Honoring a fallen Marine - SGT Kenneth May, KIA in May 2010

[Kathryn]

This thread is dedicated to the memory of SGT Kenneth May, age 26, USMC, who was killed in action by an IED in May 2010, the day after he and his wife celebrated their 2nd anniversary over the phone.

He was born and raised in East Texas, and attended a local college. He played in the band through high school and college. He was his family's only son - a good student, good all-around guy, and a loving son and husband. He loved the Marine Corp and loved serving his country.

From his obituary:

"Kenneth Blaine May, Jr. was born in Kilgore at Laird Memorial Hospital on April 20, 1984. He was a 2002 graduate of Kilgore High School and attended Kilgore College. Kenneth was an accomplished guitarist and enjoyed all types of music. Other interests include gaming and firearms. Kenneth was a Christian man first and foremost and very involved and active with the Saddleback Church in San Clemente, Ca. near where the family was stationed at Camp Pendleton. He leaves behind a legacy of being a loving husband, son, and dear friend. Kenneth will be remembered stating, "The Warrior, whose sole reason for existence is War, is the seeker of Peace.”
In this thread, I also want to show how East Texans honor good men like SGT May. Our entire community is grieving the loss of such a fine person.




SGT Kenneth May, US Marine Corps




Patriot Guard assembling to escort SGT May's body from the airport to the funeral home. There were over 200 motorcycles.








Three strangers united by respect - the road from the funeral home to the airport was lined with people honoring this young man.




This is one of my favorite photos - this was three generations of Texans who stood out by the road for over two hours waiting for the procession from the airport - so that they could honor SGT May for 30 seconds as his body passed by their home. The ten mile stretch was lined with families like this one.




SGT May's body being taken from the plane to the hearse.





The Patriot Guard in action. Every vehicle they passed pulled over and the occupants got out of their cars to show respect.

More photos coming. Today is the visitation and tomorrow is the funeral. My husband told me yesterday, "Honey, if any of those fools from Westboro Church show up - your husband is going to jail." But I doubt they have the nerve to protest smack dab in the middle of the Texas oilfield - we've got some big ol' boys around here who just won't put up with that level of disrespect.

Thank you, SGT May, for serving your country and your state. Your family is in the prayers of an entire region.

 

[*Anne*]

My husband told me yesterday, "Honey, if any of those fools from Westboro Church show up - your husband is going to jail."

Your husband made me smile.

Safe journey to Kenneth.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

*silence*

 

[Kathryn]

Yes, the silence on this thread is absolutely deafening. It says more than a thousand words.

 

[monta]

Is the implication that anyone who opposes the war is responsible for this mans death?

I really don't get the point of repeatedly posting this mans face in the forum, it seems like his corpse is being used as a bludgeon, am I alone in finding this supremely distasteful?

 

[Just_me_Mike]

Is the implication that anyone who opposes the war is responsible for this mans death?

I really don't get the point of repeatedly posting this mans face in the forum, it seems like his corpse is being used as a bludgeon, am I alone in finding this supremely distasteful?

Not by a long shot, as this thread is what prompted me to make another thread called "Military and dead"

 

[Kathryn]

I asked the hosts that ONE post on the ONE other thread (with ONE picture of SGT May) that I posted be removed, along with any responses that included his information. The host told me that he would submit my request to the other hosts.

One post, on one thread, with one photo doesn't seem like overkill to me.

And as for your suggestion that I am saying, or hinting, or even that I believe, that anyone who opposes the war is responsible for this man's death - well, that's absolutely ridiculous. Not only do I not believe that, I don't believe I've implied that.

This thread is not in the debate section. This thread is simply a memorial to a fine young man, who was killed in action in Afghanistan.

I have to wonder - what's wrong with that?

I do have a suggestion, however - if you don't want to be reminded of SGT May's sacrifice, or to look at his photo anymore - don't come back to this thread. I won't be posting his information on any other threads, so you don't have to worry about looking at him or even thinking about him anymore. The choice is entirely yours.

And feel free to join me in my request to the hosts to have his name and photo taken out of the other thread.

 

[Kathryn]

Here are a few photos from this evening - the evening of the family's visitation at the funeral home. The actual funeral is tomorrow.




