Like most people word wide, I have now and then received unsolicited junk mail from the International Homosexual Conspiracy (IHC), which, I am reliably told, is funded by the UN. I've always tossed out their mailings before now. But last Saturday, I opened one.
Perhaps you can imagine how astonished I was to discover they are offering -- for a limited time only -- an absolutely beautiful set of high-quality steak knives to the first 100,000 people who respond by changing their sexual orientation to homosexualism!
I want those steak knives. I really, really want them.
But the first problem is, I'm not sexually attracted to other men. And the second problem is that, as I understand it, homosexuals are required by the very nature of their perversion to eventually slide into pedophilia and bestiality, and I don't really want to do that.
So, my question is: Is there a loophole here? Specifically, would it be moral of me to first convert to homosexualism, then, once I had the steak-knives, right away convert back to heterosexualism?
I sure could use the knives!
The moral answer to the question is that you should find something
even more selfish as a reason for not converting. I don't know what that might be, but I have an agenda here, so don't bother me with details.
The above statements can only be supported and explained through a detailed, life story...luckily I have one handy (and it's true btw.)
Shortly after graduating from college, I was employed by my sister in her retail store in a mall. I have worked with this sister in various businesses over the years, and most often her staff has been predominately homosexual, because she and her partner were both lesbians (yes, both of them) and they tended to hire from among their group of friends.
One day, the store was empty of customers so we were all just joking around and someone made the observation that at that particular time, I was the only heterosexual employee. There were about 6 gals there. I was the only straight one. They started to call me their "token heterosexual" and I was holding my own with the witty come-backs. It all seemed in good fun,
until the real agenda surfaced.
Someone mentioned that since I was completely surrounded by homosexuals, and everyone knew that homosexuals are always trying to convert non-homosexuals, it was obviously their duty to convert me.
So, they started to tell me the all the reasons why I should be gay. My hair was cut very short. I was already wearing very sensible shoes. Since I spent most of my waking hours with them, I was probably already gay-by-association. There were more...I just can't remember...all the reasons were flying at me...
Something like the
Indigo Girls was playing loudly on the store stereo. My head was swimming, a maze of confusion and turmoil. I was nearly there! Their arguments were sound. All I had was, "I was born that way. I like guys. That's it."
They weren't buying it. I had no other retort.
Then someone said, "Oh come on. What have you got to lose?"
That was it!
I realized at that moment why converting would be the dumbest thing for me to do. I told them that I was in the best position in that whole place and I had no intention of losing such a strong negotiating position. They didn't know what I meant, so I had to explain it to them.
Most of the employees were female. It was not uncommon to see guys walking by the store, glance in, then turn around and walk in. We often even had a bit of fun watching guys go up and try to get friendly with my sister's partner, who was usually located at a spot right in front, easily visible from outside the store. She was a strikingly attractive woman. She wasn't ever interested in them.
Now, even though I usually didn't see any guys I was interested in, in the event that a heterosexual man -- that I WAS interested in -- happened to come into that store, I HAD NO COMPETION! : hamster :
Only a fool would trade a position of no competition for being
surrounded by competition. I didn't appreciate them taking me for a fool -- and I let them know it!
So, in answer to your dilemma about the knives, do whatever you want. I just wanted to tell my story.
Thanks for explaining.
