

Letting go of the anger toward others or one self is not the most easy attachment to letting go but it is possible

 

[Thief]

but let's say you are first in line to offer forgiveness
the harm dealt.....and you desire no harm in return

does your leniency embolden the wicked?

do you remain the target?