Try The Juggling Book, by Charles Lewis. Start out learning how to juggle with oranges and whatever you do, don't use water bottles!! You might hit yourself with them.
Okay, this is coming from a guy who knows how to juggle, but i'm not sure if i can explain it well. My favorite book for learning is, "The great Juggling kit" by Stuart Ashman. It comes with beginner balls and everything.
The main trick is teaching yourself to coordinate your hands.
When I was a bit younger, I learned how to juggle when I was drunk. One of my friends taught me. And for the longest time after that, I couldn't, for the life of me, juggle when I was sober, but get a few beers in me, and I was able to. It was extremely odd.
Another hint from someone who can juggle. You're going to have to accept that you will fail for a very long time before getting anywhere close to success. Don't get discouraged, and good luck! And don't use citrus fruits if you have a cut on your hand, they burn, man!
The only advice I can offer, avoid flaming axes and other sharp objects until your highly skilled and have been practicing for a long time.
I would like to see someone take thier head off and replace it with a ball and juggle thier own head like on the sci-fi channel little "if" things.