God is a Cat: The Divine Indifference Explained by the Ultimate Cosmic Game of Cat and Mouse

[Absolutely Frank]

While observing my beloved life-companion Malcolm aka my cat while stoned. I may have stumbled upon the ultimate solution to the problem of evil.

What if God is actually a cat? Just think about it for a while. It will all make some sort of sense. This feline deity is indifferent to suffering and evil because He’s too busy chasing Satan, the ultimate cosmic mouse, across the universe. Cats are known for their aloofness. Wars, diseases, disasters—why would a loving God allow these? Simple: if God is a cat, He just doesn’t care. A cat-God’s agenda wouldn’t include micromanaging human affairs. Our suffering is just background noise to the thrill of the hunt. He has a mouse to catch, people! Satan is God’s favorite toy. The universe is a giant playroom where God, the cat, endlessly pursues Satan, the mouse. This would explain the randomness and chaos of existence. Our suffering and evil are mere collateral damage as they knock over all the cosmic furniture. If God is a cat, traditional prayers and rituals seem pointless. Have you ever tried getting a cat to do something it wasn’t interested in? They only come to you when they want to be petted or to get some treats. The only thing they are mildly interested in is compliments and only then they might give a reluctant "meow". I don't know about youbut that sounds like God to me! We are pet toys ladies and gentlemen just mere pet toys that the Divine Feline lost interest in and we are living in a Tom and Jerry universe. I am going out for some beer.

Proof of Ceiling Cat - LOLCat Bible Translation Project

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

What if God is actually a cat?

Nice! In fact, it's one of the better explanations I've read.

 

[Quintessence]

Eh, more complicated than needed. Simply accepting the gods don't revolve around humans or human interests is a simpler and more obvious explanation. It's also easy to observe this fact unless you're one of those remarkably self-absorbed human beings such that you believe for example that Sun shines only for you, personally.

 

[Koldo]

While observing my beloved life-companion Malcolm aka my cat while stoned. I may have stumbled upon the ultimate solution to the problem of evil.

What if God is actually a cat? Just think about it for a while. It will all make some sort of sense. This feline deity is indifferent to suffering and evil because He’s too busy chasing Satan, the ultimate cosmic mouse, across the universe. Cats are known for their aloofness. Wars, diseases, disasters—why would a loving God allow these? Simple: if God is a cat, He just doesn’t care. A cat-God’s agenda wouldn’t include micromanaging human affairs. Our suffering is just background noise to the thrill of the hunt. He has a mouse to catch, people! Satan is God’s favorite toy. The universe is a giant playroom where God, the cat, endlessly pursues Satan, the mouse. This would explain the randomness and chaos of existence. Our suffering and evil are mere collateral damage as they knock over all the cosmic furniture. If God is a cat, traditional prayers and rituals seem pointless. Have you ever tried getting a cat to do something it wasn’t interested in? They only come to you when they want to be petted or to get some treats. The only thing they are mildly interested in is compliments and only then they might give a reluctant "meow". I don't know about youbut that sounds like God to me! We are pet toys ladies and gentlemen just mere pet toys that the Divine Feline lost interest in and we are living in a Tom and Jerry universe. I am going out for some beer.

Proof of Ceiling Cat - LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Then God is not omnibenevolent and there is no problem of evil.