"How are you today?"....do you care?!

[jewscout]

ok so i work this stupid front desk all day long....as laid back as this job is...it's boring and i can't stand the stupid that calls up here...i really want to switch careers and become a teacher...
but anywho...the point of this thread is...when people call up here they are always like "How are you doing today?" now it's one thing if like...i knew who these people were...but most of the time it's just a nicety that they insert for no good reason...and most of the time they don't even give me time to make a pointless response....
i really just want to be like...
Caller: "How are you doing today?"
Me: "Well aside for the hemorroids i'm doing swell!"
or
Me: "Well i lost my legs in a horrible fight with a rabbit, how are you?"
or
Me: "O G-d that's what patricia used to always ask me!!" ::begin sobbing uncontrolably::

Any other responses ya'll can think of??

 

[Druidus]

As soon as they answer, say, "And that'll be 12.50. Will you be picking it up, or do you want delivery?" When they ask what, tell them their pizza. When they protest, and say that they never ordered pizza, and that they were calling a support line, defend your position. Do not give in; maintain that you are a pizza hut.

 

[Saw11_2000]

I have told people before who try to shake my hand and say "it's a pleasure to meet you" to "give it a few minutes".

 

[No*s]

Here's one:

Me: I just lost my entire family, two friends, and my house today. I'm doing swell

 

[No*s]

That said I'm the world's worst about asking "How are you today" and trying to shake hands. Of course...I generally want to know how someone's doing, even if they're a stranger. I don't know how many times I've gotten myself stuck by doing it .

 

[michel]

ok so i work this stupid front desk all day long....as laid back as this job is...it's boring and i can't stand the stupid that calls up here...i really want to switch careers and become a teacher...
but anywho...the point of this thread is...when people call up here they are always like "How are you doing today?" now it's one thing if like...i knew who these people were...but most of the time it's just a nicety that they insert for no good reason...and most of the time they don't even give me time to make a pointless response....
i really just want to be like...
Caller: "How are you doing today?"
Me: "Well aside for the hemorroids i'm doing swell!"
or
Me: "Well i lost my legs in a horrible fight with a rabbit, how are you?"
or
Me: "O G-d that's what patricia used to always ask me!!" ::begin sobbing uncontrolably::

Any other responses ya'll can think of??

I like your responses; I've never thought of answering that way; I usually say something like "I wouldn't ask me that question if I were you, because we could be here awhile...".
Of course you're right, it has become a social nicety; once someone has asked you, they see to immediately switch off and probably would'nt even hear a word you say!
Reminds me ofa doctor in Africa (Small town, close-knit society), when some people used social occasions to ask the doctor for 'off the cuff' advice (cut out the need for consultation, paying to see him etc...). Mum told me that one evening, when he was feeling a bit 'jaded' this doctor, having been asked a whispered question by a woman, said in a very loud voice "Madam, I believe you are suffering from a gynacological problem, if you like to make an appointment to see me, I shall make sure there is a chaperone so that I can examine you properly" ( and this was in the'50's, when 'women's problems' were a very taboo subject); apparently no one ever spoke to him about symptoms atba party again!

 

[Lycan]

Me: "I sneezed and blew snot all over my keyboard and you called, other than that I am doing great."

 

[Lycan]

For women talking to a man: "I just started my period and ran out of tampons, and you?"

 

[Melody]

I have told people before who try to shake my hand and say "it's a pleasure to meet you" to "give it a few minutes".

:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

 

[Prima]

Those are all great responses.

Try immediately asking them how they are. When they say 'fine' inform them that you do not believe they're telling you the truth, and threaten to force them to take a lie-detector test if they don't answer honestly. Over their protests, tell them about how new brain scans can also tell if someone is lying or not, and do they think their insurance would cover that?

It bothers me that it's a nicety, also. When I ask someone, I always make sure to let them know that, yes, I actually do want to know, and no, I don't mind if they complain to me for half an hour. It either shocks or pleases them

 

[Druidus]

I make it a point whenever I get a servive of any kind to make sure that the people who do the serving know they are appreciated.

 

[Bastet]

A smart arse customer in drive thru yesterday made the mistake of commenting that I didn't "look very happy today". So I told him that no, I wasn't particularly, then I told him exactly why, threw his food down, burst into tears and left someone else to finish his order. He won't make that mistake again in the near future, I'm sure.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

A smart arse customer in drive thru yesterday made the mistake of commenting that I didn't "look very happy today". So I told him that no, I wasn't particularly, then I told him exactly why, threw his food down, burst into tears and left someone else to finish his order. He won't make that mistake again in the near future, I'm sure.

*gigglesnortgigglesnortgigglesnort*

What bugs me even more is when people think they can cheer you up by saying "You look _______ (grumpy, upset, unhappy), you should smile!" I've yet to find the courage to reply "Maybe that's because I want to look ____!" Instead, having worked a lot with fox (the animal) I have a tendancy to put on a fox smile that seriously unnerves people.

 

[Bastet]

*gigglesnortgigglesnortgigglesnort*

What bugs me even more is when people think they can cheer you up by saying "You look _______ (grumpy, upset, unhappy), you should smile!" I've yet to find the courage to reply "Maybe that's because I want to look ____!" Instead, having worked a lot with fox (the animal) I have a tendancy to put on a fox smile that seriously unnerves people.

You could always change the words and say the sentence back to them, like: "You look fat, you should diet!" ...and say it with a smile.

 

[Unedited]

This is where I make up words. “Oh, I’m just devragrated. And you?”

*gigglesnortgigglesnortgigglesnort*

What bugs me even more is when people think they can cheer you up by saying "You look _______ (grumpy, upset, unhappy), you should smile!" I've yet to find the courage to reply "Maybe that's because I want to look ____!" Instead, having worked a lot with fox (the animal) I have a tendancy to put on a fox smile that seriously unnerves people.

I just try to remember that they’re usually not trying to be mean, but just show concern. A few days ago, this guy told me I looked really tired so I replied, “Oh thank you” in as sarcastic a voice as I could muster and once he realized what he said, just apologized profusely!

 

[Master Vigil]

Just the other day, I was having a bad day at work and when a guy was leaving he said. "Have a nice day." And I said, "No thanks, I have other plans."

 

[robtex]

caller: "How are you today"
you : "in a state of bliss blessed with the opportunity to be on the phone with you today."

caller: "how are you today"
you: "overwhelmed at the thought of being able to turn down whatever request you are about to ask of me at this moment."

caller: "How are you today"
you: "inquizative enough to ask what is the quickest way to appease you and get you off my phoneline?"

 

[KateTacular]

Small talk is the worst. And I'm horrible at it. There's been quite a few times when I worked retail where I just wanted to tell someone to "**** off" no matter what they said.

 

[johnnys4life]

That is great, Prima. I tend not to ask unless I really want to know as well. There are a few (bless their hearts) little old ladies at church who will give me the sweeping medical details of their last bout with asthma or back surgery, but I try to listen patiently and sympathetically, and not eye the door longingly...

When someone asks me how I'm doing I usually tell them something I think is interesting that I've been doing - like a good book I've read or a new project I'm working on, or an interesting fact I've learned.

So Jewscout, how're you today?

 

[Lookingformeaning]

I have always wanted to say "Taco Bell, whats your beef?" Just to see what they would say on the other line. lol