The crowd was lined out the door and through the parking lot for the full two hours to honor our native son. Inside, standing beside the casket, was SGT May's escort - a Marine who has escorted the body, not leaving his side except to sleep, since Afghanistan. The family - parents, young wife, and younger sister, were quiet and somber but dignified. One thing that touched me immensely was their kindness toward other people, even in this very difficult situation.




Veterans holding flags lined the perimeter of the large parking lot. They stood at attention for two hours, even the elderly ones. When my husband and I thanked them, they each told us that they were honored to do this.

Behind us in the line stood a Marine officer in full dress uniform. He told us that his son served with SGT May in the same unit. The officer had just come up from Houston - where he had attended the funeral of the other young Marine killed by the same IED as SGT May. He and his wife had flown in from Indianapolis to attend the funerals of two young men in Texas, who they had never met.

Nearly every flag in town is at half mast.

I'm sure this means a lot to the family. It would to me, anyway.

 

[Wannabe Yogi]

I am glad that his remains were treated with so much respect. I wish peace for his family and loved ones.

 

[Kathryn]

Marine SGT Kenneth May was laid to rest yesterday. His funeral was tasteful and dignified, yet at the same time full of his vibrant, artistic personality. It was standing room only in the largest church in town. State Rep Louis Gohmert flew in from Washington DC to attend the services, which I thought was a nice gesture on his part.

Three pastors spoke at this funeral - Kenny's family pastor (they have attended the same church all their lives and he knew Kenny well), Kenny's young widow's pastor, who married them, and Kenny's pastor in California, where he was stationed.

Kenny's strong Christian faith was evident to all who knew him. Even though he was a Marine stationed far from his hometown, he immediately joined a church in California and was very active in young adult outreach ministries and the music ministry. There was story after story of his generosity and willingness to help others who were struggling with the realities of deployments, new marriages, separation from family, etc. He had a huge heart and truly lived his faith.

He also had a rambunctious sense of humor and enjoyed mischief.

Though he and his wife had only been married 2 years, they had dated for six years. He often referred to her as his Proverbs 31 woman.

Kenny loved tattoos and had many of them. Right before he deployed for the last time, he asked his pastor which tattoo he should get next. He and his pastor agreed that when he returned, he should get 1 Corinthians 15:55.

"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

Kenny won't be getting this tattoo to add to his extensive collection - not in this life. But his family and friends believe that he has fulfilled the promise of that verse and is whole and healthy again, and rocking heaven with his music.

There were many, many Marines and other active duty military personnel at this funeral, even though we live hours away from any military installation. I was very impressed with the number of active duty men and women who went far out of their way to honor their brother.

Music was very important to Kenny, so the service was full of songs that he loved. The service began with this beautiful song by Alison Kraus:

In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But theres one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there

In You're love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer my God to Thee

(Take my life and let me be
a living prayer my God to Thee)

In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives
[youtube]tLZAWtdFhio[/youtube]
YouTube - Alison Krauss-A Living Prayer

And ended with this classic by Metallica:

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
[youtube]HyrWd_gfQNQ[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyrWd_gfQNQ&a=NHN4WQuXbXs&playnext_from=ML

After the service, the Patriot Guard escorted the procession to the graveyard, where SGT May was buried with full military honors. I left the church a few minutes early and went to a large oilfield services company that I knew was on the route to the cemetery. I went inside and told the receptionist that SGT May's body would be passing soon. She immediately made an announcement and employees stopped what they were doing and poured out of the facility to stand at attention on the hot pavement while the procession passed. There were at least 40 people who stood there in stone silence as hundreds of motorcycles and cars passed slowly.




Patriot Guard ready to escort SGT May's body to the cemetery.




Oilfield workers standing at attention as the funeral procession passed. Notice the vehicles pulled over on the side of the road. Not sure if this is done anywhere else, but in Texas when a funeral procession passes, all vehicles pull over and stop. In this case, many people got out of their cars and stood either at attention or with their hands over their hearts.




SGT May's family with the folded flag.

For those who say that young men and women who enlist in the military do so because they don't have any other options, or they don't know what they're getting into, or they're power hungry - I want to expand your understanding. SGT May, and many, many young men and women like him in the military, definitely did not sign up for any of these reasons. He had a comfortable home, a college education, many talents and opportunities. He was on his second enlistment and third deployment - he knew exactly what he was volunteering for. And he was not power-hungry - he had a heart of service and a sense of purpose.

