Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother - Should we still do that?

[Bishka]

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." (Ephesians 6:1)

Honor Thy Father and thy Mother - one of the Ten Commandments

Do you think this should still be followed today? Why or why not? What harm has come of not obeying the law?

 

[Bishka]

"Young people, if you honor your parents, you will love them, respect them, confide in them, be considerate of them, express appreciation for them, and demonstrate all of these things by following their counsel in righteousness and by obeying the commandments of God." (Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quroum of the Twelve Aposstles, from a April 1991 general conferenece address)

 

[Valjean]

Honor them if their honorable, sure. But what if they're not ? What if they're thieves and scoundrels? Should a Christian be honoring criminals and reprobates?

And isn't there more to the commandment, "that your days shall be long on the Earth" or some such thing. It sounds like this commandment is no more than a practical recommendation for maximizing longevity.
Perhaps family fortunes were more strongly linked when most people were Bedouin goatherds, but is this injunction still applicable today?

 

[nutshell]

Absolutely it should be followed. As LDS, we believe we can become like our Father in Heaven (whom we should honor). I think honoring our parents is a sort of practice for honoring or Father in Heaven. Our physical parents give us our bodies and hopefullly take care of all our needs (and some of our wants as well). How much easier should it be to honor them who are tangible and readily available to be taken in by our senses than to honor God the Father who we cannot sense except by the Spirit.

It's late...I'm tired, so I'm not sure if I'm making sense.

 

[TashaN]

In Quran, Allah ordered us to obey our parents directly after the order of obeing him and it's a main part of Islam to do obey them and love them and because of that you might go to heaven too.


[23] Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.

(Quran 17:23)

 

[Valjean]

If your parents support themselves by armed robbery or selling crack is it right to honor them?
If they neglect you and force you to fend for yourself in a filth and squalor, or if they beat or sexually molest you, should you honor them?

Doesn't honoring a criminal tacitly support the crime?

The bible and Quran seem to require people to honor immoral and antisocial acts and actors. The basic idea seems very nice, but there are no "ifs" or "unlesses" in the commandments.

 

[SoyLeche]

If your parents support themselves by armed robbery or selling crack is it right to honor them?
If they neglect you and force you to fend for yourself in a filth and squalor, or if they beat or sexually molest you, should you honor them?

Doesn't honoring a criminal tacitly support the crime?

The bible and Quran seem to require people to honor immoral and antisocial acts and actors. The basic idea seems very nice, but there are no "ifs" or "unlesses" in the commandments.

Purhaps in your scenario the best way to 'honor' them is to turn them in. "Honor" doesn't necessarily mean to do whatever they say or look the other way when they are doing wrong.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Even in Reiki, one of the philosiphies is to honor your parents and teachers. But I agree with Seyorni, why honor them if they are not honorable?

 

[michel]

I found this quite interesting; I was thinking that maybe 'Honour thy Father and thy mother' might mean something a little different from the obvious.


I think the following is food for thought, and does, in a way, suggest that it is more than just 'Mother and Father". Ibelieve, from reading the following, that one can see it in a much larger 'frame'; that the verse pertains just as much to the wise men, the elderly, and to God, or Gods, depending on your faith.

From:- http://online.sfsu.edu/~rone/Filial/filial.html

[size=+2]Filial Respect:[/size]
[size=+2]Honoring Father and Mother[/size]
​

Compiled by Dr. Ron Epstein
Philosophy Department
San Francisco State University​

​

Confucianism
​

Confucius. Analects, Arthur Waley translation, Chapter Two:
Mang I asked what filial piety was. The Master said, "It is not
being disobedient."
Soon after, as Fan Ch'ih was driving him, the Master told him,
saying, "Mang-sun asked me what filial piety was, and I answered
him,-'not being disobedient.'"
Fan Ch'ih said, "What did you mean?" The Master replied, "That
parents, when alive, be served according to propriety; that, when
dead, they should be buried according to propriety; and that they
should be sacrificed to according to propriety."
Mang Wu asked what filial piety was. The Master said, "Parents
are anxious lest their children should be sick."
Tsze-yu asked what filial piety was. The Master said, "The
filial piety nowadays means the support of one's parents. But
dogs and horses likewise are able to do something in the way of
support;-without reverence, what is there to distinguish the one
support given from the other?"
Tsze-hsia asked what filial piety was. The Master said, "The
difficulty is with the countenance. If, when their elders have
any troublesome affairs, the young take the toil of them, and if,
when the young have wine and food, they set them before their
elders, is THIS to be considered filial piety?"
​

Judaism
​

Excerpts from The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg, Volume III:
But when the people heard the fifth commandment, "Honor thy father and
thy mother," they said: "According to our laws, if a man enrolls himself as a servant of the king, he thereby disowns his
parents. God, however, makes it a duty to honor father and mother; truly, for this is honor due to Him." [222]​

It was with these words that the fifth commandment was emphasized: "Honor thy parents to whom thou owest existence, as
thou honorest Me. Honor the body that bore thee, and the breasts that gave thee suck, maintain thy parents, for thy parents
took part in thy creation." [223] For man owes his existence to God, to his father, and to his mother, in that he receives from
each of his parents five of the parts of his body, and ten from God. The bones, the veins, the nails, the brain, and the white of
the eye come from the father. The mother gives him skin, flesh, blood, hair, and the pupil of the eye. God gives him the
following: breath, soul, light of countenance, sight, hearing, speech, touch, sense, insight, and understanding. [224] When a
human being honors his parents, God says: "I consider it as if I had dwelled among men and they had honored Me," but if
people do not honor their parents, God say: "It is good that I do not dwell among men, or they would have treated Me
superciliously, too." [225]​

God not only commanded to love and fear parents as Himself, but in some respects He places the honor due to parents even
higher than that due Him. A man is only then obliged to support the poor or to perform certain religious ceremonies, if he has
the wherewithal, but it is the duty of each one even to go begging at men' doors, if he cannot otherwise maintain his parents.
[226]​

​

Christianity
Martin Luther's Small Catechism:
Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Q. What does this mean?
A. We must respect and love God, so that we will neither look down on our parents or superiors nor irritate them, but will honor them, serve them, obey them, love them, and value them.
Islam
Excerpts from the Qur'an
And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but Allah; treat
with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need. (Qur'an 2.083)
And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. (Qur'an 031.014)​

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam." (Qur'an 046.015)​

​

Hinduism
Excerpt from The Laws of Manu
The father [is] the physical form of the Lord of Creatures, the mother the physical form of the earth... The trouble that a mother and father endure in giving birth to human beings cannot be redeemed even in a hundred years. He should constantly do what pleases the two of them.... (The Laws of Manu, 2:226)
​

Buddhism
Itivuttaka:​

This was said by the Blessed One, said by the Arahant, so I have heard: "Living with Brahma are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with the first devas are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with the first teachers are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with those worthy of gifts are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. 'Brahma' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first devas' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first teachers' is a designation for mother & father. 'Those worthy of gifts' is a designation for mother & father. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, nourish them, introduce them to this world."​

Mother & father,
compassionate to their family,
are called
Brahma,
first teachers,
those worthy of gifts
from their children.
So the wise should pay them
homage,
honor
with food & drink
clothing & bedding
anointing & bathing
& washing their feet.
Performing these services to their parents, the wise
are praised right here
and after death
rejoice in heaven. (106)
Sutta-Nipata:
Though being well-to-do, not to support father and mother who are old and past their youth -- this is a cause of
one's downfall. (I:6, Narada Thera, tr.)
...a wise man...should support his mother and father as his duty....(II:14, John D. Ireland, tr.)​

The Path of Purification:
[Regarding lovingkindness toward parents,] here is what is said:
Bhikkhus, it is not easy to find a being who has not formerly been your mother...your father...your sister...your son...your daughter (S. ii, 189-90).
Consequently he should think about that person thus: This person, it seems as my mother in the past carried me in her womb for ten months and removed from me without disgust as if it were yellow sandalwood my urine, exrement, spittle, snot, etc., and played with me in her lap, and nourished me, carrying me about at her hip. And this person as my father went by great paths and paths set on piles, etc., to pursue the trade of merchant, and he risked his life for me by going into battle in double array, by sailing on the great ocean in shops and doing other difficult things and he nourished me by bringing back wealth by one means or another thinking to feed his children. (IX, 36, Nyanamoli, tr.)
Venerable Master Hsuan Hua's Commentary to "Universal Worth's Conduct and Vows":
For example, teaching living beings who do not understand filial piety to be filial is a method to cause them to plant good roots. There is a saying,
Of the ten thousan evil acts, lust is the worst;
Of the one hundred wholesome deeds, filial piety is foremost.
What makes people different from animals is that people understand how to be filial to their parents and respectful to their teacher and elders. People are different from animals, who do not understand filiality, yet even
The lamb kneels to nurse;
The crow returns to feed its parents.
The young lamb kneels when it takes milk from its mother, and when the young crow grows up, it returns to care for its parents. Filial piety, therefore, is basic to being human. Those who are not filial to their parents do not have good roots, but one who is filial certainly does have good roots. (Flower Adornment Sutra, Ch 40, pp. 115-116)​

​

​

 

[pandamonk]

What if they are incestual paedophiles who sexually abuse you? Should you still honor them? Horrible subject, i know, but it does happen.

 

[TashaN]

Islam
Excerpts from the Qur'an
And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but Allah; treat
with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need. (Qur'an 2.083)
And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. (Qur'an 031.014)

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam." (Qur'an 046.015)​

Nice post dear Michel.

Regarding to Islam also i found this:

(Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood.’) (17:23-24).

In many Western societies, most children can’t wait to reach the legal age and move out of the house. Parents are seen as a hindrance to one’s freedom. Aged parents are seen as a burden that should be shoved onto the shoulders of a nursing home.

For a Muslim, being kind to parents is much more than remembering them on their birthdays or Mother’s or Father’s Day. Being kind to them means listening respectfully to their opinion and obeying them in everything that is not disobedience to God. For an adult child it means to see that they have the necessities of life and whatever more one can afford; to keep them under one’s roof when they are elderly without grudge; to never speak unkindly to them or physically abuse them.

Nursing homes are almost unheard of in Muslim countries. (And Alzheimer’s disease is also rare.) In an Islamic society, parents are respected for their wisdom and experience. Adult children might move out in search of work, but they still turn to their parents for advice and visit or communicate with them as much as possible. It is a Muslim’s honored duty to lovingly care for his or her parents in their old age. Parents sacrifice so much for their children when they are small; a Muslim is happy to return that sacrifice when his or her parents can no longer care for themselves. It is not a burden but a means of winning a great reward in Paradise.

In many Muslim societies, the extended family lives together. As parents become grandparents, they may help in looking after or educating young children. And even when they are no longer “productive”, they continue to be loved and respected for their humanity, and for their wisdom and experience.

In many Muslim societies, the extended family lives together. As parents become grandparents, they may help in looking after or educating young children. And even when they are no longer “productive”, they continue to be loved and respected for their humanity, and for their wisdom and experience.

A Muslim’s duties to his or her parents do not end when they die, for one thing that benefits the dead is the prayers of their righteous children.

A man asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), “Whom should I honor most?” The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. The Prophet replied, “Your father.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

[CaptainXeroid]

Purhaps in your scenario the best way to 'honor' them is to turn them in. "Honor" doesn't necessarily mean to do whatever they say or look the other way when they are doing wrong.

Excellent point! Many people misinterpret the 'honor thy father and mother' passage as was done in this thread. Consider the first line in the OP:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." (Ephesians 6:1)...

IMHO, this passage presumes that parents are 'in the Lord' and worthy to be honored. If your parents are not doing so, like the examples Seyorni describes, then you honor your parents by helping them stop their inappropriate behvaiour and by reminding them of God's instructions for parents.

So, to answer the question in the thread title, "Should we still do that?", my answer is ABSOLUTELY.:162:

 

[Ezzedean]

The bible and Quran seem to require people to honor immoral and antisocial acts and actors. The basic idea seems very nice, but there are no "ifs" or "unlesses" in the commandments.

So you think it should say; unless your parents are bad people... and if they are then treat them like trash? How is a bad person supposed to get any better when his own children don't even show them love?

Peace and Blessings