SGT May wrote these words home:

"The Warrior, whose sole reason for existence is War, is the seeker of Peace.” He told his family and friends often that he hoped to work himself right out of a job by working to end war, not to extend it.

His war is ended. May we pray that he did not die in vain.

 

[Kathryn]

And it absolutely floors me that there are so few responses to this thread - not because it's MY thread, because it's not about me. It's about a young man - a young man like so many that all of us know and interact with every day. Except of course for the fact that, unlike so many of us, and so many of our acquaintances, he was exemplary when it came to behavior and attitude.

It's very telling to me that so few people on this forum will even look at this thread, let alone comment, either publically or privately, to show a drop of respect for Kenny May. In fact, half the comments from others on this thread are actually negative - in spite of the fact that the thread was placed in a non debate section.

Very interesting.

By the way, my thanks to the very FEW of you who have commented respectfully.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

Kathryn, this thread made me make another thread, and really it was just a way for me to think out loud about an important issue.

Of course my heart goes out to his family, and I am very sorry for their loss.

What bothers me is the spectacle being made because he was a soldier.

I don't care that he was a soldier. I might care about his wife, his kids, his survivors, his friends, and if he happened to also be a soldier, that is OK too. However, the emphasis is to heavy on his soldiering for me. It takes the eyes off who he really was, and also serves a negative agenda the government is waging right now, to "honor these people" cause they were soldiers.

That is my opinion, and felt I would offer it so you can see at least I am thinking about it, and trying to make sense of the atrocities that are taking place.

No offense intended to you, OK?

 

[.lava]

hi Kathryn, there's a saying in our culture. i am very bad at translating sayings but it is like "fire burns only the place where it falls down". shortly noone is going to be as sad as his family, his mother and his wife. if we suppose to focus on one inviduals death, it is always heart breaking for the ones who loved him dearly. for you, it is maybe easier to understand how a mother would feel because you also have sons. i get that. though war in Afghanistan is not an individual matter. maybe many more American young men go there to find a terrorist, but i doubt that's what they die for. that would not make this young man's death less important. matter of fact it makes it more tragic. if he died in his own land, defending his people against a foreign army trying to steal their future, then his death would make me proud too. i would respect that kind of bravery and sacrifice. i am sorry to say, he died in another nation to make firms and their owners richer and to steal future of Afghan people. that might not be his reason to be there. as i said, war in Afhanistan is not an individual matter. he was a soldier who only follow commands without questioning. i am sorry that many young lives are being sacrificed by the richest, by those coward fools who could not even spend a day on battle zone. that's sad

.

 

[Kathryn]

hi Kathryn, there's a saying in our culture. i am very bad at translating sayings but it is like "fire burns only the place where it falls down". shortly noone is going to be as sad as his family, his mother and his wife. if we suppose to focus on one inviduals death, it is always heart breaking for the ones who loved him dearly. for you, it is maybe easier to understand how a mother would feel because you also have sons. i get that. though war in Afghanistan is not an individual matter. maybe many more American young men go there to find a terrorist, but i doubt that's what they die for. that would not make this young man's death less important. matter of fact it makes it more tragic. if he died in his own land, defending his people against a foreign army trying to steal their future, then his death would make me proud too. i would respect that kind of bravery and sacrifice. i am sorry to say, he died in another nation to make firms and their owners richer and to steal future of Afghan people. that might not be his reason to be there. as i said, war in Afhanistan is not an individual matter. he was a soldier who only follow commands without questioning. i am sorry that many young lives are being sacrificed by the richest, by those coward fools who could not even spend a day on battle zone. that's sad

.

Lava, thank you for your well thought out response. I appreciate the time you took to put these thoughts together, even though I do not agree with what you're saying.

Our differing opinions on the war are just that - our opinions. We base these on what we read, what we hear, what we believe about history, our own set of moral values, etc. I believe that all of us, myself included, form opinions in part by disgarding or overlooking information that doesn't fit into our point of view. Most of us don't do this intentionally or with bad ulterior motives - I think it's just human nature frankly, to be biased.

And I believe that your POV, and my POV, and just about every other POV on this war, and every war throughout history, has elements of truth - and elements that we've been deceived about by others - and our own prejudices.

I think it's very difficult to get to the "truth" about any war. I also think that in EVERY war, people fight for many DIFFERENT reasons. These reasons make perfect sense to the person fighting, especially in an all volunteer military situation.

Because our very nature is so biased toward our own self interests, I think it's very good to expose ourselves to others' points of view and differing opinions. In other words, seek first to understand. Rather than rushing to judgment about other people, I think we need to truly listen to WHY they believe as they do.

Only then is there any hope at all for peace.

 

[Kathryn]

Kathryn, this thread made me make another thread, and really it was just a way for me to think out loud about an important issue.

Of course my heart goes out to his family, and I am very sorry for their loss.

What bothers me is the spectacle being made because he was a soldier.

I don't care that he was a soldier. I might care about his wife, his kids, his survivors, his friends, and if he happened to also be a soldier, that is OK too. However, the emphasis is to heavy on his soldiering for me. It takes the eyes off who he really was, and also serves a negative agenda the government is waging right now, to "honor these people" cause they were soldiers.

That is my opinion, and felt I would offer it so you can see at least I am thinking about it, and trying to make sense of the atrocities that are taking place.

No offense intended to you, OK?

Thank, Mike, for this response. I read your other thread, and haven't responded to it yet because I wanted to really think things through and give a calm response without being inflammatory.

Since my answer to this post will be in disagreement and debate with you, and this is not a debate thread, I'll use your other thread to answer you in detail with my opinion.

I do appreciate the tone of this post though. Thanks.

 

[warriordefenders]

I appreciate this posting of my cousins' beloved name sake. Living far away and out of touch for years, I was fortunate to be informed of his death and very much appreciate these photos and the write up covering his burial. If it were not for this posting I would have totally missed an important event that is personal to me.

I am a recent member of the Patriot Guard. I am a motorcyclist but most of all, I am grateful for our Warriors, the Defenders of Freedom for America. I have a new appreciation for the Patriot Guard for future participation.

All critical and unkind remarks in protest of the postings and photo of Sgt. Kenneth May Jr. are unwarranted and unjust. A time comes when we all will give an account for our words. My prayer is the posting remains but I have printed out a copy in case, so no worries here.

My condolences to my cousin and his family in the loss of another of America's heros. A life well lived is sacred and so is his sacrifice and theirs. Kenneth's grandmother was my one of my two favorite Aunts for all my life. Time and distance will not change love.

Those who are bitter towards the expressions for such a beautiful loss are only wounded and without understanding. You too are forgiven.

Warrior Defender
Kennesaw, GA

 

[MysticSang'ha]

My prayers and condolences go out to this man's family, his friends, and his community.

I must come to the defense of the forum members as a whole however, for what seems to be an indictment of...something. The comments concerning how "FEW" members have chimed in or how the "silence is deafening" or how this thread is being ignored I find to be heavy-handed and jumping to conclusions.

I've found over the years that many threads go ignored here, but I don't believe it's right to discern the motivations of the forum members as a group for ignoring those threads.

It only seems as if your message is not just to honor the memory of SGT May, but that the whole of RF should, too. And since you believe RF as a whole isn't honoring his memory that the members here are...what? Cold-hearted? Unappreciative? Unpatriotic?

I'm interpreting a few of your comments to be a subliminal forum "spanking." No disrespect to you or to SGT May, but I don't believe the forum deserves to be lectured.

 

[Kathryn]

Mystic - since I don't know the motivations or opinions of all of the forum, I had to make general observations. I'm not jumping to conclusions about everyone in RF.

Nor do I expect everyone to be appreciative of SGT May, or to respond in one way or another. That would be totally unrealistic - and also just plain weird and stupid.

I wasn't lecturing the forum - I was making observations and commenting. As for the forum "deserving to be lectured," -- hmmm, that's a strange way of putting it. The thread WAS silent - which was at odds obviously with, say, the community in which I live, and the "real life" responses to SGT May's death. I'm sure there are many reasons for the lack of forum participation or reaction - some of which are totally benign.

My words were directed at individuals but since they were silent, I had to post them as general comments. If the shoe fits, wear it or throw it at me. If not, my words were not directed at you, and no hard feelings.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Fair enough. Thank you for clearing that up. :flower: